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Original poster

to think that ginger hair

325 replies

Vallhala · 18/11/2009 23:51

is the most beautiful colour and those with it shouldn't be bullied or taken the micky out of but praised instead?

My twelve year old daughter has been bullied at school for the colour of her hair, so much so that she wants to dye it. This is breaking my heart as her hair colour is absolutely gorgeous, a golden red, and she should be proud of it. She's so upset by the bullying and she feels alone and "different".

So, come on all you redheads and Mums of redheaded children - don't you think that red hair is simply stunning? I want to show her that you might get unkind comments as a child by the ignorant people (she's been called a "ginger C" amongst other things) but when you grow up you realise how much good attention ginger hair gets you and how pretty it is.

OP posts:
Ixia · 19/11/2009 14:44

DH is ginger, he was tormented horribly at school. Both he and the in-laws were glad DD isn't ginger - how sad is that .I henna my hair so I'm a fake ginger ;)

gingertoo · 19/11/2009 15:04

As the name suggests - I'm ginger!
I've got very long, naturally very curly ginger hair and I love it! I regularly get comments from complete strangers about how lovely my hair is

but as a child / teen I absolutely hated my hair so I can sympathise with your dd, OP.
It started in late primary with 'gingernut', 'duracell - copper coloured top', moved on in early secondary to 'Annie', 'Mick' (as in MIck Hucknall) and then moved on to the delightful 'ginger minge'. I could now thinking about how horrible it was as a teenage girl having teenage boys (and girls ) discussing the colour of my pubic hair!!!

The turning point came for me psycologically when I saw Nicole Kidman with Tom Cruise in 'Days of Thunder'!! It may seem a bit pathetic to some people, but seeing someone ginger in a lead role, snogging Tom Cruise made me feel just a little bit better about myself - especially when people started comparing my hair to hers..

so, OP, I think the advice so far is good, to try and encourage your dd to see the positives of having beautiful ginger hair

Earthstar · 19/11/2009 15:05

Tell your dd that the most popular colour for adult women to want to change their hair colour to is red

SixtyFootDoll · 19/11/2009 15:09

I find ginger men very sexy

mathanxiety · 19/11/2009 17:22

If she dyed her hair, they would mock her for dyeing it. They will always find something. And it's usually something very obvious, because they don't have much curiosity or imagination.

I have two red haired DDs and I am insanely jealous of them. They don't always understand why. They will appreciate their hair more as they grow older. Oldest (age 19) is already seeing the benefits...

Pushingonthrough · 19/11/2009 17:29

Your poor daughter

I hated the my red hair as a teenager. The ginger pubes jibes were the worst. People still think it's ok to joke about now and I'm nearly thirty! Sadly there will always be dickheads in this world!

I died it every colour under the sun, between the ages of 16 and 20. It looked horrendous, but it made me feel better. It took a long time to eventually grow out, but I've now been red again for 10 years and wouldn't change it for anything. The blokes used to love it (even as a teen!) - and dh thinks it's gorgeous.

However if your daughter does want to dye her hair it is not the end of the world - it does grow back. Surely hair dye diasaters are a rite of passage for all teenagers?

Wash in wash out ones are good to start with, just to tone down the colour a bit.

I remember the teasing well and it's not much fun, poor thing.

thumbwitch · 19/11/2009 17:30

God I hate that this still happens.
I had ginger hair as a child and was teased/bullied for it (also wore glasses, was quite clever, had freckles - was teased/bullied for those too - thank God I wasn't fat as well!)

Your poor DD should be able to wear her hair with pride - gorgeous Titian hair.

I really would like to know where the anti-red thing comes from though - it's bizarre. Even DH has it, despite having a red-haired mother and marrying me - he had a fit at the thought that our child might have red hair! Not so bad if it's a girl, apparently but dreadful on a boy . Luckily (for DS) he has blond hair that is darkening steadily so he will probably end up dark brown, like DH.

Valhalla - I think the red tones in red-blondey hair can fade naturally anyway - mine has almost gone now, it is mostly a mid-blonde colour and it really has to have the sun through it to see any redness (although I do cheat sometimes with Aveda's Rose madder shampoo and conditioner )

Pushingonthrough · 19/11/2009 17:31

disasters

Pushingonthrough · 19/11/2009 17:32

Saying that, 12 is rather young to dye hair IMHO. Bear it in mind for later on though

mathanxiety · 19/11/2009 17:39

Oldest red haired DD used mascara from an early age. And used clear mascara to give her eyebrows a bit of definition. I also gave her the ok to use makeup earlier than I thought I would (about age 13). Gave her a bit of confidence. She was given Bobbi Brown's teenage beauty book (or some title of that sort) which helped her with makeup and also showed her that beauty comes in many different shapes and sizes and looks.

