to wonder why parents give their children food in supermarkets when it is not yet paid for?

[purplepeony]

Do you?

is your child so hungry that you have to grab a frnech stick, break bits off and feed it to them then present the empty packet at the checkout?

Are mums so disorganised that they cannot feed teir child before they shop?

Are they keen to feed (ha!) the "I want it now" mentality?

It really annoys me when I see this going on, asit means kids grow up not being able to wait one second from asking to being given.

FA says This is why I do it. If i hadn't fed him something to keep him going, he would doubtless have made it hell for everyone at the checkout, but he didn't feel bad enough because he'd been fed

So this is why- I was right all along! it is to pacify children who don't understand the word "no".

I wonder how much of this feeding on demand/to pacify etc is contributing to the very real child hood obesity problem?

"Comfort feeding" & eating starts young. I doubt if any of these children are really hungry- it's just a means of shutting them up.

No problem with anyone feeding their kids outside, if they are genuinely hungry rather than just being naughty, but wait til you have paid forit and don't give in to instant demadns and potential tantrums- you are making a rod for your own backs.

I am so glad my post has created such furore- it takes my mind off the Christams preparations.

stayingsanta- thanks for your support.

I see we think alike even if many of the others here don't.

For me, it's a combination of morals- the food is not yours til you have paid for it.

The first time I saw a parent do this I was horrified.....my gut instinct was to say "But you haven't paid for that !"

Your child is not going to starve to death if you have to wait til you get to the checkout.

If you anticipate your child being hungry and fractious then take something with you- your own banana or whatever.

If you give in to every demand immediately then your child will quickly learn that all they have to do is scream and they'll get a sticky bun or a French stick shoved at them. Or more pocket money, or whatever they want as they grow older.

(It's called conditioning.)

You will also teach them that anger and unhappiness , control over people, and not getting what they want can be asuaged by sweet foods- great for obesity and ED in later life.

Above all, it sends the message that DC is in charge - not you.

and for those of you who said you couldn't afford a £5 to shop online, well many supermarkets do free delivery .

Now I really must get on with Xmas preparations. I don't care about all the flaming- it's nice to have a jolly debate- and at least I haven't resorted to personal nastiness - I have argued the point which is what you all should be doing- not making comments about my class, age, etc etc- which are all assumed by you anyway- you haven't any idea who I am.

This sort of thing makes my blood boil.

I can afford to shop online PP but going shopping is one occasion to get out of the house I do not like to miss!

I agree with you about personal attack but if you read your own Op again, you will see that you made (and still are now making) a lot of assumptions yourself! How do you know for example that the parents gave in a the first request of their LO? Do you follow a particular family while shopping to "observe" exactly how things have happened?

You have no more idea what people are going through than they do about you!

I agree Hully. Its a national disgrace. Next thing you know these wanton children will be on Jeremy Kyle taking paternity tests and shirking any form of employment.

I say, for parents to give into a childs baguette begging ways now is to store up problems that will rival the issues of world hunger, climate change and tensions in the middle east.

I am off now to continue with my Christmas preparations by giving my toddler a Ginsters whilst cruising the aisles of Aldi.

Purple - you do make me laugh. Honestly.

As I said, I did it with my dc when they were very small. They have grown up into children who need only one word. 'no' - when they ask for sweets, toys whatever if they are out. They do not expect their demands to be met instantly. Sorry to disprove your theory.

Very small children find supermarket shopping boring. Many mothers find it hard work and stressful, especially with little ones in tow. If the shop doesn't mind - and they're the ones with legal title over the goods, not you - then what business is it of yours, exactly?

By purplepeony Wed 23-Dec-09 09:07:29
FA says This is why I do it. If i hadn't fed him something to keep him going, he would doubtless have made it hell for everyone at the checkout, but he didn't feel bad enough because he'd been fed

So this is why- I was right all along! it is to pacify children who don't understand the word "no".

_

How did you deduce that? It's totally untrue. It was to stabilise his blood sugar levels, a physical need, nothing to do with the word 'no'. He didn't even ask for the biscuit.

_

'I wonder how much of this feeding on demand/to pacify etc is contributing to the very real child hood obesity problem?'

So you do have a problem with feeding on demand, whatever age the child - even a baby? Have that little argument on the feeding boards, you'll meet with a bit of research to counter your beliefs.

_

"Comfort feeding" & eating starts young. I doubt if any of these children are really hungry- it's just a means of shutting them up.'

That's just nonsense and very offensive to me as a caring parent. If I want them to shut up I just shout at them, it's cheaper.

___

'No problem with anyone feeding their kids outside, if they are genuinely hungry rather than just being naughty, but wait til you have paid forit and don't give in to instant demadns and potential tantrums- you are making a rod for your own backs.'

