Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my normally sane DH is in danger of looking like a racist prick?

385 replies

FlamingoCrimbo · 21/12/2009 13:40

DH just forwarded me an email that has been forwarded to him and to other people at his work by one of his colleagues.

I'm hoping he's not forwarded it to anyone except me - it doesn't look like he has.

It's one of those ones called 'border law'. Just found a US version here - swap the US references to UK ones.

DH is just misguided, IMO, sending this on - he ought to know I'd find it offensive. But it's made me wonder if IABU to find it offensive and to think it's probably been written by someone in the US equivalent of the BNP or at least widely distributed by BNP supporters.

So - AIBU and, if IANBU, how would you tackle it with him? He's very lovely, kind, and, sometimes, misguided so I don't want to upset him. I had to stop myself replying with 'you know this email makes you look like a racist prick, don't you' but that's not really very nice, or helpful!

OP posts:
mrsruffallo · 21/12/2009 13:43

It's a bit DM isn't it?
Did Richard Littlejohn send him it?
Honestly, I would be if anyone sent me this

tiktok · 21/12/2009 13:44

Yes, it's racist....if it's been sent on work email servers, it risks disciplinary action, so for that reason, he should not forward it and he should delete it from his inbox and outbox.

pagwatch · 21/12/2009 13:48

I think you should say to him that he is misunderstanding the type of person that forwards this stuff and that they are usually racist. That way you don't label him and make him defensive.

You might also want to ask him if the poster has really thought it through. ( Isn't it terrible that we don't live in these generally quite repressive countries and have their laws )

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 21/12/2009 13:51

Maybe it's one of those things that people read as a 'funny' play on words/situations without actually thinking about what it means? [clutching at straws] no - it's stupid and racist and makes him look a bit both. I'd tell him that if I were him DH came home with a lighter someone had lent him with a naked women's tits on it the other day. I told him that carrying it made him look like an ignorant white van driving sun reader.

displayuntiltwelfthnight · 21/12/2009 13:55

tiktok is right, have to be very careful with work e-mails of that nature. Friend of mine was hauled up by managers for opening an iffy e-mail he had been sent by a prankster colleague

MmeherewegoawassailLindt · 21/12/2009 13:55

I used to get emails like this from my (lovely) SIL. I don't think that they reflect her political views, not really sure why she forwards them.

Eventually I emailed her and told her that that type of email offended me and that I was surprised at her sending them on as I had always thought of her as a tolerant person.

Could you reply that you know that these are not his views and he should take a moment to think about what is written in the email before sending it on to anyone.

Original poster
FlamingoCrimbo · 21/12/2009 13:56

Yes, that's all the things I thought. Also wanted to reply with 'oh yes, would love to follow the example of a country that stones unfaithful wives'

tiktok - will definitely tell him that bit!

OP posts:
KissingUnderTheMittsletoe · 21/12/2009 13:57

''Sweetheart, I think sending this to anyone else will put you in a bad light and make you come across as a racist, which isn't true, but to the wrong eyes it might. I don't want anything bad to come of it and wondered if you might rethink sending it to anyone else, Looking forward to Christmas break...hope we get to pull a few crackers by ourselves ...your loving wife FB xx''

Or summat like that

Original poster
FlamingoCrimbo · 21/12/2009 13:58

I've just texted him and asked him to ring me - better to say it properly than try and explain it by text I think!

Makes you think, though, how dangerous the BNP are - if they can win round all the people who don't know enough to really think about these issues and who just take them at face value. As soon as I explain it to DH, he'll be horrified.

OP posts:
KissingUnderTheMittsletoe · 21/12/2009 13:59

Must confess to a wry about it myself. And I am most definately not racist. Bit tongue in cheek and cutting edge I guess.

hellsbelles · 21/12/2009 14:04

flam - see you got great advice already. Good luck with the conversation

juneybean · 21/12/2009 14:51

He ought to be careful, I know someone who was sacked for forwarding a racist email.

skihorse · 21/12/2009 15:06

It's not racist.

FanjoForTheMankySocks · 21/12/2009 15:10

it is totally racist, and not exactly accurate

BurningBuntingFlipFlop · 21/12/2009 15:12

Okay, i disagree with the email, and it isn't even true, yarlswood anyone?

But all those saying it's racist, is it actually racist to disagree with immigration laws?

fluffles · 21/12/2009 15:16

i am not sure it's racist - i think it's intolerant and xenophobic but as it's aimed at all illegal immigrants and not aimed at any specific 'race' i don't think it's racist.

despite that however, i do think it's innacurate and hateful

TinselianAstra · 21/12/2009 15:18

It's not racist because it's not aimed at any particular race. Prsumably these pricks are equally against white, black, brown or green people coming into the country and 'stealing their jobs'.

BurningBuntingFlipFlop · 21/12/2009 15:18

fluffles said what i meant

Pikelit · 21/12/2009 15:21

It is the sort of racist guff up with which I wouldn't put when managing a team/service. And racist it is, despite anyone trying to deconstruct the message otherwise.

If it was the first time, I wouldn't have sacked the culprit caught circulating it. But I would have set the disciplinary process in motion with a caution about the consequences of further and similar transgression.

This is how the BNP spread their agenda of hate. Dress up "facts" and get them sent round in messages that don't quite say what they mean.

Your DH really needs to cover his back with this one and hopefully, he hasn't forwarded it to anyone but you.

girlafraid · 21/12/2009 15:24

I received one of these this morning, i was not amused

the person sending it does stuff like this to try to wind me up, it often works

in this case i am a little perplexed, are they suggesting they would rather live in Afghanistan than in the UK? I would be more than happy if they would just f**k off there

Sorry to hijack your thread

wannaBe · 21/12/2009 15:43

tbh I don't see why you are wondering how to "tackle" your dh about this. Surely if you have a decent relationship you just say "omg didn't realize that you forwarded on shite emails like that."

Fwiw I don't think it's racist. I don't think it has a pop at the imigrants but rather at the system. I also think that people have become so afraid of being branded racist, that we are afraid to have a discussion on imigration, when actually it is a perfectly valid discussion to have, and can, IMO, be had without it needing to reflect on the individuals, but rather on a system which certainly needs addressing. .

lindy100 · 21/12/2009 15:44

Kissing - 'cutting edge'???

Pikelit · 21/12/2009 15:47

If the system needs addressing then best it be addressed. Which it can be without the need to send messages intended to stir up racial hatred. It is only those who aren't prepared to 'fess up to their inner racist who try and turn the issue round by bleating about "political correctness gorn mad".

GoddessRidingSantasSleigh · 21/12/2009 15:48

that is so not racist and i think you are making a mountain out of a mole hill (i actually laughed) so shoot me
also agree with wannabe

skihorse · 21/12/2009 15:50

Pikelet First off, put me in your racist corner , second off - it can't be discussed (the issues with the system I mean) without it being branded "racist". :-/