to think that ginger hair

[Vallhala]

is the most beautiful colour and those with it shouldn't be bullied or taken the micky out of but praised instead?

My twelve year old daughter has been bullied at school for the colour of her hair, so much so that she wants to dye it. This is breaking my heart as her hair colour is absolutely gorgeous, a golden red, and she should be proud of it. She's so upset by the bullying and she feels alone and "different".

So, come on all you redheads and Mums of redheaded children - don't you think that red hair is simply stunning? I want to show her that you might get unkind comments as a child by the ignorant people (she's been called a "ginger C" amongst other things) but when you grow up you realise how much good attention ginger hair gets you and how pretty it is.

PS and obviously: YANBU

(that was gratuitous, it's so long since I've been on Mumsnet that the biscuit is NEW and EXCITING..)

OK, that will teach me to hit 'post' without reading the whole thread...

@CurlyCasper: love the 'dying breed' comment - my son must have read a simiar article as I have a lovely memory of him saying to me a couple of years back, "Do you know, Mum, I'm going to become extinct?"

Clarification: when I said "not OK" above, obviously I personally think it's absolutely fine - it was lazy shorthand for "there will always be a few loud-mouthed cretins that subscribe to this point of view and can't wait to share it with you".

Hmmm... as I am so peed off that my once "strawberry blonde" hair is now a mix of dark blonde/mouse and I'm gaining white hair too (FFS I'm only in my 40s... it must be the stress of the kids!), perhaps I should have my hair dyed red to match DDs.

It doesn't help here as DD1 is a very light, Scandanavian type blonde and gets lots of attention for it.

DD2 gets the hair from both sides - I have a very ginger aunt and (once, now grey!) equally red uncle and my ex-H has shades of ginger in his brown hair, which is very apparent when he grows a mini beard!

my gorgeous DS age 11 has beautiful auburn hair and gets teased but is coping with it. He is doubly fortunate because he has inherited DH's skin which tans well so in the summer he's kind of golden all over. Neither me or DH are ginger although I have been dyeing my hair red since I was about 21 - a few years before I even met DH. People now often say that DS has his mother's hair...

red hair is stunning and i love it.in a sea of brown and blonde,red is stunning

ok might not like as adolescent but will love as adult as she turns heads.think lily cole, nicole kidman,Debra Messing, Marcia Cross and Isla Fisher

I wonder if it's a subtle anti-Irish or Celtic thing in the UK? In the US, where being Irish is considered something to be admired, red hair doesn't carry the same stigma. You might be called a ginger or a carrot head, but the animosity doesn't get half as intense as in the UK.

The US has a lot of ethnic groups who frequently have red hair too, like Scandinavians, Germans, even Italians (often more auburn), all of whom were looked down on at one point or another for being beer drinkers, Catholics, non-English speakers, poor rural immigrants, etc., which gave rise to a good deal of ethnic pride in those groups and a willingness to embrace and defend those things that made them stand out from the anglo herd.

Of course, the US has a much more serious problem with race, so maybe the red haired thing was ignored while peoples' worst instincts played out in that arena?

Wait till she's 18 and looks like Nicole Kidman - that'll show em.

My dd is only 5 but loves her hair. It is deep red, waist length and full of loose curls.

Recently she has started to comment about all the folk who stop her in the street to admire her hair. She asked me the other day "why is my hair so special?"

I do remember one occassion though when she insisted she wanted white hair like x 'cos she said "I couldnt be a princess with hair like mine".

i think ginger is lovely.am at natural redheads!

Vallhala,

Tell your dd how beautiful she is every day and remind her the bullies are just jealous.

I have a dd with beautiful long red hair and whilst I clearly think she is the most beautiful thing in the world, I do recognise that in fact, the most beautiful thing about her is her hair. It makes her striking and she stands out in a crowd.

I've always avoided the g word as somehow it seems like a more perjorative word but we call her hair red or titian, and both seem lovely words.

Your dd is a little old for this uplifting point(and I've not had time to read the whole thread so may be repeating points for which sorry, as am shattered, in NY, and need to sleep, but wanted to send you good vibes and belief,) but in case no-one else has mentioned it almost every other Disney heroine has red hair, which PROVES it's the best thing ever. I remember counting them with my dd when she was little - check it out. Can't remember them all now, but Ariel is a great example.

I now have my colourist sneakily trying to highlight my hair to match my dd's as she thinks it's so beautiful.

Tell your daughter she is so lucky to have stunning, different hair, how lucky she is not to be yet another blonde or brunette, and how eye catching she looks.

Of course, all of those are reasons why silly bullies pick on her, because they are jealous. So follow the advice of other posters and get onto the school about their rotten behaviour. But in the meantime, tell her again. Yes, she's beautiful. And lucky.

Thats a good point. Less than 5% of the population apparently have naturally red hair. They're just jealous cos they're ordinary.