Oh dear.

Look, PP, you've said you are over 50 so that's how we know your age, and presume you do not still have young children as it would be very unusual if you did. (of course I may be wrong)

I'm not convinced you're actually genuine at all using such cliched arguments as you do. If you're a troll it's just not funny.

Supermarkets only deliver free if you spend over £75.

And do NOT try to talk to me about eating disorders, unless you have personal experience of such, because I do, and it isn't anything to do with being fed on demand. What a load of nonsense.

It's funny how much you have managed to upset numerous nice, good parents on this thread despite according to you, not being 'offensive or personal'.

Very clever, PP. I'm very glad you're not involved in the education of my children, as I would have to do a lot of counter educating outside school hours if you were.

I think you're just an older woman who is very entrenched in her views, and is glad of a minority group of supporters among the mothers on here.

I'm not going to argue with you any further as it is evidently a waste of my time.

Written by PurplePeony: "If you give in to every demand immediately then your child will quickly learn that all they have to do is scream and they'll get a sticky bun or a French stick shoved at them. Or more pocket money, or whatever they want as they grow older.

(It's called conditioning.)"

Have you actually done scientific research into this? Because mine were fed many times in the trolley and, shock, they haven't turned into spoiled brats who expect to get what they want immediately.

How do you explain that?

Mine neither MBM...but I doubt OP even wants to consider she might be mistaken, wrong or just plain bigoted about the whole issue.

I give up - my children are calling...

Flightattendant I really ROTFL @ this ""That's just nonsense and very offensive to me as a caring parent. If I want them to shut up I just shout at them, it's cheaper.""

Your post (all of it) makes a lot of sense to me!

lol at Flight - 'That's just nonsense and very offensive to me as a caring parent. If I want them to shut up I just shout at them, it's cheaper.'

Purple: I had £250 worth of food delivered by Tesco yesterday and still had to pay £5 delivery. When my dc were very small then a trip to the outside world was very welcome to me, as a SAHM.

Re the obesity theory - both my dc are well within their BMI ranges. I can see all of ds's ribs, despite his having munched his way through many packets of organic cheese on our supermarket trips.

Really you have absolutely no evidence for your views and are just making yourself look quite ridiculous by stating them.

Am I the only one that found that last post by purplepeony hilarious then? Would love to see the research paper... 'the cause of unhappy, demanding children and childhood obesity is (drum roll)...feeding children not-yet-paid-for food in supermarkets.' Curious that food brought from home doesn't have the same effect, maybe it's moral high ground counteracts the negative effects?

Opinion without supporting facts equals bias, by the way.

its moral high ground. Sorry

Yes, wb, clearly it is the unpaid for food that does it. rofl

So you are supposed to feed the children even when you are not shopping then?

It's a wind up, isn't it, purple?

Please say yes - I always thought you were quite sane before this...

I have exploded.

wow - this thread is still going!! i feel the need to apologise for my earlier flippant post - i assumed the OP had created a joke thread, rather than that she would seriously have nothing better to get het up about...

ok then, taking it seriously, yes, i would do this. dd is only 9 months and still entertained by looking at everything from the trolley or sling, but i feed on demand, including bf to sleep and BLW (rod for own back? what a novel and never-yet-heard phrase! ), dd knows when she is hungry (yes, even at 9 months) and if she indicated that she needed food i would offer her something that was barcoded. i wouldn't bring my own because i frankly have enough to carry and don't want to have to explain that yes, i brought it with me and no, i'm not paying for it a second time.

and (sling me in the chokey for this one ) i have done it myself when my blood sugar has dropped to the shaking/dark vision stage.

i'm not saying anything new here, so many ladies have said the same as me. what i don't get is that if the stores don't mind why the hell should you, OP, and surely it's not shoplifting unless you take it out of the shop?

I believe the technical definition of shoplifting is that it happens once the goods have passed the last available till point without being paid for.

All our cheese bits and organix crisps were paid for at the till: they were just in my dc's digestive tract at the time

OP - are you against on demand feeding in general then? bf too?

I can understand why you might be - ladies of your generation believed that babies should be fed on a strict rota and left to cry until the allotted feeding time.

Strangely enough, the world has moved on since then....

wb, unpaid for food is more calorific. Surely you knew this?

oh yes, the routine idea. i had forgotten that i was breeding a clingy, sleepless, routine-free mummy's girl who will still be calling for "bitty" when home from university - i am clearly now going to have to add thieving obese delinquent to that too.

ho hum.

Bella, that's right, you don't see many security guards apprehending people on the shop floor before they've even got to the tills.

Lol at 'bitty' catastrojb

What dc who are fed unpaid-for food in supermarkets turn into:

here