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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why parents give their children food in supermarkets when it is not yet paid for?

535 replies

purplepeony · 21/12/2009 18:50

Do you?

is your child so hungry that you have to grab a frnech stick, break bits off and feed it to them then present the empty packet at the checkout?

Are mums so disorganised that they cannot feed teir child before they shop?

Are they keen to feed (ha!) the "I want it now" mentality?

It really annoys me when I see this going on, asit means kids grow up not being able to wait one second from asking to being given.

OP posts:
FolornHope · 21/12/2009 19:11

i ONLY feed mine in supermarkets

tesco for starters, waitrsoe for main and sainsburgs for pud

TisTheSeasonToBeHully · 21/12/2009 19:12

Yep, studies have shown that if dc don't learn the principles of delayed gratification, their life chances are pretty poor.

lockets · 21/12/2009 19:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 21/12/2009 19:13

MamaVoo - just because you do something once doesn't mean they expect it every time.

My DS1 and 2 as toddlers learned very quickly that sometimes I would say yes to going on one of those rides at the supermarket (the rip of ones at 50p a ride or 3 for £1)..........and more than often I would say no.

choufleur · 21/12/2009 19:13

Not smarmy, just polite. something you obviously lack.

skidoodle · 21/12/2009 19:14

I'm not enraged. I just thought someone as poisonous as you clearly are would enjoy being taken on on your own terms and I'm at something of a loose end.

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 21/12/2009 19:14

PMSL@ FH

FolornHope · 21/12/2009 19:14

i YEARN to be locked in our waitrose overnight
would start at RHS of deli counter with rotisserie

haev it ALL planned

lockets · 21/12/2009 19:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MattBellamysMuse · 21/12/2009 19:15

Fgs not this debate yet again
well done op for being Ms Organised. Some of us aren't perfect. I've been known to drink a drink I haven't yet paid for in a supermarket if I'm really thirsty. As long as I know I have enough money to pay for it then I don't see the problem.
And the supermarket benefits if I'm not gasping thirsty because I'll stay longer and spend more.

pispirispisloveschristmas · 21/12/2009 19:16

My 19 month old dd had a piece of baguette last time we were at the supermarket, actually. Shoot me now, what a bad, shoplifting mother I am to try and stop my toddler from climbing out of the trolley by giving her a piece of bread. I should be whipped for forgetting my own snack. Of course, all 19 month olds need to learn to go hungry until the shopping's done!

pispirispisloveschristmas · 21/12/2009 19:17

People with children in their 20s have looooong forgotten what it's like to be a mother of toddlers IMO.

LittlePeanut · 21/12/2009 19:19

I don't see how giving them a bit of french bread would be more likely to create a "I want it now" atitucde, rhan giving them a snack at home? When they ask for an apple out of the fruit bowl, do you make them wait 20 minutes before giving it to them? Of course not.

As for "if it isn't paid for you don't have it" - at most restaurants you eat before paying. It's really not that strange!

MattBellamysMuse · 21/12/2009 19:20

Purplepeony, if you count that as shoplifting then I really hope you don't eat in restaurants because there you are eating the food before you've paid for it.
What a ridiculous thing to say.

megapixels · 21/12/2009 19:21

YANBU.

skidoodle · 21/12/2009 19:21

"And clearly there is only one place where the principles of delayed gratification can be taught- in the supermarket?"

Of course lockets

Millions of pounds is spent by supermarkets in laying out their produce to whet the appetite.

Where better for a toddler to be put through a trial of strength than a place that is deliberately organised to appeal to their appetites?

Learning delayed gratification has to really hurt and the younger you feel that pain the better.

piripiri that's the spirit - starve the little vermin until the clock says its lunchtime.

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 21/12/2009 19:22

well what about interest free credit stuff - blimey I had my fridge and freezer for a whole 12 months before I paid a penny for it

thesouthsbelle · 21/12/2009 19:22

I give ds the end off of the french stick - better than giving him some choclate!

tbh he eats before we leave, but it distracts him while we go around.

whatever he's eaten/picked at I always pay cash for first & wouldn't buy/do if didn't know I had the cash to cover it.

nickytwotimes · 21/12/2009 19:23

Yabu.

Giving ds a packet of spmething means I can get round the shop without a carry on. He never asks for it, I chose to give it to him. I don't carry food in ny bag becasue it would get squashed and why bother when I am going to a BLOODY FOOD SHOP anyway?!

ANd I don't give him things which need weighed, though couldn't care less if others do.

Presumably those who are smug about not giving their kids food are the parents of the pains in the arses that get under everyone else's feet?

Oh and fwiw, I was given food to eat round the supermarket as a kid. I also had severe anorexia in my teens and twenties thus disproving the theory that kids who get something to eat when they want it will later be unable to control their appetite.

Undercovasanta · 21/12/2009 19:23

OP - is it any better when you take your own snack in your opinion?

I am sometimes a bit when some kids seem to have a running buffet as they go round the supermarket, but I am definitely in favour of bribing using raisins as an incentive! I am actually quite excited that DS (9mo) can now eat them, as I forsee shopping becoming a lot simpler! (DD unfortunately has moved onto 'pick and mix' but must wait until we have paid).

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 21/12/2009 19:23

actually I think we should start even earlier on the lessons about instant gratification - as soon as they're born - no they can't have the breast/bottle as soon as they're hungry they MUST wait for at least 20 minutes - longer if it's near Christmas ) until the can have some

preggersplayspop · 21/12/2009 19:24

My parents used to do this with me when I was little and I certainly don't have a problem with an 'I want it now' attitude, in fact I am positively scrooge-like when it comes to buying things for myself - even when I can afford it I will agonise over buying something for ages. Its a bit of a stretch to link scoffing the end of a baguette in a supermarket to behavioural problems in a classroom.

wb · 21/12/2009 19:25

Oh, I do this all the time. Only rule is that food has to be of the bar coded variety and they sit nicely in the trolley to eat it. Other times they want to help with the shop - that's fine too.

If the store minds it employees are far too polite to mention it, so that's alright.

My mum used to do this with me (30+ years ago). That's probably where I got my degraded morals from.

FanjoForTheMankySocks · 21/12/2009 19:26

Why do you care what other people do with THEIR kids in the supermarket...it's not like they are taking YOUR food for their children, is it.

YABU, as are most people who post AIBUs about other people's parenting on here IMO.

jenniferturkington · 21/12/2009 19:26

Maybe it was me you saw...I often give mine crusty bread to eat. Not because they couldn't wait a bit, but because it stops the grabbing, screeching, fighting etc at least for a few isles anyway.
YABU and obviously have very little else to worry about!

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