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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why parents give their children food in supermarkets when it is not yet paid for?

535 replies

purplepeony · 21/12/2009 18:50

Do you?

is your child so hungry that you have to grab a frnech stick, break bits off and feed it to them then present the empty packet at the checkout?

Are mums so disorganised that they cannot feed teir child before they shop?

Are they keen to feed (ha!) the "I want it now" mentality?

It really annoys me when I see this going on, asit means kids grow up not being able to wait one second from asking to being given.

OP posts:
Ambi · 24/12/2009 19:21

I've not read all the thread, but I haven't done this in a shop and wouldn't ever intend to. When I used to work on the check-outs (pre children) I thought that this was incredibly cheeky handing over empty packets. My DD is fed before shopping, or I do it online.

MattBellamysMuse · 25/12/2009 00:50

Extremely of stayingsantasgirl's minions. Why don't I have minions?

StayingSantasGirl · 25/12/2009 10:46

The dses know that there will be no bread and water for them, unless they do some serious minioning to earn it - lol!

Southwind · 25/12/2009 21:59

Why, oh why....... did they shut the supermarkets today, where the hell am I gonna feed my kids now ?????

madamearcati · 26/12/2009 10:50

LOL windy !!

behonest · 26/12/2009 13:25

If you are talking about very young Children ages 2-3 yes you YABU

Anyone who has PERFECT little children will never give their child an item not paid for while going round a supermarket, they will only criticise and judge others who do. When a child is of a certain age i.e.: up to 3 years it has not yet developed that part of the brain responsible for reasoning and waiting! This is a young Childs ?I want it now? mentality phase in which it has to start learning patience. In the meantime what is wrong with an honest person giving their Child something they will pay for, that allows them to actually get the shopping done? Anyone with a 2 year old will know that in the 'real world' toddlers behave as all toddlers do. And it is occasionally called for to save the shoppers and the parent a horrible, embarrassing, stressful experience of a screaming toddler having a wobbly fighting to get out the buggy like a demonic little Monkey just because he/she does not understand the rules of Life yet. Or, that it may upset a few members of the public with unrealistic ideals of how a very young Child should behave in certain situations. Having been there and done that, as most Parents can tell you I can honestly say in that short phase of your ds/ d/d learning it is worth giving a banana or a breadstick to buy you some time. I always made sure I purchased things that could be accounted for without doubt, i.e.: a banana from a pack not loose, a rice cake etc never loose items that need weighing at checkout, not even a grape. By the time my toddler was 2.6 he understood the rules and never asked for anything hence he never eats in a shop now he waits until he gets home. It is a learning curve we all have to go through. Parenting is hard enough as it is without being judged unnecessarily over things that are insignificant, don't you think. There are more better things in Life to worry about I think.

SleighBelleDameSansMerci · 26/12/2009 13:51

Can't believe this one is still going!

Anywaaay, I took DD (2.3) to Sainsbury's for last minute shop on Tuesday. She wanted some carrots. After I'd recovered from the shock I gave her some pre-washed, peeled baby carrots from a barcoded pack. I am mentioning this because purely as a result of this thread I ate some too. We crunched our way around the shop, spent a fortune and paid for the carrots at the end.

Happy Christmas cats' bums!

behonest · 26/12/2009 17:45

On another thought, isn't it theft when you leave the premises without paying for an item! Why are there so many people up on there high horse when they don't know for a fact if their Parents did similar things or not. Even if you take your own food out of your own bag and feed it to your Toddler you will still be frowned upon as they don't know it's your food from your own bag. It's a no win situation us mere mortals so it's beat to just live your own life the best you can.

Amazoniancracker · 27/12/2009 08:05

I think all toddlers should be handed over to bouncers and chained up in a 'holding area' just inside the supermarket doors while their parents do the shopping.

This would prevent the monumental level of theft of choccie buttons, bananas and baguettes.

Supermarket profits would soar, parents could shop in peace and toddlers would make lots of new friends.

StayingSantasGirl · 27/12/2009 13:32

That sounds like a brilliant idea, Amazoniancracker - I wonder why the supermarkets haven't thought of it already? Patent the idea now, and make your fortune!

Catoutofthebag · 27/12/2009 15:22

...

cara1972 · 27/12/2009 21:10

Honestly, Is this really important?

Anything that makes trawling around a supermarket with an 18 month old, slightly easier for a frazzelled mum, should not be judged by people with frankly too much time on their hands.

