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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU To think that if you are not on a doner register you should give up any rights to a donated organ?

324 replies

littlemoominmamma · 04/12/2009 14:04

Do you think this would be a reasonable idea? If you have an organ donation card you should be entitled to an organ.... if not then that is your choice?

OP posts:
noddyholder · 05/12/2009 10:02

The idea that potential donors won't have as much effort into keeping them alive if they fall ill is a fallacy.Medical school teaches 'anything to save a life'.It is a much easier job to treat an already ill person with current drugs and procedures in the hope of saving them than it is to find a match for an organ and transplant it.The transplanted organ then has to be maintained with a strict drug regime and even then may fail so it is not the easy option I have sometimes seen described by anti transplant literature.I have had 2 transplants and thank god every day I have.There is no easy answer to this and when you are seriously ill the will to live and survive is very strong that I think most people would accept an organ if thats what it took.Why these people don't want to donate is strange to me but is their right.

girlsyearapart · 05/12/2009 10:18

chegirl didn't know that. Learn something new everyday.

Yeah I was a bit when they said that to me as I was feeling perfectly fine and healthy. Oh well.

SoupDragon · 05/12/2009 10:24

I think the idea in the OP is utterly repellent.

HappyChristmasFromKimi · 05/12/2009 10:42

The trouble with this idea is this....

If someone needs a donor organ it is because their heart/kidney/liver or what ever is not working so they would not be able to donate an organ.

Personally I think we should NOT give organs to drug addicts and alcoholics as it is a waste of a gift of life a decent person could have, and before you all jump on that comment (not that I care really) my father needed a new heart, he did not get one, he was a drinker, I was 12 when he died, but he would not have changed his life style and would have carried on drinking and still took himself to an early grave even if he had been given a heart.

Georgimama · 05/12/2009 10:48

I responded to the incredibly daft OP. If you're going to start building in safety nets like children, the chronically sick etc then the idea becomes slightly less repulsive. I still don't like it though.

treedelivery · 05/12/2009 11:00

The idea of why should you recieve if you are too to donate is an interesting debate. it doesn't strike me as cruel or daft as it does some posters. It strikes me as ultimately a step too far. However I do think it raises interesting debate about our sense of entitlement as a whole, despite not being prepared to contribute.

The opt out of list is the best way forward and needs to be got on with. Can't see any political party in power doing it though, it would create too much of a polarised media frenzy debate.

SoupDragon · 05/12/2009 11:35

Should people be entitled to benefits/NHS treatment if they have never paid tax?

AMumInScotland · 05/12/2009 11:43

That goes right to the heart of whether we think a welfare state is a good thing or not, doesn't it? Personally, I like the fact that I live in a country where you don't have to worry about whether you can afford a doctor or hospital treatment, or worry about starving to death if you lose your job. And I accept that by helping those who can't afford these things, we also help those who probably could work but don't bother, and those who could donate but don't. But it's a big expensive luxury to live in a country which does that!

alwayslookingforanswers · 05/12/2009 12:11

given that many people are uneducated about going onto the donor register (think how many people you know, or on MN who only signed up because someone they know/Peter) how on earth do you ensure that EVERYONE knows about their right to opt-out.

Given how many people genuinely don't know how to find information on things that affect just about everyone in day to day life at some point in their lifes how do you ensure that people know about how to opt-out (or even that they can?).

misdee · 05/12/2009 12:34

ahem, this many...

The Daily Mirror reported that since Peters story first appeared in the newspaper on the 9th August, 25,000 people signed the organ donation register in 6 days!. WoW!! Bloody bloody hell.

IIRC, wheni asked, it was about 10 000 more than average for that week. or soemthing daft like that

flockwallpaper · 05/12/2009 13:24

I think Hohohobumperlicious makes some good points. The process of organ donation is perhaps not transparent enough and we shy away from talking about these things as a society. Individuals may wish to donate their organs on their death, but often grieving families will veto the wishes of the deceased, perhaps because they don't want to face it at the moment when their grief is most acute.

My father had fantastic treatment in hospital and we were put under no pressure to switch off his life support, but sadly, we had to take that hard decision. The undertakers were still able to make his body look okay, I believe that organs are removed from a corpse and disposed of as part of the enbalming process in any case. Better that they are giving life to someone else rather than going into an incinerator. We understood the positive impact his organs could potentially have on the lives of very poorly people and their families. We knew that it would have been his wish to help others as he talked about it.

If you are on the register, it is very important to be clear to your nearest and dearest about your wishes, even though death can be hard to discuss. As the early phases of grief ebbed away, we were comforted by the idea that the untimely death of my father helped others.

The OP does raise an interesting question and I do see where she is coming from, but it is unworkable, and I believe that very sick people on the transplant list should be treated with compassion, not judgement at their time of need.

MeltedTreeChocolates · 05/12/2009 13:39

Misdee - for me it isn't about guilt at wanting others to die or anything like that. It is more that we are born with these organs, these are ours. Unfortunately they fail for whatever reason. Is it taking everything too far to start sticking other people's body parts in yours to keep you alive? My natural reaction is yes, it is too far. Then however i think 'well is it any better or worse to have someone elses blood if you lost too much in an accident'. Round and round in circles i go. It comes back to this though. I would do it for my DH or DS, so I cant really say it's wrong or refuse to donate my own organs/blood.

