to think being able to drive is KEY skill for a woman ( particularly)

[FolornHope]

or not

I used to feel embarrassed telling people I didn't have a licence. (Not that it is something to be embarrassed about, but personally it felt that way).

I try to use the car as little as possible. We walk miles to shop in the nearest village, and always park and ride into town. I never had a car when I lived in a city, or on a bus route, but, as I mentioned earlier, we would really struggle without a car.

Bloke went to Afghanistan for 6 months earlier this year. Because he's military, we live 200 miles away from my family. To get home to visit them in that time, I HAD to drive. Because even if I had felt up to taking the 90 minute train journey on my own with a toddler and two big dogs, I very much doubt I would have found a taxi driver willing to accomodate the four of us on the 6 mile trip to the station.

So to me, in MY life, it is an essential skill.

Totally agree with OP.

I am one of those annoying milksops who was too scared to drive. God knows why, it just ut the fear of god into me. Took me ages, plus a lot of quite stern encouragement from DP (thank god) and I passed my test (first time as well) October 2008.

I was probably a pain in the arse for DP and my friends, always cadging lifts. Looking back was being unfair really.

However I didn't feel at a disadvantage tbh, I never minded walkig everywhere, buses were OK, it seemed fine. But MY GOD when I passed it seemed like a whole other life of freedom and less stress had opened up. So I am hugely pleased every day that I can drive, it enable me to get a great job, and now I commute down the M5 every day, bomb aound without a care in the world.

However, downside is I am a lot FATTER than I used to be before I drove everywhere.

Why is it head in sand?

If you don't need to drive why add to all the pollution/chaos on roads just to prove some point about your capability?

You probably should pass your test but the problem, I've found, is if you don't practise regularly you get rusty and I'd rather spend my little spare time doing something enjoyable than driving around for the hell of it

Why are you so concerned about whether people drive or don't drive FolornHope?

Do you have a queue od non-driving MNers queuing up to ask you for lifts here, there and everywhere or are you just a bit bored and on the stir?

you need to LEARN to liberate yourslef! not necc own a car
read the thread of all the women who move and then arebuggered or have some crisis where learnign to drive woudl help them, maybe an ill relative in a far off town, or heaven help a disabled partner to move around or any other crisis

it was on another thead janos, a woman with an arse of an h who couldnt leave him as she coudlnt drive
read the first few posts

ermm not all of us "happy as non-drivers" live in London or large cities - god some of us don't even have public transport post 6pm or on Sundays .

I couldn't take my children to school, then go to work for a full day and be back in time to collect them from after school club, without a car.

If you live in a city with good public transportation then fine, or if you live in a village where everything is in walking distance, then fine, but I've never lived in such a place and the people I've known who couldn't drive have relied heavily on others to ferry them around.

I would hate to be without a car. I've driven three times across the US and twice around Western Europe. There's no way we could have got some of the places we got on public transport.

If you have no car, you limit yourself to only going places on public transport routes or relying on other people (or taxis).

I think being able (both physically and legally) to drive is a good idea. We both have current licenses but don't drive at the moment as we live in central London.

No skin off my nose if other people don't want to though, but I know I would feel limited if I didn't have that ability available to me.

Learning to drive didn't help me at all when my Dad was in hospital last year as I can't afford a car.
I passed my test 14 years ago and have never driven because I've never had a car.

I'd drive if I could afford one, but I can't and I manage. Internet for deliveries, bus, train and taxis.

It makes people lazy too, all those threads whining about P&T spaces. Do those people never take their kids on a bus for the fun of it, never go anywhere other than supermarkets in the car because they can't manage without the special space?

I managed to shop with my DD, and I'm a single parent and didn't have the net until she was 4.

I work full time, have 2 children, a disabled partner, and live in a rural area. There is 1 bus an hour to the train station.

