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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why parents give their children food in supermarkets when it is not yet paid for?

535 replies

purplepeony · 21/12/2009 18:50

Do you?

is your child so hungry that you have to grab a frnech stick, break bits off and feed it to them then present the empty packet at the checkout?

Are mums so disorganised that they cannot feed teir child before they shop?

Are they keen to feed (ha!) the "I want it now" mentality?

It really annoys me when I see this going on, asit means kids grow up not being able to wait one second from asking to being given.

OP posts:
corriefan · 21/12/2009 19:28

My mum is of an older generation with children in their 20s and 30s.
She works in education, as a psychologist,
she takes my dcs shopping and feeds them all the way round.
The comments she has in the shop are all based on how well behaved the kids are and how happy they all look together!

Mshalfcut · 21/12/2009 19:29

I've done this and forgot to pay for the empty packet at the till ooops..

so shoot me

Paolosgirl · 21/12/2009 19:29

I do - happily let them snack as we go round, or have a drink of water if they are thirsty. If it has a bar code, then I give it to the cashier and pay for it. Aeons ago I worked in a supermarket - it was a regular occurence, and no biggie.

I honestly could not give a fig if anyone wants to pull a cats bum mouth over it. Far, far bigger things to worry about. Not quite sure how it's happened, but my children have managed to remain unspoilt despite it all.

babbi · 21/12/2009 19:30

My SIL was arrested and charged for this !
"Stolen goods " were red grapes and a banana for my then 3 yo niece.
Never got to trial in the end but she was still marched out of the store by 2 policemen and told by the manager she was banned from every one of the company`s supermarkets nationwide !

RainRainGoAway · 21/12/2009 19:31

Can I ask the ethics of giving my DS a snack as yet unpaid for but 'blipped' on my 'blipper' at Waitrose.

Personally, as I shop at Waitrose I tend only to let the chap feast on Blinis with caviar, followed with a swig of Moet.

thesouthsbelle · 21/12/2009 19:32

bit extreame babi - but tbh I agree has to be the bar code varity - i'd never give DS a single apple/grapes out of a packet or anything else that was weighted.

WhereYouLeftIt · 21/12/2009 19:32

Everybody commenting here that they have done this has made it clear that they do pay for the goods when they reach the checkout.

Not accusing anyone, but I'm just wondering, if this way of shopping is so common - how often do those empty barcoded packets find their way into a pocket rather than the trolley?

verytellytubby · 21/12/2009 19:32

I'd rather feed my twins food (always with a bar code so I can pay for it) and shop in peace than have them screaming and fighting all the way around. I think the noise level would bother you more than them eating a bit of bread.

verytellytubby · 21/12/2009 19:34

WhereYouLeftIt - I always pay. The checkout lady always laughs and bins my empty wrappers.

Paolosgirl · 21/12/2009 19:35

That's shoplifting WhereYouLeftIt - a totally different thread!

GooberChev · 21/12/2009 19:35

Have never done it with any of my 3, but neither do I disapprove or look down my nose at those who do.
So long as the item is payed for, tis ok.

Eve4Walle · 21/12/2009 19:36

Said it before, I'll say it again. No, I don't do this because I feel it's wrong. My kids can wait for food. We eat at a table or in a highchair, not in a trolley or the car. They can't grow up thinking it's okay to eat whetever you like when you like and if you haven't actually paid for the food before you eat it, it's theft.

HumphreyCobbler · 21/12/2009 19:37

"how often do those empty barcoded packets find their way into a pocket rather than the trolley?"

Never during my shopping trips. We always pay. Why wouldn't we? I don't steal stuff EVER.

AnnieLobeseder · 21/12/2009 19:37

Because it keeps them quiet and happy and stop people like you from tutting and giving me 'looks' because my child is screaming and misbehaving. So I'm guessing you'd be judging me either way.

Unless people are binning the wrapper and not paying, why on earth does it matter?

GhoulsAreLoud · 21/12/2009 19:37

I take my own food to the supermarket and feed it to my toddler. My toddler gets hungry, I feed her. Better than letting her scream with hunger, isn't it?

And I'm confused because one minute you don't like it because you think it's like shoplifting (which it isn't) and the next it's because you don't like children to be fed when they want to be fed.

Did you milk feed your now grown up children four hourly when they were babies btw?

TisTheSeasonToBeHully · 21/12/2009 19:38

All your children will end up on park benches nursing cans of Special Brew and sighing wistfully, "Oh, if only Mummy had made me wait for that piece of French bread/ grape/ apple.

lockets · 21/12/2009 19:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Rindercella · 21/12/2009 19:38

OP, YABU. I don't get why it bothers you - there are others in education on this thread who do not appear to give a damn nor appear to be suffering from the 'I want it now' troops you harp on about.

I always have some snacks in my bag to bribe give to DD when going round the supermarket. Because I have already paid for these items does it make giving her food if she asks for it any better than someone who gives their DC a whole baguette on the way round and then pays for it at the end?

It is really not something to get wound up about imo.

FishInMyHair · 21/12/2009 19:39

YANBU. Is it OK just because it is a child? What if I was shopping on my own and opened a packet of crisps to eat on the way round?
I don't think you should consume things in a shop until you have paid for it.
Take something in with you to keep them occupied or buy something before you start your shop.

Bonsoir · 21/12/2009 19:40

There is one shop in particular (a long way from home) where I have done this in the past - DD got hungry and the only way I could manage that was by giving her something there and then, and paying for it on the way out.

The shop in question doesn't think it in the slightest unusual that mothers resort to feeding their children in the shopping trolley, so what on earth has it got to do with random strangers?

manchestermummy · 21/12/2009 19:41

Before I had DD I would have agreed with all those who think it's wrong. But DD is 2, and what am I supposed to do when she starts a tantrum because she's hungry (must be the sight of all the food in the place!) and wants a satsuma. No, naughty child, you can't have the healthy snack that mummy is going to take out of this bag with a barcode on it.

Toddlers is as toddlers does. There's no reasoning with mine at 2.2 and try as I might to explain that she has to wait it's just not going to work. It will, probably soon, but for a quiet life I'll do anything!

HopeForTheBestExpectTheWorst · 21/12/2009 19:45

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn on request of the poster.

thesouthsbelle · 21/12/2009 19:46

where you - NEVER have I done that - mostly as DS either has the end of the bread, or he has one of somehting from a multi pack.

mamasmissionimpossible · 21/12/2009 19:48

I have given dd unpaid food once because I could see a major meltdown on the cards and once she let's rip, it is very hard to settle her. I needed food urgently and the packet of oatcakes kept her quiet for the trip. They were then paid for, but I felt guilty for doing it. I would do it again if faced with the same situation. YABU for those of us who have difficult darling children.

2kidzandi · 21/12/2009 19:48

Oh for goodness sake! What does it matter as long as they pay?

My DCs have occasionally been very thirsty and I've allowed them to sip some juice whilst we continue shopping because the store is huge and I'm no where near finishing.

Tell you what, why don't you just go and ask the parent next time. Bet you won't.