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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why parents give their children food in supermarkets when it is not yet paid for?

535 replies

purplepeony · 21/12/2009 18:50

Do you?

is your child so hungry that you have to grab a frnech stick, break bits off and feed it to them then present the empty packet at the checkout?

Are mums so disorganised that they cannot feed teir child before they shop?

Are they keen to feed (ha!) the "I want it now" mentality?

It really annoys me when I see this going on, asit means kids grow up not being able to wait one second from asking to being given.

OP posts:
TisTheSeasonToBeHully · 21/12/2009 22:41

It makes me SO ANGRY.

VinegarTinselTits · 21/12/2009 22:42

op i think you have forgotten how difficult shopping with a toddler can be

i did this with my ds1 (now 20) when he was a toddler, my ds2 is 3, we went shopping this afternoon, went to the deli counter and got olives and cocktail sausages, he insisted on holding them, i said no and all hell broke loose, i picked up some grapes and he grabbed them and started tucking in, hell, i wasn't going to stop him for love nor money, he i raced around and got out of there quick!

he wasnt hungry btw, he was fecking BORED, YABU, get over yourself, times havent changed, you just have a short memory

sanfairyann · 21/12/2009 22:42

we do this. couldn't give a flying feck what anyone else thinks and pmsl at the thought of anyone trying to tell us off for it. we pay for it at the end. makes no difference to anyone. who cares at planet tesco - noone is who

tethersjinglebellend · 21/12/2009 22:46

"It makes me SO ANGRY"

Hully, people like you make me sick.

SleighBelleDameSansMerci · 21/12/2009 22:51

Well, I used to feel guilty about occasionally letting my "brat" (!) have something to eat when we shop but now I know how much it pisses people off I'm going to do it EVERY TIME. Even if I have to force feed her.

thesteelfairy · 21/12/2009 22:52

I had an elderly woman make a comment along the same lines as the op to me when I gave my dc a carton of apple juice each as we walked round tesco.

My response?

"Mind your own business!" repeated to infinity and beyond.

MollieO · 21/12/2009 22:55

I always feed ds in a supermarket. It saves on the washing up .

MillyR · 21/12/2009 22:56

I didn't know this was a behaviour that people were going to look upon with disdain. Not only do I let the kids eat things walking around, sometimes I do it too.

I suppose I do have an 'I want it now' mentality, but I think that mentality is fine if your wants in life don't go further than a bit of baguette. It isn't as if I'm handing them out diamond necklaces and sportscars.

nighbynight · 21/12/2009 22:57

OP - get off your high horse. Young children can't wait. Do you also think that they should go to the loo once before they go out shopping as well???

My children ate in the supermarket when they were toddlers. They don't now, because they are older. I bet you would be the first to complain about slack mums allowing bad behaviour if a hungry toddler was grizzling and yelling.

sanfairyann · 21/12/2009 22:58

ooh yes, esp if the baguette is warm and fresh out the oven. what kind if idiot would let it go cold just to keep up appearances

JoInScotland · 21/12/2009 23:02

everlong

I don't see a real problem with giving a child something that comes with a barcode and can be scanned later (though I don't do it myself). Detectives are on the lookout for folks who don't intend to pay, so would have to watch you and see if you tried to leave the store without paying. Of course the majority of shoppers do pay, so it's not really worth following a mum & toddler round about one empty packet. The detectives are more likely watching potential shoplifters of the big ticket items like alcohol and razor blades (a big favourite of thieves).

Also, it was in the news about a year ago (?) that Asda I think would only pursue thieves who took goods worth more than £10 in value. In reality, this is the practice of most stores out there, including Tesco's. Why? It would never get to court. It would be a waste of the store's time, the court's time and it would cost more than £10 to run a trial, so the whole thing would be a waste of taxpayers' time. That is the reality of the legal system - not only is 1) a crime committed? but 2) is it in the public interest to pursue this case? has to be considered. Therefore, a packet of stolen Wotsits is generally not pursued.

In addition, if you can leg it out of the shop and the store detective hasn't nabbed you, you are soon off their property... they aren't likely to chase you down the street.

One last thing - in the relatively large Tesco I worked in, there were 42 security cameras, and only one operator. How many screens can you watch at once? They're not watching the ones over the grapes, they'll be watching the ones near the videos, alcohol and makeup. (Big ticket items or small but expensive things).

hairymelons · 21/12/2009 23:09

Why do you care?

Original poster
purplepeony · 21/12/2009 23:15

well, I stand by my original post.

I would never have done it and don't think it is right- I think there are a few people who agree with me- in a supermarket, IMO, the food is not yours to eat or give to your children until you have paid for it.

Call it being disorganised- so your kids are hungry when you go out, call it a substitute dummy to shut them up- instead of making conversation perhaps?- make any excuses you want, but it is sending the wrong message- ie make a fuss, grizzle, be badly behaved, and you get what you want. And my children were not saints- my son had ADHD so try shopping with that.

OP posts:
PictureThis · 21/12/2009 23:20

I have to say that personally I don't let DD eat anything out of the trolley before paying for it. I do usually have snacks in my bag for her though. I have no problem with other people doing, just don't do it myself.

sanfairyann · 21/12/2009 23:23

nah you've got it all wrong purplepeony - we do it cos we like it. doesn't shut them up sadly, they could perfectly well wait if they had to, we just all like eating a bit of fresh baguette. and tbh also like to be a tiny weeny bit anti-establishment. I like to think my children are protestors rather than conformers of the future rofl

fabhead · 21/12/2009 23:26

what does it matter as long as you pay for it at the end?

TBH, food is a good distraction and after being accused of shoplifting a packet of organix biscuits in Tesco that I specifically bought into the shop with me for this purpose, I tend to use parts of my shopping now and then just pay for it at the end.

You pick your battles.

MillyR · 21/12/2009 23:27

I don't give food as a reward or a distraction; we just eat in the supermarket because it makes shopping a bit more fun.

hairymelons · 21/12/2009 23:29

Purplepeony, I stand by mine. With everything that is going on in this world, why do you care?
And it is ludicrous to expect a toddler to have self-control. We have to teach them this skill of course but it takes a long time. Instant gratification and toddlerhood go hand in hand.

Sn0wflake · 21/12/2009 23:33

I really couldn't give a stuff about this. Hasn't the OP got better things to think about. Blimey.

carocaro · 21/12/2009 23:38

Where's your certificate/award/knighthood PP?

You know the one for PERFECT MOTHER/VICTOR MELDREW award of the year?

You must have one, yes?

You are going to buy the bread, no one will die as a result of a child eating a bit of bread, the world will continue to turn.

You are also bound to be the same person who will tut and moan at a child in a supermaket who is upset and making a noise?

How can we win with the likes of you in this world?

Easily, thanks very much.

I am going to take a gas camping stove with me next time and knock up sausage and chips for my children to munch on the next time I go shopping, just to piss you off.

Lotster · 21/12/2009 23:41

Groundhog thread!

carocaro · 21/12/2009 23:41

And................

my son once lifted a bag of tangerines from Sainsbury's in Putney in 2003 and I could not be arsed to take them back. He was 18 months and they were hidden under his Pingu.

COme on hit me, what do you feel about that?

seasalt · 21/12/2009 23:45

LOL at SleighBelle and Mollie O

GreensElves · 21/12/2009 23:54

I concur broadly with Hully

tethersjinglebellend · 22/12/2009 00:05
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