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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why parents give their children food in supermarkets when it is not yet paid for?

535 replies

purplepeony · 21/12/2009 18:50

Do you?

is your child so hungry that you have to grab a frnech stick, break bits off and feed it to them then present the empty packet at the checkout?

Are mums so disorganised that they cannot feed teir child before they shop?

Are they keen to feed (ha!) the "I want it now" mentality?

It really annoys me when I see this going on, asit means kids grow up not being able to wait one second from asking to being given.

OP posts:
2kidzandi · 22/12/2009 00:07

carocaro allowiing your 18 month old to steal is one thing, but forcing pingu to asssist is unforgivable

FluffyForLifeNotJustForXmas · 22/12/2009 00:18

I have a suggestion for you all:

Stop shopping if delightful child needs nibbles, grab an apple, take it to the 5 items or less check out, pay for apple, keep reciept then continue shopping. hey presto, no problems!!

tigerbear · 22/12/2009 00:19

YANBU - I don't understand this either - whether the shops don't see it as shop lifting or not, I just find it a bit odd to see people wandering around the supermarket eating stuff they haven't paid for yet. I would prob judge someone doing this, and see it as a bit common.

BitOfFunderthemistletoe · 22/12/2009 00:44

Lolol at hullygully and tethersend

I can't believe I am the first to say this, but why has purplepeony not specified "UTGSN"?

My nine year old autistic dd needs a good old french stick to cope with Tesco, and if it bothers anybody else, they can stick it up there arse, frankly, or at least look after her during the meltdown while I do the shopping.

Top feckin trumps!!

PrincessFiorimonde · 22/12/2009 00:48

Sadly, this is not just a generational thing.

I first came across this frankly abhorrational behaviour in about 1980 when my dysfunctional father got so bored in a branch of Holland & Barrett that he picked up a bag of nuts and raisins which he proceeded to eat in a totally insouciant fashion.

He then had the cheek to pay for the empty bag at the checkout.

As the years unfolded, Dad would often munch on a bag of Cheesy Wotsits or Golden Wonder crisps before presenting the empty bag at the checkout of Beejam's/Woolworth's/some other downmarket store that no longer exists. And then he would pay for it!

He became common as muck.

Fortunately, I have written a book about this searing experience - 'My Life with a Downmarket Crisp-Eating Dad' - which lays clear how appalling this was. (Available from all good bookstores!)

Please ignore Hully (she is in denial) and Tethers (she is from the dark side).

BitOfFunderthemistletoe · 22/12/2009 00:50

Princess, how awful for you

We are all here for you.

Taramuddle · 22/12/2009 00:57

Oh princess how truely awful, your story has brought a tear to my eye! You are a survivor, stay strong.

Taramuddle · 22/12/2009 00:58

Oh princess how truely awful, your story has brought a tear to my eye! You are a survivor, stay strong.

confuddledDOTcom · 22/12/2009 01:14

I'm sure I'll regret asking, what is UTGSN?

I don't know where some people shopped as children but we shopped at a rather large ASDA and a few other similar supermarkets. My parents would give us a packet of crisps and a drink to get through the shop and would pay for it too. I now do the same. I also occasionally have a drink when I'm shopping - I have mobility problems, am autoimmune and breastfeeding, I do get thirsty quickly and I'm not going to explain why I'm not buying something and try to convince someone I already did.

My brother is a manager at Tesco and the stories we hear back, this thread has been a day in the life, nothing special. There is one story of a mother who's, after paying for her shopping, son "had an accident" over the entire shop. She had an assitant replace everything in the trolley and of course everything had to be binned.

PrincessFiorimonde · 22/12/2009 01:15

Thank you, BitOfFun and Taramuddle.

I bite my lip, but Life as a Misery-Memoirist must go on!

BitOfFunderthemistletoe · 22/12/2009 01:23

You wrote this, didn't you?

FluffyForLifeNotJustForXmas · 22/12/2009 01:26

Bloody hell BitIfFun, it's bloody depressing. I may go and swallow a handful of pills after reading that (joke).

PrincessFiorimonde · 22/12/2009 01:37

No, BOF, it's just not awful enough to fit my whole story!

I was born in a hedge, raised by robins, scratched to hell by holly (who was she?), had 57 siblings, all of whom my mother loved more that me ...

And then got flamed on MN for not taking things seriously.

Happy Christmas!

BitOfFunderthemistletoe · 22/12/2009 02:21

You are so selfless. Happy Christmas to you too- I hope you manage to keep your chin up

CarmenTinselPalmTreesSanDiego · 22/12/2009 05:46

Hah, don't visit America, OP. If you walk round a grocery store here, you're inundated with samples - cheese, cake, little cups of drink. Trader Joe's has a counter serving hot samples.

