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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think being able to drive is KEY skill for a woman ( particularly)

542 replies

FolornHope · 17/12/2009 08:49

or not

OP posts:
Awassailinglookingforanswers · 17/12/2009 20:30

yes but what's the difference between using a bus and using a taxi (apart from the blatantly obvious )

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 17/12/2009 20:33

I will use a taxi next week when I do my big Christmas shop. Walk there, spend lots of money - and get a taxi back home. Will cost me £3.20. Even if I did that every week (actually I used to now I'm just a lazy fecker and do it online) it would still cost me FAR less a year than using a car.

HopeForTheBestExpectTheWorst · 17/12/2009 20:37

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn on request of the poster.

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 17/12/2009 20:42

and - why is it so terrible accept an offer of a lift if it's there?? (bearing in mine the driver is --generally- under no obligation to offer). I know plenty of drivers who have accepted lifts from other people to places they're both going.

FrankCross · 17/12/2009 20:48

I'm failing to understand the whole 'you can learn to drive but not have a car' argument.

If I don't own a car and cannot afford to hire one why would I need a licence?

YABU

HopeForTheBestExpectTheWorst · 17/12/2009 20:51

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn on request of the poster.

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 17/12/2009 20:52

FC - maybe it's so they can hire a car if they "need" one??????

sherby · 17/12/2009 20:55

Because it is a skill that is very useful in a million different situations

I know adults who can't swim because, why learn? They don't go swimming so think they somehow don't need what is a basic skill everyone should have

Driving is the same imo

Janos · 17/12/2009 20:58

I can't help wondering what your DS said about buses that was so awful/sad/offensive that you can't tell us, sparklefrog?

Funnily enough, considering this thread.. DS (5) told me on the way home from nursery that I need to get driving lessons so we can get a car! Pressure from all angles

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 17/12/2009 20:59

HopefortheBest - tell her to feck off then - 'tis one thing (imo) offering the odd lift from someone and another totally expecting someone to offer a lift.

If someone offers me a lift then yes I generally accept (have turned a few offers) but I never expect one - and (as far as I can reemmeber) have never asked for one.

The last lift I accepted was back from the local theatre where DS1's school choir (and 5 other choirs) had been performing.

I was torn between walking back (walked there) with him and getting a taxi. One of the other parents who lives past where we live offered me a lift - and as she was parked outside the theatre carpark (because they were late arriving) I accepted.

I got there quite early - if I'd driven I'd have parked in the carpark, and would have been sat there a long time trying to get out (one of my friends said she was sat waiting to get out for nearly 40 minutes ), and a taxi would have taken ages to get in as well because of the queues of cars and where the "pick-up" point was.

I can hand on heart though say that even when we had a car (and it's only been the last year that we've not had one) I never got a lift from DH anywhere - or got picked up from anywhere either

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 17/12/2009 21:00

sherby - I think swimming is somewhat different. It's unlikely someone will die because they don't have a car/can't drive. Not being able to swim is a life risk.

Janos · 17/12/2009 21:02

"Because it is a skill that is very useful in a million different situations"

Yes it is useful but, it's not essential.

MillyR · 17/12/2009 21:02

I think it is an issue that there will never be agreement on.

To the car driver, the non-driver is being selfish by getting a lift in a car owned and driven by someone else.

To the non-car driver, the driver is selfish because they are driving something that is a hazard to children around in our shared environment, and frequently doing so because they can't be arsed to walk/socialise locally.

Essentially, the little metal box may be yours, but the road you drive it down has no pavement and so you are sharing it with me as a pedestrian and my child as a cyclist.

It is like sharing a paddling pool with a whale.

sherby · 17/12/2009 21:03

But I would say it is on the medium scale of useful life skills. Riding a bike, learning to drive, all things that would stand you in good stead no?

It doesn't mean you have to have a car all the time, but the ability to drive one should you need to is surely v important

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 17/12/2009 21:05

my Dad can't ride a bike...........I can't say it's something that's ever really held him back in life (he can't swim either )

Janos · 17/12/2009 21:07

I completely accept that being pestered for lifts by non-drivers is annoying and rude btw, this is precisely why I don't do it.

Janos · 17/12/2009 21:08

I can ride a bike and swim but I can't drive. Not sure where I fall on the useful skills continuum .

hatesponge · 17/12/2009 21:10

I can't swim either.

Nor can I wink, or whistle.

I can ride a bike though, so I'm possibly not beyond hope.

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 17/12/2009 21:10

MillyR - I have no issues at all (including the one you mention) with people that drive cars, I just have no desire, or need to be able to.

So far not being able to drive hasn't stopped me doing anything I wanted to do with the DS's (we went on a trip to Edinburgh last year - 10hours on the coach - just me and 3 DS's), Great Yarmouth last year on the train with a friend and her young DS.

When I was a single parent I lived further away from the town/schools. "transport" was never an issue - of course there were other issues but they were solely linked to the fact that I was a single parent - not because I couldn't drive - and yes there were occasions then that other parents gave lifts to my children, but as I said it was a "single parent" issue not a driving issue.

I'm quite happy for people to drive - oncewe have the fund again then DH is more than welcome to have a car again. I shan't be asking him to take me anywhere, I'll continue to be perfectly happy with my feet, buses, the odd taxi........and hopefully once again soon a beloved bicycle - haven't owned one for years and I'm starting to miss it

MillyR · 17/12/2009 21:16

ALFA - Yes, it is not an issue for most people. They just make the choices that are right for them. You can make anything into a polarised debate on MN though!

sherby · 17/12/2009 21:23

Well lets hope none of you end up in some life or death bank robbery type situation involving jumping into a car, kicking out the masked robber and driving a ticking bomb away thereby saving the lives of 100 innocent people

Lets see how far your bus timetable reading skills get you then, hey [wink

wollysocks · 17/12/2009 21:50

would like to join in....

my partner has never learned to drive now 54!!!! he is mad, mad cyclist, i mean very keen.

since DD born i wished he would learn as is some situations it would help share the load and it would be nice to be a passenger for once, but he won't, too set in his ways.

people who do not/cannot drive always find a way around transport wherever they live. when i first arrived in london i did not have a car for years and coped with a child. it is not ideal and spent too many dark, wet nights waiting for bus that never came which is not pleasant when you have a child.

lovechoc · 17/12/2009 21:55

YADNBU - people should have this basic skill regardless of whether they decide to buy a car or not.

In an emergency it is handy to have a licence, instead of relying on others, you can go places on your own, do things for yourself.

I would hate to be reliant on DH to get from A to B. it's good to be independent in life, and having a driving licence is one way of being that.

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 17/12/2009 22:02

"people should have this basic skill regardless of whether they decide to buy a car or not.

In an emergency it is handy to have a licence,"

eh - what good is a license going to be in an emergency if you have no car?? DH has a licence, won't do him much good if we had an emergency as he hasn't got a car to drive.

I don't rely on DH to get me from A to B - we've been married 10yrs and I've never once relied on him to get me somewhere - I'm a grown up - (I think ) and am perfectly capable of being independent.........it just so happens that it's without a car.

SleighBelleDameSansMerci · 17/12/2009 22:04

Haven't read whole thread so this has probably already been mentioned but driving is not only a useful life skill, it's a complete joy. I love, love, love driving.