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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU To think that if you are not on a doner register you should give up any rights to a donated organ?

324 replies

littlemoominmamma · 04/12/2009 14:04

Do you think this would be a reasonable idea? If you have an organ donation card you should be entitled to an organ.... if not then that is your choice?

OP posts:
Georgimama · 04/12/2009 21:13

Why is it cretinous? Um, because children can't sign up to the organ donors' register, people with underlying health conditions which make them more likely to need a donation can't be on the register, shall I go on?

neenz · 04/12/2009 21:19

Yes please Georgimama, go on.

Kids would be exempt.

People who have nothing fit to donate would be exempt.

For a person who has kidney or heart failure, what is wrong with asking them to donate their organs/tissue after they die. After all, they won't be needing them then.

This is not about giving blood and having blood transfusions. That is totally different.

InMyLittleHead · 04/12/2009 21:19

Oh Georgimamma, those are obvious exceptions in this hypothetical situation. No one can reasonably argue that if you can't be a donor then you shouldn't be a recipient. But I think if people are just a bit squeamish about it then they should think a lot more seriously, and I don't see why they should benefit from a system they've decided not to contribute to.

LetThereBeRock · 04/12/2009 21:22

Asking is fine, forcing people to do so is not.

RockBird · 04/12/2009 21:26

It's not about caring what happens to your body. It's about ownership and yes, in this case I think that's important.

In case I haven't made myself clear I absolutely support organ donation and have just signed up myself. But I completely resent the idea that people will be told what will happen to their bodies. My body is absolutely no one else's business and it sure as hell isn't anyone else's property for me to have to tick a box if I want to make my own arrangements for it.

We need to educate people more, give them more opportunities to sign up in whatever way we can but I will never support the opt out route.

InMyLittleHead · 04/12/2009 21:39

Considering 19 people a day die waiting for a transplant. The importance of 'ownership', which is pretty much redundant in this situation as you can't own anything when you're dead, pales in comparison imo. If you let yourself get into the situation where you die with a set of perfectly transferable organs, which are only going to burn or rot, you are effectively deciding not to save someone's life.

Vallhala · 04/12/2009 21:42

It's an interesting idea. Unreasonable, but interesing.

I was expecting to have to read through all 6 pages to find out if anyone had already asked about those who are medically unable to donate. Purely selfishly, I was thinking, "Well thats me fucked then", as I've had cancer and can't be an organ or blood donor. Then I saw that I'd be an exception to the proposed rule.

That makes me feel a little better, but I still think that the idea's unreasonable.

alwayslookingforanswers · 04/12/2009 21:44

you're only a hero under the current system if your family/next of kin agree to it though (and of course if you've got the right body bit that someone need then)

. Am I also right in thinking that even if you're not on the register, and die, that your family can also still say yes to donating you spare parts?

"and I don't see why they should benefit from a system they've decided not to contribute to."

well indeed............and what a long way "off topic" that idea could go..........

KurriKurri · 04/12/2009 21:47

I do agree that people should be encouraged as much as possible to donate if they are able. But I don't think it helps when people get all strident and accusing. Even if people are on the register, the time of death is a traumatic one for families.

When my brother died, a post mortem was necessary. I found it dreadfully upsetting at a time of grief to think of his body being cut up.

Those sort of feelings would not stop me donating (if I was able), or mean that I wouldn't want a member of my family to be a donor. But I think sensitivity should be shown. Its a bit less simplistic than people being apathetic or selfish.

LetThereBeRock · 04/12/2009 21:52

I'm still against making people's bodies the property of the state.

Alive or dead my body should belong only to me, unless I've decided that others may use it after death. That, as far as I'm concerned is my right, and a basic dignity that all human beings should be allowed.

Making our bodies into commodities is not something I'd care to do, and it's a very slippery slope imho.

One could also consider that by not joining the bone marrow/blood donor register that one is allowing others to die, now there is a difference one could say in that they are drawn from a living person and can involve some risk, however slight,,but still it could be said that we're indirectly contributing to the death of others.
That may be true but such is the price of free will and autonomy.

Organ donation really does need to be more widely discussed however, in order to increase the number of available organs.

The only exposure that many people have to the idea is from the occasional advert or poster that they see.
There could many more opportunities to promote and discuss the possibility of donating one's organs after death,but we could be making better use of those.

oldraver · 04/12/2009 22:24

I agree with all the posters that say there should be something in place to stop relatives overiding your wisjhes if your on the organ donation list. I have carried a donation card/been on the list for over 30 years. I know my parents are of the 'euww, I couldn't do it type' and my Dad I'm certain would put HIS wishes before mine. I have to sya we havn't discussed it for along time but as a teenager he said he wouldn't of given permision

My DH needed persuading to go on the donation list due to a belief that the doctors would' eye up my organs' and probably not fight as hard for him'. I certainly dont think like this but there seems there are people who still do. In the end he was one of those people who couldn't donate his organs even though he was on the list.

