to wonder why parents give their children food in supermarkets when it is not yet paid for?

[purplepeony]

Do you?

is your child so hungry that you have to grab a frnech stick, break bits off and feed it to them then present the empty packet at the checkout?

Are mums so disorganised that they cannot feed teir child before they shop?

Are they keen to feed (ha!) the "I want it now" mentality?

It really annoys me when I see this going on, asit means kids grow up not being able to wait one second from asking to being given.

Oh no. How will I ever shop again knowing some provincial busybody is staring at me and my children in horror as we wend our merry way around the supermarket, baguette crumbs a-gogo?

Oh. That's right. It doesn't make the slightest difference.

A survey says:

50% of mothers and toddlers [sadly, it is mostly mothers] who try this in Sainsbury's get away with it, on production of empty sausage roll packets at the check-out

60% in Tesco's get escorted to the door by large security guards

70% going to Waitrose are too busy trying to find a mother and toddler parking space to even get in there and try it

80% in the Co-op just feel claustrophobic

90% of people can't spell Aldee

100% of people use shops!

Merry Christmas!

The only thing I get judgey about is things that are harming the child. Nothing else is any of my business, as a human I have a responsibility to care about those not able to look after themselves.

Parents swearing or shouting or hitting children - I judge.
HCPs failing parents and children - I judge.
Parents going about their business with their happy children - I smile and carry on.

Being judgey is just a defence really isn't it.

There was a woman at school one morning about a year ago, when we were new, standing there with her maybe yr4/5 daughter.

I tend to cast around and smile at anyone who might respond. No cigar with this one...she just stared,and stared, at everyone in turn, and started to take NOTES in her little book

I do not know what she was writing, or indeed why. But she has never smiled at anyone as far as I have seen. I did see her speaking to another person once, but usually she is kind of leaning in towards her daughter and whispering.

Turns out she is a dinner lady, she also does knitting club but i have seen her 'doing' knitting club and she sits in a corner, knitting, and casting suspicious glances at everyone else in the room...hope she isn't the only one there tbh. I think she only attends in order to judge.

She is Mrs Judgey and it is because she doesn't want to have to have any friends, it's too difficult (I can relate to that) so she strikes everyone who does not pass muster, off her little list, and it leaves her very alone sadly.

I strike very few off my list, virtual though it might be, I tend not to judge. I just avoid people in other ways!

But heck do I dislike Mrs Judgey. Some child wanted to get past her in church the other day and she could barely bring herself to move her knee a few inches, she was holding her breath as she did it, silently. Oooh she was cross.

What's your point, flight? All you've done is ascribe motivation to someone who knits and writes and looks oddly (in your opinion) at others.

You say you "tend not to judge" and then not only do you judge, but name her as Mrs Judgey, saying she doesn't want to have any friends- have you asked her? How do you know this? Have you asked her about the "list" you describe? How is she "sadly" alone? You don't know what she was writing or why? You "think" she only attends "in order to judge".

This person might be OK, but you've just written her off, and your account makes it all her fault, though most of it is your imagining, rather than reality.

Wow Flight, she sounds seriously unpleasant. And she has children so some fool must have had Sexual Relations with her.

Echt, what a load of nonsense.

Echt I am aware of the irony of my post. Yes, I am judging her to be judgey. I only said I 'tend' not to judge people. Not that I never do. When presented with overwhelming evidence of extreme unfriendliness during observations carried out over an entire year, I am liable to conclude that yes, this person is unfriendly...and I suspect very, very judgey. The rest you may well ascribe to my imagination.

Oh Gosh - you're her aren't you?

Matt - analyse, don't dismiss. If you want to be taken seriously that is.

Flight - so it's ironic now. .

Your last observation is low and not what I would expect from a thread on MN, as it is personally abusive.

Flight, just be careful with that kind of judgement. I once thought something similar about a mum in our school and it turned out she has MS and physically cannot smile or look pleasant. To this day I am still beating myself up for having "juged" her.

Saying that it is somehow different when you have to answer to someone who is actually judgig your act without knowing all the facts. In that case it is perfectly normal to send a bit of judginess back their way

Sorry what?

How very, very odd.

Apologies Gor, that wasn't to you - cross posts.

No problem Flight, I am prone to x posting myself

Gorionine,

I understand what you are saying. It's possible this person is unable to smile at me, alone - she smiles at her daughter, I should have mentioned that.

I am applying my own fantasy to the scenario, it was early this morning and I don't know her - it's possible she is very nice and I am a beeatch and she hates me with good cause. But my perception of it is not that.

Anyway...apologies to everyone, including Echt, whom I am sure will not appreciate being told that I was attempting humour in my last post - I'm not allowed irony, probably not humour either.

Perhaps I ought to stop.

Sorry echt, was going to post properly but was called away by a small boy. I meant that suggesting the woman's unpleasantness was all in Flight's imagination was nonsense. Some people really are unpleasant.

Still reeling here from the allegation of 'personal abuse'

Someone please tell me that's outrageous?

Thanks for your support MBM

When ds was a toddler, I did give him grub in the supermarket once or twice - but only things with barcodes. However, he did seem to be a shoplifter in training - once half-inched a whole tray of chewing gum off the cigarette counter while I was paying for my five items or fewer. I didn't notice until we were half way home and I glanced down at the buggy to see it held proudly on his lap!

Had wondered why people walking in the opposite direction were looking at me a bit oddly. He hadn't opened anything - worst aspect is I don't even like chewing gum.

Another time he nicked a tomato and stuffed it in before I could stop him. I explained at the till, and the young lad looked at me a bit funny and said 'I think Sainsbury's can afford one tomato'.

Flight

Of course the accusation is outrageous.

This thread has been marred by thin skins.

As my dear old mum used to say, don't dish it out if you can't take it back. A few people on here seem not to have the same dear old mum as me ...

Thankyou Miflaw. I have eben going crazy for the last hour wondering how many of my thousands of posts have also, unbeknown to me, contained personal attacks which were neither intended nor pointed out at the time.

It was supposed to be a joke! Sometimes I really question my sanity on here.

Perhaps someone thought that suggesting Echt was the lady from school you so dislike, constituted a personal attack.

You probably had tongue firmly in cheek, but it isn't always easy to discern that via the bald written word. This is why I tend to use a if speaking in jest.

No,I can see that, which is why I apologised. I just hope MNHQ doesn't see fit to delete that post too...seems a bit extreme.

Extreme Mumsnetting - sounds like a new sport, Flightattendant!

Now - who's going to kick me off here so I can get ready for the party here that starts in 61 minutes?

Have a lovely time...now SHOO!!!

Yes, Ma'am!!