Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU To think that if you are not on a doner register you should give up any rights to a donated organ?

324 replies

littlemoominmamma · 04/12/2009 14:04

Do you think this would be a reasonable idea? If you have an organ donation card you should be entitled to an organ.... if not then that is your choice?

OP posts:
misdee · 04/12/2009 19:30

i wrote a big long reply and mumsnet died.

when dh was placed on the list, he was already in end stage heart failure. his kidneys and liver were also failing. he was in a bad way, lost over 25% of his bodyweight, and was close to dying. His organs have been dmamaged by his wait on the list, to what extenmt we dont know. he is not registered. however, we have discussed tissue donation (small bowel and intenstines) and leaving his body to medical research.

at the time of peters illness, i dont think he would've been a suitable donor for anyone. he was pumped full of some nasty chemicals to keep him alive, his organs were failing and he was being kept going by 2 different devices.

however, my self and our daughters are all registered. dd1 may need a valve later on or a full transplant, as she has minor problems which just require monitoring at present.

neenz · 04/12/2009 19:33

I totally agree, alwayslooking. If you have decided you want to donate it is not the next of kin's place to override it.

The last time this was in the news it was debated on FiveLive, and it was said that in this country it is not just the number of organs that is the problem but the availablity of surgeons, beds etc.

Even if more organs were available there wouldn't be the infrastructure to carry out the ops, sadly.

misdee · 04/12/2009 19:35

oh, he has already left his old heart o medical research as well.

lazyemma · 04/12/2009 19:35

I don't think family should be able to over-ride the decision either. I think in some countries they can't - in Austria, for example, they don't ask the relatives for their views at all, and just go ahead with the donation unless the deceased had explicitly withheld consent - they also have an opt-out system, which I don't agree with. I think it should still be opt-in, but families shouldn't be able to deny the explicitly stated wishes of the potential donor.

2jamsandwiches · 04/12/2009 19:36

carrots not sticks needed here...

alwayslookingforanswers · 04/12/2009 19:36

"If you are too lazy/apathetic/blinkered to get around to it, well that's your look out - but if you feel that strongly about it, you'll do it."

Sorry but you're TOTALLY missing the point. How do you ensure that EVERYONE knows and understands their right to opt-out? Given that 100,000's of vulnerable people in this country don't get their basic financial/care needs met because they don't KNOW what is available,e or know where to look for the help.

Assuming that everyone is able to make the choice is very blinkered - or even know that they have the choice.

neenz · 04/12/2009 19:38

misdee, x-posted. It sounds like a terrible situation. Thanks goodness he has come through it as well as he has.

Do you not think that someone who has received an organ should do like your DH and offer what they can of their body to research/transplant?

Gving blood/accepting a blood transfusion is completely different. Giving blood is very different to just signing a piece of paper which says 'when I die you can have what you want'.

But I would hope anyone who has received a blood transfusion, who therefore knows how important those blood stores are, would in future give blood voluntarily.

alwayslookingforanswers · 04/12/2009 19:39

"By the same token, should we allow people to receive emergency blood transfusions if they are not blood donors?

Interestingly when I lived in Saudi they had a law that said when you went into hospital for an operation a member of your family thad to donate a pint of blood to the hospital blood bank."

That wouldn't work here -the screening/self-screeing checks are so that many people can't give blood.

mellifluouscauliflower · 04/12/2009 19:40

Felt really bad when I read this thread littlemoo.

I just went to
www.organdonation.nhs.uk/ukt/default.jsp

and have now signed up. It was very easy...

neenz · 04/12/2009 19:41

I don't think we want the UK to be anything like Saudi .

Seriously though, what would they have done if your DH had refused to give blood? Would they have refused you the CS?

LetThereBeRock · 04/12/2009 19:43

I don't think that anything that forces people to 'donate' any part of their body is a 'fabulous idea' be it blood or organs.

ThumbleBells · 04/12/2009 19:43

OK, alf, I take your point - and I don't know how other countries get around that but they must do somehow. I doubt that any of the posters on here fall into your category though, and I was addressing my comments to them, really.

alwayslookingforanswers · 04/12/2009 19:44

"But I would hope anyone who has received a blood transfusion, who therefore knows how important those blood stores are, would in future give blood voluntarily."

ermmm

You should NOT give blood if

"You have received blood or think you may have received blood during the course of any medical treatment or procedure anywhere in the world since 1st January 1980."