My DD has red hair, not looking forward to any tormenting at school. She gets so many compliments out though, she's got specks of blonde through it so she says she's special she has two colours blonde and red

I find that my red hair is turning brown as a I get older which I am quite sad about.
Also, while on the topic. Does everyone have matching 'collars and cuffs' (as my nan used to say)? I know I don't which I find odd- Possibly TMI there.

DD is 7 and has ginger hair (that sort of bright coppery gold tone). If you ever try to tell her she has red hair (or any other variation) she will correct you with a proud, 'no, it is ginger'. She is fab and cheeky and confident and gorgeous (but then I would say that. I dread the day some horrible little fucker tries to destroy that like they did with DS2 (now 16, former auburn redhead darkened to mousey brown with age) .

That said bullies will always find something, if it's not red hair, it's glasses, or being too fat, too skinny, too bookish, too thick, not enough friends, not trendy enough clothes, not the right 'look', too snobby, too common, the list is endless. Bullying is bloody horrible, isn't it

I agree. I have always been envious of people with ginger hair. I also went through a teenage phase of having crushes on all the ginger boys.

I do not find the ginger "put me downs" funny in the slightest. I find it very offensive. You wouldn't make a dig about someones skin colour or disability so what makes it acceptable to have a go at something that someone was born with.

I have incredibly curly incredibly thick incredibly RED hair and............I like it!

However, it has taken a lot for me to even get used to it tbh- school wasn't such a bad time for me, but I was always the "odd one out"- the only ginge in the village IYSWIM. I wasn't bullied but always felt different. It also took a long time for me to learn how to look after my curls, so I just used to brush it and it was heyooge and bushy. Then I discovered mousse and serum and hello, nicer hair. Could a different way of styling help your daughter?

I wouldn't let my 11 year old dye her hair, I'm afraid, as I think a) it's too young and b) what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Both my DDs have ginger hair...one pale, one dark. I've also got it and love it now. It ages really well too. I'm 44 and it just sort of goes lighter It's just hard to deal with as a kid. Mind you - there are loads more ginger kids now then when I was at school - so maybe as it's a little more common it'll be less of a target for bullying.

Both my two daughters have strawberry blonde hair and we get so many comments from people coupled with their beaming smiles they are truly stunning. They are also tal for their ages an have very unusual names. Oh what a target for the bullies. They are both confident (once seen never forgotten emotion) and loud, ooops they sound a complete nightmare but they're not. I feel ver proud to have such beautiful girls.

Mum of two redheads here and very proud!!
DD(8) has a deep copper/auburn colour (my mother calls it Titian) which falls into natural, perfect ringlets.
DS(4) has a paler, sandier red.
We live abroad in a Mediterranean country and the fuss they get from the locals (especially from their beautiful, porcelain skin) is sometimes overwhelming.
Both also have very dark eyes and dark eyelashes which makes them quite striking.

My brother used to gently mock the DCs, calling the eldest "Biscuit" (as in ginger..) but soon shut up when he came home from a week away camping with a magnificent beard of the most lurid red!!!

Karma, my friend.....

I think they are the most beautiful children in the world. And, I'm right!!!!

Ds2 is ginger. I hate it. With a passion.
I love red on girls. Especially a deep glossy red. Most incredibly beautiful.
But my sons hair colour I dispise. I can only hope it changes.

I've always had a 'thing' for red-haired men. Suspect the reaction to your daughter's hair will change dramatically when she hits 17/18 ish. I wouldn't have thought dyeing it was a good idea - red hair tends to be very porous and it might not turn out very well. Having said that, I used to share an office with a girl who had red curly hair and she used to bleach it and it looked okay, but I thought it was a shame she covered up her natural shade. I did ask her about it once [nosey, interfering emoticon] and she pretty much summed up that she'd been bullied for having red hair as a young teenager and started dyeing it and never stopped. I said I thought she ought to stop and she agreed but said it was too hard now and she has a real mental block about it. I think she wishes she'd never started down the blonde route as now it would feel like a huge sea-change to stop dyeing it, even though she acknowledges that her natural colour (which obviously is visible when her roots come through) is really rather nice.

Oh goody Valhalla, you've given me another excuse to share photos of my DS's lovely hair! I think Red hair is gorgeous, mine is just reddish brown, wish it was redder, almost got enough grey to justify dyeing it to match Ds's.

Tell your DD that many men have a passionate loyalty to redheads, in fact some have told me we smell different to other women too (in a good way). Get her a really good haircut and keep it shiny and the compliments will soon outnumber the jibes.

I loved the pre-raphealites too, was always putting my hair in bendy rollers to achieve auburn curls in my youth.

I didn't used to fancy ginger men until I produced ginger sons (DH is mousy) but i now find my self admiring them out of ginger loyalty.

SilentBob- I have just sneaked a peek at your profile, and you are stunningly beautiful!

I have always loved having red hair, and don't seem to have ever had much teasing over it luckily. Sadly it is losing its colour now and going browner. If I say I'm a redhead, people look at my hair puzzled! Will have to find a good dye/hairdresser.