To feel depressed that exW took DSSs to Miami

[Bonsoir]

for a fortnight at Christmas and for them to have come back having gained a huge new Abercrombie & Fitch wardrobe and 4kgs apiece?

What I don't understand is why Anna keeps posting this stuff on MN...
you never ever take on board what anyone is saying Anna, you'll have gleened nothing from all of this, you'll still believe you're 100% in the right...
T'is sad for dss and your dd imo.

wat is zis Boden you speak of? Do zay do outsize?

I am (whispers, ashamedly) size 12? Quelle horreur!

Are there honestly only a few on MN that think it's all a pile of shite?

She's been posting the same story for years though. It's too consistent to be fabricated - usually trolls of this kind step up with some kind of escalating crisis within a few weeks. Bonsoir just keeps plodding on in her Parisienne bubble.

You clearly hate the EXW and I have seen you post about her before now and TBH your posts come across as extremely bitter and jealous.

You have her children living with you, you took her husband off her and you are thinner than her! You probably ruined her life. What more do you want, blood?

Jesus, life is too short.

Ooh la la TryHarder!!

Zis is indeed ze truth! I may be a leetle - ahem! - curvier, but zis Bonsoir, the new wife, she is tres CRAZY !!!!!!!

maybe as she was his wife?

sorry, this is from a few posts back but

'Sometimes I'd just love to only have DD to concentrate on - it would certainly be a lot simpler! But I don't - I have two DSSs who are here half the time and who need a lot of input while they are here, from both me and DP. I have lots of responsibilities in my family that I cannot ignore.'

yes dear.

so they've gained 9lbs in 2 weeks? So did I - it ain't the end of the bloody world.

It's called having 2 weeks of the Whole Year to enjoy yourself a bit and eat festive food with no guilt

It'll take the maximum of a month to get off - it isn't some "long hard slog" - just make them walk, do gym excersizes once or twice a week and serve meat and veg only... not difficult ffs

stop being so bloody pathetic

have reread thread
think OP likes the hassle - makes her feel like better parent, makes her love HER kid more, makes her feel more important and needed by feckless h, oh no p

Oh, maybe that's one of the issues here, Bonsoir being jealous of the ex because she was married to this horrible man with the weight fetish.

Lord above Anna, you have the skin of a rhino, I think you're my MIL in disguise

The poor boys probably ate a lot so they could live of the fat for the next year, seeing hows you and DP don't feed them.

I, for one, can't wait for Anna's posts when she's getting married.

"maybe as she was his wife?"

Yeah, and look what happened to that.

Is the exw French? If she is it puts pay to your all French women are skinny minnies mantra. What with her having a fat arse and all.

i've never thought of her as being jealous as much as deeply insecure. given the stereotypes thrown around about french men, the fact that he's already moved on from one relationship and the fact that he doesn't appear to want to actually marry her i can see why she might feel that way. this can't be helped by the fact that she must be getting older each year and given the french obsession with appearance the risks would seem to increase with time. obviously i know nothing about her and this could be wide of the mark but she is, as has already been observed, incredibly consistent in her views.

I am so glad you aren't my step mother Anna! I suppose you would tell me that my 2 yo is spoilt for getting presents for her birthday and christmas in December! How selfish of me to not get my planning right so that she wouldn't end up being spoilt and expecting treats in December.

Am sure the clothes aren't going to kill them, and it does make financial sense to buy A and F in the US as half the price, and if they put on a bit of weight, well bully for them they are growing boys.

Her weight is really none of your concern whatsoever, just as my weight is nothing to do with my mother, my sil or my dh's ex girlfriend from 20 years ago!!!!

Actually I feel there is something very insidious at work here. I really think that your ex is using you and his boys to get back at his ex. It seems that he using them and you to continue attempting to control EXW's behaviour. If the boys are not sensible and sorted enough to not do silly things, even if and that's a BIG if, their mother is a little substandard in parenting, then your P bears at least as much responsibility as his ex and possibly a little more since they are boys.

I would tread really quite carefully on this one, and avoid being too committal about the ex whose behaviour really is Nothing To Do With You because you actually risk alienating the two boys and leaving them with no significant adult to turn to when their parents' little long distance argument goes tits up (I just hope it won't be expressed by one of their sons).

These boys may really need a strong adult presence at some point. At the moment there is a chance that you are not being that strong presence.

Is it possible that your P's ex did these things (the holiday, the clothes, the alleged overeating) deliberately knowing he wouldn't like them (but the boys would)? And that she is therefore trying to use them to get at him? Or to thumb her nose at him (for which frankly I can only applaud her if he is being so controlling).

I'm coming to stay with you Bonsoir! My New Year's Resolution is to lose my 30lbs of baby weight (so named even though "baby" is 2.5 ). I'll come visit, you can degrade me about my tacky Target wardrobe and force me to run laps until I pass out, at which point you will give me my daily ration of food-one spinach leaf. It'll be great- get my bed ready! (Perhaps you'd better reinforce the mattress so as to support my "jumbo" behind...)

this thread is so funny!! i went to miami once, i bought loads of shit in saw grass mills. but i'm not 9 stone. Anna are you really that heavy?! oooh you;re a couchon!!

Blimey - your husband sounds like a right controlling twat and you sound as though you are controlled most of all by him.

Your DSSs sound as though they had a lovely holiday, got spoilt rotten and relaxed and ate what they wanted as everyone does on holiday.

From some one who being called fat by their stepmother sparked years and years of eating disorders - which to this day I am not fully over at the grand old age of 35 - you are really not helping them and are actually being a worse parent than their relaxed, loving mother.

Can I just chip back in Anna to say that you may not feel that you are being unkind to these boys as you seem to be looking after them very efficiently, which is a tall order for someone who's never had children of this age before. I understand totally your need to provide a united front with the boys' father, but alarm bells rang for me when you said that the older boy is rude about his mother. That to me says that he being asked to choose between his father and his mother emotionally, which no child should ever be asked to do. By colluding in this alone you are being unkind and putting excessive pressure on them.

There is no way in the world that they should be making rude comments about there own mother, and they should be picked up on them by every adult in their life, NOT encouraged or agreed with. Actually I'm beginning to feel really sorry for the ex, not just slightly sorry.

aargh! their own mother. must proofread, must proofread. 3/20 De serieuses lacunes.

Can I also say that what you are experiencing now is exactly why I decided at 17 that I would never marry a Frenchman. They are the biggest bunch of sexist pigs I have ever met.

yes duchesse, it must be confusing for them, htey have to feel guilty about having enjoyed a nice holiday...

i've never felt sorry for anna's partner's xw. i think anna is funny and mostly sane and reasonable... except when she's being fattist, but she can't help that now she's living parmi les francaises.

Did you meet your dp on this site by any chance?

www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/jan/04/beautiful-people-rid-dating-slobs