I see they've redone the "who can and can't give blood" git on the giveblood website if I abstain from sex for 12 months with my DH I may then be able to give blood - but I'll have to put on weight first.

MayorNaze · 04/12/2009 19:48

hmm. this is a very interesting debate.

if you tick the box on your driving licence to say you are willing to donate your organs, does that put you on the register? sorry to be thick

JollyBear · 04/12/2009 19:51

neenz you said, Do you not think that someone who has received an organ should do like your DH and offer what they can of their body to research/transplant?

I've had a liver transplant and they didn't offer me the old one! Of course it goes to research into whatever disease/condition caused you to need a transplant in the first place.

I think most of my relatives, my friends, their friends/relatives etc signed up to the register after I was ill. Knowing someone who was close to death and came through to live a full, healthy life just shows what the gift of an organ can do.

WeThreeNinks · 04/12/2009 20:28

YABU, but this was badly-thought out, hope you're not getting a kicking.

My DD's life has been saved several times with blood transfusions and because her blood is defective she is unable to give any. As am I.

The same would go for organs I presume, liver, kidneys, all with her crappy non-clotting blood in.

She has been so close to the edge so many times now that I have thought about it, I've thought about her corneas. Her beautiful crystal blue eyes gone.

I might well give permission for that to happen, I probably would, in gratitude.

I do realise that it is important to raise awareness regarding the importance of donors, but this has upset me.

Georgimama · 04/12/2009 20:31

To OP, without reading the entire thread, I think what a fucking cretinous idea. Have you given any thought to what you posted at all?

Will now read rest of thread and wait for this to be deleted....

RockBird · 04/12/2009 20:46

"the point is that you can CHOOSE to opt out and then your precious bod can't be touched! If you are too lazy/apathetic/blinkered to get around to it, well that's your look out - but if you feel that strongly about it, you'll do it."

It's that kind of arrogance that would really make me fearful in an opt out system. My body, my flesh and bones. Yet you can decide to take what you like because for whatever reason I didn't get round to unticking a box.

InMyLittleHead · 04/12/2009 20:55

I really don't understand why anyone cares what happens to their body when they're dead, especially if it helps another person. Being on the donor register is probably your only chance to be a hero.

neenz · 04/12/2009 21:03

'I've had a liver transplant and they didn't offer me the old one! Of course it goes to research into whatever disease/condition caused you to need a transplant in the first place.'

Jollybear, I didn't mean the parts that had been removed - I meant the rest of the body after you die. misdee's DH is willing to donate any suitable part of his body after his death - which I think all organ recipients should.

Georgiemama, exactly why is it a cretinous idea?

neenz · 04/12/2009 21:03

Totally agree with inmylittlehead.

bumpsoon · 04/12/2009 21:05

im on the donor register , when im dead i have no use of the body i inhabited ,i have told all my relatives and told them i will come back and haunt them if they vetoe it .
Would like to know how to go about being a bone marrow donor though , is there a separate organisation you have to sign up to ?

LetThereBeRock · 04/12/2009 21:08

See here if you're interested in becoming a bone marrow donor.

fledtoscotland · 04/12/2009 21:09

YABU

Some people cant be donor's because of underlying medical conditions. Same with blood transfusions - I'm not able to give blood so does that mean that should I need one, I will not be able to receive a transfusion.

I do think we need to change the laws and make it an opt out system as there are so few viable organs available, every extra one would make a real difference.

eatsshootsleaves · 04/12/2009 21:11

I did try to donate bone marrow in my first year at uni only to be told that I was too slight to donate it.

Tried to donate something else a few years later(blood this time) and again, was weighed and measured and told that I was too light, had too low blood pressure to donate anything.

However, if I'm dead then whoever needs a spare kidney, heart etc is welcome to it.

I can see your logic op but please do not assume that just because one does not carry a donor card then it means one is being unreasonable. There may be valid reasons for not having one.

Swipe left for the next trending thread