To feel depressed that exW took DSSs to Miami

[Bonsoir]

for a fortnight at Christmas and for them to have come back having gained a huge new Abercrombie & Fitch wardrobe and 4kgs apiece?

Not sure about that duchess. After my parents split up I quite often complained and said bad things about my mother...because it was true. No one picked me up on it, because if they had I'd have twatted them. Just the fact of being their mother doesn't give her some saintly status that means no one's allowed to criticise her if it's justified.

Yeah but saying she's fat isn't criticising (constructively or in that unfocussed teenaged way) her parenting style- it's just offensive.

how fabulously demented!

you have to feel sorry for those kids though - they will be years in therapy if this is all true.

There should be no need at all to weigh healthy children of any age. And even if they were overweight weighing them regularly would not be at all helpful.

Excuse moi, kindly desist from commenting on the size of my derierre!

Merci bien

I'm a little bit confused at some of the details in this thread.
You said near the beginning that your dss's had all their meals with you, yet not long after you say they have all their meals during the week in front of the tv with their mother, and she takes them out at the weekends.
You say your dp does all the dr's stuff, yet some super sleuth found a previous thread that shows that he doesn't.

Do you get your kicks from having loads of MNers telling you you are mental?
Why else would you write such a lot of loopy clap trap?

the poor mother sounds as if she couldn't possibly win - she neglects them but spoils then, she doesn't talk to them but takes them away for 2 weeks (presumably she spoke to them then?) she doesn't take them for any appointments but when she does it's the wrong doctor..

Bonsoir, it really is nothing to do with you what this woman buys for her children or where she takes them on holiday, she is their mother and it is up to her.

You are coming across as a very bitter person

"However, I hope you and your dh can handle your upset in such a way as to conceal it from the dsses because parental obsession with dc weight is a huge contributory factor in developing eating disorders and it would be absolutely tragic (rather than just a little upsetting) if either of your stepsons went on to develop one of those."

What bibbity said with bells on. My parents decided I was too fat when I was 13 (I was maybe a size 12 at 5 ft 6) and I still have massive food issues today.

"FWIW, DP's lawyer always tells him that she would like to use our family as her model for the amicable divorce in her forthcoming book of her lifelong experiences"

Of course she does. She wants to carry on being his lawyer.

And also she's probably not aware of how inappropriate/ emotionally abusive it may be, to expose children to such antipathy to their mother. She probably thinks that seeing that the mother's got a big arse, it's perfectly acceptable.

Oi are you going on about my grande derrierre again!

Damn, just outed myself as Bonsoir's partner's ex

violethill do you always take the piss when folk are admitting to feeling depressed?

Bonsoir's not depresssed, she's showing off! 'Look at meeee, I'm not only Parisienne and a size zero, I'm SO much better than my partner's fat ex-wife who is a terrible mother who (shock horror) takes her children on holiday and buys them clothes'...

Moi? Of course! I was married to Bonsior's partner for many years, so I know from experience that laughter is the best remedy!

I think there are those on this thread who have knowledge of Bonsoir and her previous, and those taking her posts at her own estimation.

There are so many wild speculations on this thread that I cannot begin to respond to them but, duchesse, may I please make it clear that I am in no way colluding with anyone in letting the boys be rude about their mother. Any sort of rudeness is quickly stamped down on in this household, but the "Jumbo" nickname is something they told DP, not me (and he told them off very fiercely).

Mothers are saints and can do no wrong on MN. Stepmothers, however caring and hardworking, are always evil...

Anna, Anna, Anna, you are truely one of a kind (thank god).

"Stepmothers, however caring and hardworking, are always evil..."

No, sometimes they are simply barking.

Bonsoir I'm sure you aren't evil. But I do remember you moaning on more than one occasion that you and your DP have to buy all the DSS' clothes. It does seem that lard arse of an ex wife can't win.

Yes, it's quite a turnaround. But why Miami beach clothes are going to be of any use in snowy Paris in January is quite beyond me!

Luckily the sales started today so we can buy pants, socks and winter coats and shoes!

oh dont be so sensible fgs!

Bonsoir - I do know rather a lot about the weight of your family members.

I know you are currently at the low end of your normal weight and your precise size from your jeans thread.

I know your DP's ex wife is jumbo.

I know your sister has let herself go.

I know your DP's mother is overweight.

I know you DSSs are currently overweight to the point of tears.

Is it possible you have a bit of an ishooo with weight? Not in a nasty way.

I'm completely fed up of having to be sensible. That's what this thread is all about . Why can't the DSSs' mother be sensible and responsible? Why does it all have to fall on our shoulders? It's a complete PITA.