The 'my children don't eat anywhere except at the kitchen table' snobbery is hilarious. You don't have a hot dog at the fair or popcorn at the cinema?

SleighBelleDameSansMerci · 22/12/2009 07:10

LOL at occasionally letting my child eat something in a supermarket being common... Do you know who I am? Oh, no you don't. Hey ho.

Allets · 22/12/2009 07:31

Haven't bothered with the entire thread.

To the OP - get over yourself.

By the time I reach the shops my day has run something like this:

  1. get up at 5am
  2. tidy house
  3. prepared packed lunches
  4. organised uniform and clothes for 3 kids
  5. get kids out of bed
  6. drop kids at daycare and nursery
  7. drive to work
  8. work a full day
  9. leave work, run like a mad woman, collect kids from daycare and school
10. head to shops for groceries 11. OH NO guess what - the kids are hungry.

Now of course, I am going to instruct to them to start because my poor organisational skills meant that I didn't have time get to get home and feed them a three course meal before heading out to the shops.

Arrrrrghhhhhhh....

What a pile of crap!

Allets · 22/12/2009 07:34

To "starve", rather than "start"

This thread has me so irritated with it's holier than thouness I didnt check my contribution before hitting the post button.

motherbeyond · 22/12/2009 07:51

god almighty,what a busy body you are!!!!

because you work in education,it's your business?i think not!my parents are both high up in the education authority,having both been head teachers,and i can honestly say,neither of them are clenched so tight as to give a monkeys about what a kid in a trolley is doing!

jesus,we can't win!let them scream,get judged.keep them quiet,get judged!

i have two under 3 and a half next to each other in the trolley.i know that any snack i give them will be gone by the time i get round the supermarket,so i give them some french stick,takes them ages to eat it and keeps them quiet..i give the bag and probably half of french stick to the cashier and pay for it.

is that ok with you?is it?oh,i hope so.i would really hate you to think badly of me (face?bovvered?!)

TisTheSeasonToBeHully · 22/12/2009 07:54

That Princess is a big old liar.

LesbianMummy1 · 22/12/2009 08:22

Oh no I am going to hell when ds2 was about 14 months old the normal shop we bought his specialist milk from as he is dairy and soya intolerant had sold out as had 4 other shops so we went to a supermarket to buy it and I gave him a cup full in the trolley cause he was meant to have at least a pint a day and he had had none for 2 days and was tearful and niggly I paid at the end of shopping but I must burn in hell for it surely

WynkenBlynkenandNod · 22/12/2009 08:36

I used to work for a university, good solid one, not one of those newfangled ones, does that count as education?

The DC's got barcoded things when they were toddlers but don't now they are older as they are perfectly capable of waiting.

I'd much rather see someone do this then watch the fallout ie. toddler tantrum, which are a pain for everyone I listen to and very embarrassing for the parent. Bit of a no brainer as far as I'm concerned as long as there is a barcode to be scanned.

When I was a child I spent a lot of time in Germany and have fond memories of trips to the sausage shop and the bits of wurst they always dished out to me and my brother.

The problem the OP has is PMFS (parental Memory Failure Syndrome which occurs in parents as they get older. It leaves them unable to remember in detail what life is like with a child at various developmental states and gives a false memory if what age milestones are reached, which is why the older generation claim we were all potty trained by 9 months.

Original poster
purplepeony · 22/12/2009 09:02

WOW! Who would have thought this would provoke such a response! Lots of very defensive people out there aren't there!

I have no objection to anyone giving their kids food on the street ( or in a shop) per se - if it's their food to give and that child needs to eat between meals.

What I do think is wrong is giving your child food that you haven't paid for, as if they can't wait a few minutes until it's gone through the checkout.

Call me old fashioned, call me what you like, I don't really care- but my moral compass just says it's wrong.

and if supermarket shopping is such an ordeal, do it online or do it when you can find someone else to look after the children- many supermarkets are open 12 hours or even 24 hours a day.

OP posts:
miumiu · 22/12/2009 09:07

Cheese strings or crappo ham not ok
organic baguette or ham where pig's first name and that of his grandparents on packet ok

Have you nothing better to worry about?

ChrisMissWooWoo · 22/12/2009 09:12

All the time. Without fail. Otherwise shopping with a toddler is a NIGHTMARE.

Before I had dd I always said "oh, I'll never be one of those mothers who placates their children with food in the supermarket"

It works for us. We pay for the food. It's fine.

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