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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Kissing on the mouth

135 replies

wellywoo · 26/11/2009 22:40

Went to visit family for the weekend and two of my DH's sisters gave DD (5 months) a big cuddle then kissed her on the mouth - a few times.
I was so angry but didn't say anything, didn't want to 'cause a scene' but now wish I had said something.
I wouldn't dream of kissing someone elses baby on the mouth.....am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:

GibbonInARibbon · 27/11/2009 09:20

I am honestly at some comments on this thread. Anger, only lovers kiss on the mouth, germs?

Good grief.

LeninGrad · 27/11/2009 09:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Morloth · 27/11/2009 09:23

I can see being a bit taken aback maybe if this isn't something you usually do, but not angry.

I would never have kissed my son on the mouth when he was little, nobody else ever wanted to either. It was because of the constant stream of drool/slobber and snot though not because there was anything wrong with it .

thumbwitch · 27/11/2009 09:25

I kiss DS on the mouth, DH at first refused to do so but now does (how else are they supposed to learn?) but I would probably feel a bit weird if strangers did it. No problem with my sis, my Dad, MIL - but non-relatives or strangers would be weird.

therefore I think YAprobablyBabitU.

theoutdoorlifeforme · 27/11/2009 09:26

We didn't kiss on lips as children - lots of cuddles and cheek-kisses - so I do feel uncomfortable with it when my MIL has kissed my DCs on the lips. I asked her not to do it and said as I don't want my DS kissing his friends on the lips, which he then started doing! But I also didn't like it, it makes me squirm - as it does when DH's uncle tries to kiss me on my lips, it feel too intrusive and once they are toddlers, children can feel that too (I remember one family friend trying to force kisses on us as kids and I HATED it!) .

QuintessentialShadows · 27/11/2009 09:29

I wouldnt kiss a baby on the mouth, but I have "witnessed this practice". Dont see anything wrong with it. My sons gets plenty of kisses and cuddles, but only ever on the mouth by accident, I have on occasion missed their lovely cheeks.

Morningpaper I get the thing about the cellophane. I once ruined my mums joy of her christmas present, a really lush bed linen set by putting it in the wash and making it all crinkly and plain "before I had a chance to admire it and stroke its lovely silky feel lovingly"..... oh well...

jellybeans · 27/11/2009 09:34

YANBU My DD got coldsores this way. I am still annoyed and tell all DC never to kiss anyone on the lips. Cold sores can be infectious even when not obvious.

LeninGrad · 27/11/2009 09:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chocs2g · 27/11/2009 09:34

I kiss my DD on the mouth but she's 3. My friend kissed her on the mouth when she was just a few weeks old though....a few days later baby ended up with thrush in her mouth. YANBU. I felt terrible both for not saying anything at the time and the fact that DD possibly caught thrush from my friend.

emsyj · 27/11/2009 10:18

Oh dear, I kiss my godson (aged almost 2) on the lips. But then he does present his puckered, dribbly lips to me for this purpose. Does his mother secretly loathe me for it??? Nightmare.

muminclogs · 27/11/2009 10:24

not sure: DH would be totally with you on this. He tries to get DD 18 mo to kiss him on the cheek
I don't really mind as long as they stop doing it when kid is an adult. I have a friend (30 something) whose gran (80 something)still kisses him on the lips. YUK!!

groundhogs · 27/11/2009 11:12

I know it's utterly unreasonable, but I can't bear anyone that isn't direct and close family kissing my boy.

Can't explain it, but i just can't accept it...

2rebecca · 27/11/2009 11:20

I kiss my kids and dad on the mouth, used to kiss grannies etc on mouth when they were alive and aunts and uncles as a child.
In my experience cheek kissing is a modern import. A kiss was always a mouth kiss when I was little.
Have never paid any attention to where my sibs kiss my kids, it seems unimportant.
YABU.

meltedchocolate · 27/11/2009 11:25

Funny this actually because i was kissed on the lips when i was younger and as soon as i started having sex i started to feel uncomfortable about it so told my parents we would be cheek kissing from now on.

