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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let dd1 go in a smokers car

103 replies

happilyeverafter · 28/12/2009 15:38

FIL annual party and he's offered to collect us (under ten mins driving) I've said I will drive and they not happy I won't accept lift

FIL heavy smoker and car permanently reeks. He has hoovered it out but he has done this before and it didn't wipe out smell and carseat smelt afterwards (he didn't smoke when she was in)

I don't mind driving but DH hinted he think I am being mean not letting her go in their car.

OP posts:
Missus84 · 28/12/2009 15:42

As long as he's not smoking in the car while your DD is in it then what's the problem?

cat64 · 28/12/2009 15:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SerendipitousHarlot · 28/12/2009 15:44

Yes, YABU.

It's a smell

For a few minutes

hocuspontas · 28/12/2009 15:44

YABU

Next!

Ewe · 28/12/2009 15:56

What Harlot said, YABU.

MUTTletoe · 28/12/2009 15:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PrivetDancer · 28/12/2009 16:00

Yabvu and silly. 10 minutes?! And he's hoovered it specially? You must be the dil from hell

Booyule · 28/12/2009 16:00

happilyeverafter OH's parents used to smoke in their car and it is a ten minute journey from their house to ours. ds used to reek. i had to strip all his clothes off him when he came through the door. i wouldnt let him go if i'd had a choice.

mumblechum · 28/12/2009 16:03

FGS 10 mins is NOT going to kill her.

Original poster
happilyeverafter · 28/12/2009 16:10

I am under no illusions it will result in her premature death, I'm just not wanting the carseat to smell. Or dd1.

I feel bad that he's hoovered it but I didn't know he was planning on picking us up.

I was going to drive anyway so just figured it easier to stick with that.

OP posts:
brimfull · 28/12/2009 16:14

yabu

just wash the cover after if it bothers you

I think it comes across as rude if you refuse

MUTTletoe · 28/12/2009 16:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

midori1999 · 28/12/2009 16:16

I don't think it is unreasonable to decline a lift somewhere in favour of driving yourself.

I certainly couldn't go in a car that smelt strongly of smoke, it would make me sick, especially at the moment as I have severe morning sickness.

MUTTletoe · 28/12/2009 16:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MUTTletoe · 28/12/2009 16:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumof2point5 · 28/12/2009 16:24

YANBU
what's his prob - you want to drive......
stinky smoke - yuk - and you have to give yourself extra work by washing everything
stick to your original plan - thank him for offering to pick you up etc etc
no big deal IMO

midori1999 · 28/12/2009 16:24

Reagrdless of whether the OP's daughter suffers morning sickness, the OP clearly doesn't like the smell of smoke, and presumably will also have to sit in the car. Or is she to send her daughter in her FIL's car and drive herself over seperately?

it is kind of them to offer a lift, it is silly to be offended because it is declined.

I fail to see how accepting or declining a lift can drive a wedge between any sensible adults?

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/12/2009 16:25

yabu

your fil has tried to make an effort by hoovering car, he wont be smoking while you/dd are in the car

its 10mins

nappyaddict · 28/12/2009 16:27

Nicotine attaches to the hair, body and clothes so I'm sure it would attach itself to car upholstery as well. Unless he is prepared to give his car a full valet before he picks you up then YANBU and surely in that case it would just be easier for you to drive?

NancyDrewRocks · 28/12/2009 16:30

Give a bit.

It wont kill you. Or DD.

If your DH has hinted you've been mean presumably that is because either DD or FIL would really enjoy the trip?

tackyChristmastreedelivery · 28/12/2009 16:41

I see why you don't want to, but I would let him take her. I believe we all have to live together, children have to coexist alongside adults, who sometimes do less than perfect things.

If she had lung problems, or was a prem baby or something, I might not allow a very long journey. Nicotine does cling to fibres I believe.

I shouldn't think 10 mins will result in damage to her lungs. That is the point after all. Don't make a point about disapproving of his smoking by not leting him drive her. I don't think we should use children to make points.

I know it does pong though.

MitchyInge · 28/12/2009 16:45

the car will be belching out poison for entire journey anyway

unless it is a pedal car?

Original poster
happilyeverafter · 28/12/2009 17:00

DH is making me feel bad as FIL enthusiastic about us both having drink, family of big drinkers, can't understand folk going to party and driving.

I just said to him thanks but I'm going to drive so no worries of a family rift! Haven't mentioned smell as being reason don't want to go in their car as no need.

Have told DH to stop giving me 'the look' as last time she went in fil car DH moaned for weeks the seat stunk, said it made our car smell, I had to strip it down and wash it to shut him up. He has a short memory.

OP posts:
SerendipitousHarlot · 28/12/2009 17:26

Nicotine clings to clothes??? Could I see a link please?

tackyChristmastreedelivery · 28/12/2009 17:40

I haven't any links, I was told on a study day on Sudden Infant Death prevention.

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