I have also been known to grab a drink on a sweltering August day and pay for the empty carton at the checkout rather than drop with dehydration! Goodness, what do you say to that... shock

Unlikelyamazonian · 27/12/2009 21:28

bleurgh yes it is very important ffffffffffffs spelling error

blijemuts · 29/12/2009 12:12

YANBU,I used to work in a food shop and detest kids who wouldn't wait until things are paid for. One mum started off with a roll and when one day there weren't any,child was given a chocolate bar instead. So chocolate bar it was from then on...Either that or screaming child.Used to take a book and a drink for DC's when out shopping,allow them to choose something from the bakery which as a reward for good behaviour they could eat at home while I unpacked the shopping. Worked for all. I taught my children that unless you have paid for it it is not yours to have!

Original poster
purplepeony · 29/12/2009 12:29

blijimuts

OP posts:
MumtoCharlieandLola · 29/12/2009 12:37

Never mind feeding my kids, my nose was running the other day, so I picked up a box of tissues and opened them, before i got to the till.

Now lets have a 52 page argument about that one !

Original poster
purplepeony · 29/12/2009 12:38

If any of you have the chance, listen again to You and Yours Radio 4 today. Interesting discusssion with top psychologis ass.director of the BPS- discussing latest research into childhood behaviour, rewards, giving in to impulsivity- and longer term behavioural issues.

Evidently UK children are the most badly behaved and unhappy in the western world- his words not mine.

OP posts:
lola0109 · 29/12/2009 12:49

Haven't read the whole thread but what I have has made me laugh!

FWIW, I do this intentionally every big supermarket shop, i just think oh I'll get her a wee pack of grapes as by the time I'm going on the big shop there isn't much in the way of healthy snacks left in the house!

I also, being 26 weeks pregnant sometimes grab something to eat myself or a drink on the way round! surely the supermarket would rather you did this to pacify your child and spend longer in the store than hurrying round grabbing a few essentials as you have an irate child?

Also, my mum used to do this with the 5 of us when we were younger, my oldest brother being 32 now. Not that i remember all 5 of us being there at the one time! Now there is a thought, how in the hell did my mum do the shopping with 5 of us when I struggle with one and a bump!

motherbeyond · 29/12/2009 13:04

this is just irritating the lfe out of me!!!! stop tarring all kids with the same brush..my 3 year old and 23 month old are well behaved at all times.they would still be well behaved if i didn't let them nibble on french stick whilst i trudged aroung tesco.it is insulting that you suggest that my children could be ill behaved and unhappy and as a result of me being an ineffective parent.why?because i let them eat bread i intend to pay for? to coin an americanism..purleeeease!

LittleMoosh · 29/12/2009 16:01

Purplepoeny, it's not about not feeding your child at home. It's more to keep them amused for a while. If they're busy eating they're less likely to kick up a fuss.

Don't see the problem as long as you pay for what they've had when you get to the checkout.

I sometimes see shoppers without children helpling themselves to food without the intention of paying for it - now that is annoying! and stealing!

Original poster
purplepeony · 29/12/2009 16:10

littlemoosh- just liten to the programme I mentioned and see what is said about instant rewards, bribery and later behavioural problems.

My final word on all of this and God, am Inow sick of it, is that any child should be able to keep quiet and be taken shopping without having their mouth stuffed in order to make the behave properly.

OP posts:
duchesse · 29/12/2009 16:14

Groundhog Day OP.

LittleMoosh · 29/12/2009 16:15

Purplepeony - I didn't actually say that I give my children food when on a shopping trip, quite the contrary. Both my children are well mannered, behaved children and I have never had a problem taking them out shopping or elsewhere.

I simply don't see the problem if that's what other parents do to keep their children quiet. Perhaps you'd rather listen to screaming, moaning, unruly children?

Original poster
purplepeony · 29/12/2009 16:26

Littlemoosh- listen to the programme.

OP posts:
Original poster
purplepeony · 29/12/2009 16:30

okay- before you all start, this prog does not mention feeding kids in supermarkets with unpaid for food...or rather yet to be paid for food,

but what is does do is show that poor behaviour starts very young, and that the child controlling the parent is a very serious issue. And if you need to resort to feeding a child to get them to behave in public, that imo, is not good.

www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/youandyours/listenagain/tuesday.shtml

OP posts:
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