Myself. I'm not fussy what I give away. Blood, milk, bone marrow,if it can be used all the better. I even gave my tonsils, placenta and cord to medical research. I'm greatfull to the people who donated blood in the past so that my first little boy could have transfusion after transfusion even though in the end it wasnt enough for him. I just wish my beautiful, gentle 25 year old friend who died in August,could of found new lungs in time

girlsyearapart · 04/12/2009 22:26

chegirl I thought they stopped you giving blood with MS because you're not physically strong enough? When I went they said 'No love you need it all for yourself' It hadn;t even occurred to me that I wouldn't be able to..

rockbird I don't know much about the opt out in Belgium- I only lived there till I was 18 but I think it is connected to identity cards (the opting out part)

chegirlwithbellson · 04/12/2009 22:32

girls I asked when after DD died. I was getting everyone I had ever met signed up and OH wanted to. The nurse told me he couldnt because they couldnt prove it was not blood bourne.

'No love you need it all for yourself' . I think I may have poked them! My OH is 6'2" and built like the proverbial brick house

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 04/12/2009 23:49

Georgimama - children can be put on the organ donor register by their parents. See my post below - both my dc are on it.

MeltedTreeChocolates · 04/12/2009 23:52

I have struggled with this for a long time. Do I think it is right hacking up my body and giving parts of it to anyone? I am not sure, but if something happened to DS or DH and they were offered a donation or death would I turn it down? Not a chance. So should I give? I think I should. I cant bring myself to though, it feels wrong.

InMyLittleHead · 04/12/2009 23:54

Is it less wrong than someone dying unnecessarily just because someone else feels squeamish?

brightongirldownunder · 05/12/2009 00:03

The way I see it is if you're dead you no longer need your organs. End of story.
If those organs can help another person, then surely that gift of life is far more important than having an intact body 6 feet under.
I'm totally for an opt out scheme. Those who decide not to/cannot donate can then be taken off the list.
Not a problem...

MeltedTreeChocolates · 05/12/2009 00:10

It isnt about me being squimish. I dont care about that, for goodness sake i will be dead

No it's more about wondering if it has taken technolgy to far? But like i said i would take it if i had to for my family so I will need to get on the list because of that.

MeltedTreeChocolates · 05/12/2009 00:11

I would agree with the creation of OP's idea into a legal thing

InMyLittleHead · 05/12/2009 00:12

Taken technology too far? What, to save lives? That's a bit bonkers, I'm afraid. How can you say that if you would want a transplant for a loved one if they needed it?

MeltedTreeChocolates · 05/12/2009 00:22

Thats why i say i will have to get on the list. It wouldn't be fair otherwise. I dunno, the idea that something is naturally wrong with you and you stick someone elses body part in your body to replace it to sort out what ever is wrong, well it doesn't feel right to me but then you have to say well is most medical help right in that case? I go round in circles about it all. So I have to settle with that, because i would allow it for DS or DH I cant exactly go agaisnt it and therefore should become a donor. I just am confused at where to draw the line you know? A personal thing, not something i judge others for doing.

InMyLittleHead · 05/12/2009 00:45

Fair enough.

misdee · 05/12/2009 07:55

melted, a lot of people have those feelings. when dh was waiting for his new heart i struggled emotionally with it. i struggled with wanting someone else to die to save dh, but i didnt want other people to die. but i didnt want dh to die. its a very hard time emotionally.

TinselinaBumsquash · 05/12/2009 08:16

I am on the register, organ donation is a subject very close to my heart as DS1 has CF and will possibly need a double Lung transplant in the future, i am miffed though becuase although im on the regisster DP i guess would be the one to say i wanted to be a doner but i dont think he would, i may get them to write it in big letters on my hospital file and hope they ask dp in the even of my death......

HohohoBumperlicious · 05/12/2009 09:53

I think the problem is that the process is not very clear to people. I wonder if they fear that not as much effort will be put into keeping them alive if they are donors, or that life support might be turned off prematurely. Also, do the organs need to be taken while you are still alive? Will it make you look horrible to your family who may want to see you? Stupid questions I know but I think it is fear of the unknown. I am on the register btw(through my driving licence).

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