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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why parents give their children food in supermarkets when it is not yet paid for?

535 replies

purplepeony · 21/12/2009 18:50

Do you?

is your child so hungry that you have to grab a frnech stick, break bits off and feed it to them then present the empty packet at the checkout?

Are mums so disorganised that they cannot feed teir child before they shop?

Are they keen to feed (ha!) the "I want it now" mentality?

It really annoys me when I see this going on, asit means kids grow up not being able to wait one second from asking to being given.

OP posts:
fragola · 22/12/2009 09:16

No matter how much ds screamed, I just couldn't bring myself to do this, it would just feel so..... wrong! Maybe I have some repressed issues.

LesbianMummy1 · 22/12/2009 09:20

off to go shopping will be sure to ply my children with food the whole way round if it make s my life easier purplepeony hope you won't be waiting to stone me on the way out of the shop for giving my dc's some bread will make sure I wear full body armour just in case

CirrhosisByTheSea · 22/12/2009 09:23

I don't think it's repressed issues frag - I think what you have is some class

CarmenTinselPalmTreesSanDiego · 22/12/2009 09:28

But purplepeony, you haven't answered what's wrong about it. In restaurants you eat the food before you've paid. And the supermarkets don't care if you do this so long as you pay. So why is it wrong? Is buying on credit cards wrong?

lorrycat · 22/12/2009 09:35

I wonder which you prefer to see:

  1. Me feeding my son a few grapes and him sitting like a little darling in the trolley happily munching on a healthy snack whilst i treck round the supermarket to get my food.

or...

  1. my son screaming like a maniac trying to climb from the trolly as i desperately try to restrain him whilst grabbing for various items to throw in the trolley.

After all, if you were a toddler, would you like to be strapped into a huge metal thing and made sit there for the best part of an hour whilst mum lift all these colourful packages from shelves that you cannot touch?

And it's not that he has an 'i want it now attitude'. Its because he is 17mo and simply doesn't understand, so what harm is there in trying to make the experience as stress-free for EVERYONE as possible.

It's not like its your food afterall!!!! If the supermarket doesn't have a problem, why should you?

saadia · 22/12/2009 09:38

OP, FWIW YANBU IMO - l also think it's wrong - loads of us with young children do manage to get our shopping done without the dcs needing treats so it just bemuses me when I see it - btw my dss are not angels - ds2 was once caught licking a roll in Waitrose .

SofaQueen · 22/12/2009 09:48

Why does anyone get so upset about someone else giving their child something from a packet they will be purchasing? To say that it doesn't jive with your moral compass is implying that you are sneering down your nose at all the moral degenerates who are doing this.

I have done this occasionally with my toddler (who has the most shocking meltdowns). I sometimes give him a brioche from the packet of 8 which is in my trolly and always paid for afterwards. Never more, and nothing else. It prevents him from going into meltdown mode. One time, in the early days, I refused to give him anything, and a woman came up to me and gave him something from HER trolly just to shut him up! Other times, the shopowner (in a small local deli) gave him something to quiet him. The last 2 are probably worse because I didn't pay for either of those things. Tsk, Tsk, Tsk.

ihatetinselbob · 22/12/2009 10:00

it really annoys me too because it's stealing! until the food is paid for it's not yours to give away.
some people don't even bother to pay for it, they leave the empty package on the shelf or put it in their pocket.
if your child can't cope with going round the shop without eating, take something with you.

PrincessFiorimonde · 22/12/2009 10:06

Hully: who are you calling old???

OP: YANBU. Am that so many people here have given you a hard time.

pooexplosionsonthedustyroad · 22/12/2009 10:08

So what if your moral compass says its wrong? Mine doesn't, and more importantly, the manager of my local supermarket agrees with me, the food is paid for, it actually increases their profits, so what exactly has it got to do with you, Mrs Judgeypants?

Of all the things to get worked up about, toddlers "stealing" (even when you pay for it, apparently ) from Tesco, who take in billions per year. We're bringing society to its knees, ain't we? [fmm]

PS, if your toddler doesn't have a "wantitnow" attitude, they have't read the job description properly!

trice · 22/12/2009 10:18

I have fed toddlers in the trolley, if you pay for it it isn't stealing.