Sassybeast · 05/12/2009 14:01

Meltedtreechocolates - I truly truly hope that you never ever have to watch someone that you love struggling for every tiny breath as the clock ticks and they wait for that call to tell them they may have a chance of life. I find your point of view desperately sad and struggle to understand the logic of it.

noddyholder · 05/12/2009 14:06

Sassybeast I agree.How can you say you would accept an organ if you think it is fundamentally wrong.

MisSalToeKisses · 05/12/2009 14:08

I do think it is slightly hypocritical to be happy to accept another person's organs to save your (or your loved ones') life, but not offer someone else the same chance should anything ever happen to you. So although I don't agree completely with OP, I can see where you're coming from.

Perhaps better education / publicity is the key? I find that, when it becomes more personal (e.g. Misdee's dh), you realise that this affect real people. It could be you, me, our children.

edam · 05/12/2009 14:20

Biggest factor in the shortage of organs is the use of seatbelts. Better road safety = fewer healthy organs becoming available.

Doctors are increasingly having to resort to transplanting organs that are very far from ideal - from elderly people with illnesses, even cancer sufferers, from suicides where the heart stopped (before resuscitation, obviously)... it's a gruesome business

(Apologies if someone has said this, it's a very long thread so I haven't read every single line in detail.)

I can't donate blood, btw, but dh does.

stanausauruswrecks · 05/12/2009 15:16

Out of all the people who die on a daily basis only a small percentage would ever make suitable donors, so it certainly isn't the case that teams of medics would be hacking away at every person who died in hospital.In fact there was a case a few years ago when an offer of organ donation was turned down as there were strings attached to the offer. If the donor co-ordinator feels there is the slightest bit of doubt in the donor family then removal of organs will not take place.
I have worked in transplantation and have been present when the team have removed organs for transplant. They acted with absolute professionalism and showed such respect and compassion for the person they were operating on, certainly not the "smash and grab" operation people seem to think it is.
On the other side, every person we accepted onto the waiting list for transplant was asked to donate their old organ for either research or if their valves were healthy, that they could be donated to the national heart valve bank. None of them refused and I know of some who died on the waiting list, but their families donated whatever they could(skin/bone/cataracts/heart valves).

littlemoominmamma · 05/12/2009 16:58

Just to say that this thread was completely hypothetical and I am glad that it has been so popular, even with the opposing views (always welcome!) as we may have raised awareness if nothing else...........

To all those who have gone on to register Bl**dy Well Done - you may, one day, save someones life

OP posts:
Nefertari · 05/12/2009 19:25

Not on organ donor register, but a blood donor, and on bone marrow transplant register. Got a call once, but it fell through as patient too ill to receive bone marrow.

Bigbadmummy · 06/12/2009 09:43

Neenz It didn't have to be my DH, it could have been ANY member of my family, or even a friend.

Luckily my husband wasn't so unreasonable to suggest not donating, and I am sure had he have been then they would have still done the C-section.

I just think it is a good way of keeping blood banks well stocked.

Highlander · 06/12/2009 10:10

I re-registered us all on the new electronic donor thingy last year.

What really, really bugs me is that there isn't provision for me to make a staement that could be read out to any disaggreeing realtives, if my organs were suitable. For example..........

"I wrote this on the organ donor web site. i don't want you to over-ride my wishes for all of my, and my children's, organs to be donated in the event of our deaths. By the time this is being read out to you, I'm dead - my life is over but there are other people oput there who are dying for the chance to live. Please don't go against my wishes to get the chance to help other people have the happy, normal life that I've had the privelage to enjoy"

Blah de blah, you get the theme.......

catastrojb · 06/12/2009 10:56

I don't agree - I am on the register and am quite happy to donate to someone even if they are not. I do think there needs to be awareness raising or an opt-out scheme though, to increase the number of donations. I also don't agree with relatives being able to override a donor card, which I believe they can do at the moment.

BakuMum · 06/12/2009 10:59

www.organdonation.nhs.uk/ukt/RegistrationForm.do

This thread made me think that my little card I used to carry is lost somewhere and I have no idea if I am still registered or not. I'm going to reregister now. I think the opt out idea is a good one. Once I'm dead I don't really care what happens to me - I'm happy to be public property.

greenmob83 · 06/12/2009 11:01

With the op's reasoning that would leave the 96% of people in this country who rely on the 4% who give blood up a very sticky gum tree should the need arise.There are even fewer platelet doners as not everyone can donate platelets even if they can donate blood.
So yes a very unreasonable idea.

thedollshouse · 06/12/2009 11:07

YABvU. I am on the doner register but I don't have a card. Dh is aware of my wishes and would agree for my organs to be donated.

I have had the conversation with dh and he has said that I should do whatever I wish with his organs in the event of his death. I would agree for them to be donated. Dh isn't on any register.

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