My bro and sis who are still virgins don't have the same issue. Now i have my own DS i will always kiss him on the mouth and would be if my parents and bro and sis (who see him at least a few times EVERY week) didn't.

It will stop when i feel he is becoming uncomfortable/ self conscious about it.

I have a friend whom i used to work with who still kisses her mum and dad on the lips even at age 27 and publicly. She really couldn't care and i think that is great.

wearthefoxhat · 27/11/2009 11:29

I grew up with lots of spontaneous affection and kisses, but never on the lips.
I kiss my own dc's on the lips, but it took a while for this to feel normal and comfortable.
I'm not liking the attitude that some are taking on this, that there is something wrong with a person for not feeling comfrotable kissing on the lips, and that somehow society has created bad feelings for affection. I would feel very uncomfortable indeed if someone other than my dh or dc's kissed me on the lips, not because I was starved of affection or warmth, not because I'm nutty or loopy, simply because it was not done in my family.

meltedchocolate · 27/11/2009 11:35

Nothing wrong with NOT doing it wear but to suggest there is something wrong with doing it is what gets me. to connect it with a lovers kiss make me feel sick...

fragola · 27/11/2009 12:59

YANBU at all - different families do different things, there isn't a right or wrong, and if you're uncomfortable with it, that's fair enough.

My family aren't mouth kissers, and although I don't see anything wrong with it, it seems odd to me.

I wouldn't be happy with someone kissing my baby on the mouth. I think even if I had been brought up differently, I still wouldn't kiss him on the mouth because I don't want to him to catch cold sores from me (can be contagious even if not visible).

When he's older, if he wants to kiss someone on the mouth, that's up to him. In the meantime, I don't think he's missing out in any way by being kissed elsewhere.

I think that in days of yore kissing babies was discouraged - I remember seeing a badge for babies to wear saying "please don't kiss me".

BabyValentine · 27/11/2009 13:58

YABU - you may not like it (and I think you seem to be in the minority) and of course it is a case of personal preference, but different strokes for different folks. And surely Aunties showing their affection for your child can only be a good thing?

To 'cause a scene' over it would be devastating, IMO. I would certainly be extremely, extremely hurt if anyone objected to what was meant as a harmless greeting, a gesture of love, to their child.

FabIsVeryLucky · 27/11/2009 14:00

YANBU

I used to be a nanny and would never kiss someone elses child on the mouth. Sometimes the kids got me though.

I don't mind DH doing it to his children but he never has, he kisses their cheeks, face, head.

emmalina888 · 27/11/2009 14:01

Wellywoo, You are completely and utterly weird!! Is this some kind of joke?

PrettyCandles · 27/11/2009 14:05

YANBU. Mouths are too intimate.

I'm with my dad on this one - he only kisses and accepts kisses from my mum on the mouth, the rest of us he kisses on the cheek, and we kiss him on the cheek. However, in dh's family they kiss each other (not me) on the mouth, and dh kisses the dc on the mouth. So I kiss our dc and accept kisses from them on the mouth.

But I would not dream of kissing anybody else's child on the mouth, not even a relative's.

FabIsVeryLucky · 27/11/2009 14:08

Interested in people saying it is all to do with how you were brought up.

I was never kissed or hugged at all.

daffodilli · 27/11/2009 14:11

YABU. Unless they have colds etc, no problem. I'd be really sad if my sisters were scared to show affection to their nephew.

I was 'advised' by an old lady on the bus that it really wasn't a good idea for me to kiss my DS on the mouth!!

emmalina888 · 27/11/2009 14:13

Daffodilli - you are soo right. I would be really upset if my sister didn't kiss my little boy. Lol at old lady on bus ...some people have very strange ideas about things!

TrillianAstra · 27/11/2009 14:15

I think I would prefer people (including family) to kiss my (hypothetical) baby on the cheek/head/etc rahter than the mouth, but I have no reason behind it.

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