CarmenTinselPalmTreesSanDiego · 22/12/2009 10:20

It's not stealing! You haven't left the shop and you intend to pay.

Madness. Is getting a mortgage stealing?

How is it 'classy' to sample something at the cheese counter, yet to let your child nibble a piece of bread is shockingly common?

I don't generally do this, but I don't see anything wrong with it at all, whatever your weird 'moral compasses' say. The only people who can call it wrong are the shop management, who oddly don't mind (and some of them actively encourage it!)

ooojimaflip · 22/12/2009 10:25

I haven't read the thread and I don't intend to. Anyone who is not saying YABU for being at the supermarket with a child in the first place is wrong. You should do it all online innit.

(Joking aside we actually haven't been to a supermarket for about 8 months. This is one of the best things about modern life.)

pooexplosionsonthedustyroad · 22/12/2009 10:28

can't do online shopping...no "reduced to clear" section that half of my stuff comes from!

ooojimaflip · 22/12/2009 10:30

Poo - there is clearly a gap in the market then.

TheWorldFamousKewcumber · 22/12/2009 10:33

I can understand it irritating you but surely if your irritation threshold is so low so many things must irritate you that your blood pressure must be through the roof.

It would irritate me if the parent didn't pay for it, but, having grown up in a shop I can tell you that shopkeepers really don't care two hoots provided it is paid for.

I have been known to open a bottle and drink it myself becasue I'm desparately thirsty then pay for it.

Personally I never notice much of what other people are doing in supermarkets... unless thier toddlers are screaming because they're bored!

santasmagicnappysack · 22/12/2009 10:37

YABU. It distracts little toddlers so that you can get on with the shopping.

Now when my DH wants to eat a little snack to keep him entertained while we're shopping, that's a different story...

Flightattendant · 22/12/2009 10:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

confused7 · 22/12/2009 10:59

Do you pay for your food in a restaurant before you eat it?!
How ridiculous! I feed both babies to allow as stress free a shopping experience as possible. You are being unreasonable.

PrincessFiorimonde · 22/12/2009 11:01

Erm.

OP, maybe YABU.

Or maybe YANBU.

Either way, let's all shake hands or kissy kissy and make up.

displayuntiltwelfthnight · 22/12/2009 11:07

yabu OP
I always thought I'd never be a mum who gave their child something to eat from the trolley before it was paid for but then had a very long shopping expedition once, having already given boys food before we went out and they got disgruntled and the only way I could finish the shop without abandoning it half way through was to give smaller ds a pancake from the pack of pancakes that I was going to buy.
He was happy, I was happy, no doubt the other shoppers were happy without the wailing at high pitch.
I simply apologised to the checkout lady that one of the packs was open as we'd had a food emergency, she smiled as she'd obviously come across it many times and that was that. I wasn't stealing, I wasn't being disorganised, I just had an especially long bout of shopping during which my often hungry son got hungry and it kept him happy.
I don't make a habit of it but on the rare occasions I have found myself in a similar position, then it really is no issue to give them something if you're going to be buying it anyway.

TisTheSeasonToBeHully · 22/12/2009 11:20

You're so arrogant it appals me.

How ridiculous! I have been known to open a bottle and drink it myself. it just bemuses me

tethersjinglebellend · 22/12/2009 11:23

That doesn't surprise me at all, Hully.

Not at all.

gorionine · 22/12/2009 11:24

Yabu, like displauntilthetwelfthnight, we have long shopping trips (do a monthly shopping for a family of 6) and not always but as necessary, we do give some food to the DCs that are with us (usally DD4 as we try to do the shopping when the others are having a course on the weekend).

Picking at grapes that are sold by weight: wrong, giving something from a priced package nothing wrong with it as you will be paying for the total shopping, not parts of it!

PrincessFiorimonde, be carefull, I just got a handfull of your fairy dust in my eyes!

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 22/12/2009 11:29

It's not about hunger and it's not about waiting for food it's about the ONLY way to keep a bored fractious DS QUIET for 45 minutes whilst I do the shop.