I can't drive, but I don't have any problems getting anywhere. In an emergency or for awkward journeys I get a taxi. My commute to work takes an hour on public transport, but that is mostly on the train. I get 2 hours work done sitting on a train. Driving would waste my time.

I am attempting to get my household carbon footprint below 8 tonnes for all 4 of us. I think I can manage it, even though I have to fly due to work at least twice a year. One of the reasons I manage it is by not having a car. That is not just about petrol consumption; it is about choosing not to travel as much for leisure and about choosing local leisure activities such as walking that are not bad for the environment; going local is linked to not driving.

It is all very well saying you can learn the skill without then getting a car, but once you can drive it does become a temptation to do it all the time. I do believe it deskills people in other ways. Some people can't organise themselves, because they think they can always just nip back out in the car for whatever it is they've forgotten, and they stop walking short distances. My children walk all over, cycle to friend's houses, and my 8 year old can travel from school to the train station to meet me on my journey back from work; she does this on a public bus on her own, including waiting at the bus stop on her own, paying the driver, behaving sensibly on the bus and getting off at the right stop.

I know people will come on here with anecdotes to the contrary, but the reality is that on average, children walk, cycle and navigate rural and urban environments on their own less now than a generation ago. A major part of that is reliance on the car.

So, to you it is a skill, but to me it is the start of an anti-social addiction.

"If you have no car, you limit yourself to only going places on public transport routes or relying on other people (or taxis)."

no you don't - you THINK that's what happens to us non-drivers because you just can't quite believe that we can lead full (and happy) lives without a car and get to places "off" the main public transport routes with a car.

Well driving for me has been essential and pleasurable. I learned to drive at 17/18 and couldn't afford my own car for many years. However once I had my license it did give me freedom. I hired cars on occasionaly basis when needed. My curent job had driving license as an esential requirement so I would not have been able to apply for my post with out it. I need to be able to drive minibuses and transport equipment and get to different venues around the county.

I like mountain biking and hill/mountain walking so having a car means I can get to the Peak District, Wales and Scotland easy on my days off.

My nearest city is 45/50 mins drive away so I need the car to get to gigs and the cinema there. The trains don't run back late at night.

As soon as DS's get to 17 they are having driving lessons and I am more than happy to pay for them.

Well I've had more crises than an awful lot of people Folorn and yet somehow I have got through them without being able to drive (and requiring lifts everywhere).

Sure it's very helpful and convenient, no doubt about that, but it's still not an essential life skill.

If someone is determined to leave an abusive partner then not being able to drive won't stop them - they'll find a way (apologies for double negative there).

with you all the way MillyR

Riven, oh they do!
My boss, for example, when we are driving together (and she is in her 60s and didn't pass until she was late 40s) constantly says ''oh but you don't drive so it's no use asking YOU for directions...''

and people calling me 'dependant'.
And some friends saying ''oh well, we can't meet at X because mollyroger can't drive, sigh, so I suppose we'll have to meet at Y'' {er, I can get most places off me own bat)

And then ''oh how funny going on a bus, I don't DO public transport...''
[rewritten to remove something I might regret saying....!]

MillyR, you are quite right about children's lives being circumscribed by the car. Not only because often children are only taken to places by car so never learn how to use public transport but also because more traffic = kids not being allowed out to play or only being allowed within very short distances of their own home. I saw a stat about how much the play area for the average child has shrunk, it's very dramatic.

yy, Park and ride, all the way!

another theory I have is people overshop because they just pile stuff in the car. You choose a lot more carefully when you're trying to work out how to get stuff home on foot or on the bus
So less driving better for the environment in more ways than the obvious!

Not a KEY skill, very useful yes but plenty of people can and do get by their entire lives without driving.

I have thought that Riven (usually when stuck on a bus for over an hour for a trip that should take 15 mins) because of all the cars with one fucking person in them.

Would need to ensure that there really was enough public transport for everyone though.

Shh Riven, I was trying to put more good spin on us non-drivers....