FlumpetMum · 19/11/2009 17:46

How did it ever begin in the first place? At what time in the history of the world I mean? I also regularly dye my hair red.

mabh · 19/11/2009 17:54

I sometimes dye my eyelashes - maybe one for sensitive older teenagers?

My answer to the ginger pubes one is always, 'purple, of course'. You know I last got that one from a grown woman of 50, when I was 36 . They really should see themselves.

Glad to hear all is not lost on the ginger children front. My big bro and Sil both have brown hair but their dd is red, but then they both have ginger rellies. My DH's lot are all black haired but there is some Irish ancestry, so maybe...?

flumpet I've no idea. But it is a UK thing as I said before and as someone else has said - US and Australia love it. Biazarre given that's where most of us are.

katielf · 19/11/2009 18:36

I married a wonderful red haired hotty and now have a beautiful redhaired ds who is 11 weeks old. My hubby spent time at school being teased and bullied about his hair colour.

This is just a phase and the bullies will unfortunatley move onto someone and something else very soon, as they are small minded indviduals. Your dd should try not to show that the bullies are bothering her and when they find out that they are having no effect on her they will leave her alone. This worked for my husband. In years to come the bullies will probably try to dye thier hair this colour!!

As many people have already posted, other people dye their hair this colour because it is a beautiful colour.Your dd has been blessed with this hair colour, trust me I have black/brown and have dyed mine over the years to try and be a red head!!

I can only hope people's small mindedness improves before my ds reaches school!!

audley · 19/11/2009 18:49

I'm ginger and I was bullied about it at school, but I never cared because my dad (usually cold and distant) liked to comb my hair and said it was like spun gold, bless him. I've forgiven him all sorts just because of that!

SkipToMyLou · 19/11/2009 19:06

The answer to ginger pubes can be found on my thread here following my discovery this morning...

And another vote for clear mascara, I'd almost forgotten about that, OK for eyes but brill on eyebrows!

canella · 19/11/2009 19:08

Vallhala - it must be hard for your dd and although a lot of people have said (and sadly its true) that bullies will pick on anything it doesnt make it easier for your dd! i wasnt bullied for my red hair - prob cause i grew up in scotland and there were lots of redheaded kids in the class! dd (8) has inherited my beuatiful colour too - so pleased that she has and there doesnt seem to be any bullying about it where we live (germany)

gingertoo - think we must be lookalikes - i also have long, curly red hair although its going a dark red now as it gets less sun! i have never died it and absolutely love it!

hope your dd reads all this vallhala and gets some confidence from all us beautiful red headed women!

MarianneM · 19/11/2009 19:11

My 12-month-old daughter has darkish red /auburn hair and she gets so many admiring comments all the time. Her hair is such a lovely colour, really striking. I only hope it stays like that!

treedelivery · 19/11/2009 19:14

Oh here too, bullied and bullied. I probably would have been anyway, but th ered was a big focus.

As mother to 2 very red headed daughters I will let them dye their hair. I will try and instill a love of thier hair and a healthy contempt for those who would scorn the minority...but I'm expecting the nagging to start at about 10.

I will also take them to have their eyebrows and lashed tinted as soon as they feel the need.

The most upsetting thing for me was being so white whilst back packing. And the freckles.

MarianneM · 19/11/2009 19:17

P.S. Show your daughter a picture of Rachel Hurd-Wood, a stunningly beautiful 19-year-old British actress, and a redhead!

treedelivery · 19/11/2009 19:20

thier? TYPO!!! their

StrictlyKatty · 19/11/2009 19:21

I think ginger is STUNNING!

DanJARMouse · 19/11/2009 19:23

YANBU

My dd2 has the most gorgeous red hair, and my DS has red hair too. I really hope neither of them dye it as they get older.

Im not too concerned about DD2's hair because it is such a deep shade of auburn - not ginger, but DS is ginge!

I would be fuming about bullying based on hair colour and be ensuring the school are doing EVERYTHING possible to ensure it doesnt happen!

pollydianasmummy · 19/11/2009 19:24

I'm a red-head and so is my 5.5 month old daughter. We all think she looks like a mini Lily Cole - all cute round face and big eyes.

I was mocked initially for having red hair when I went to 6th form (a mainly boys school) then suddenly I became everyone's cup of tea. It was around the same time that the X files was popular and all the boys fancied the red-hair woman. So they decided I was the next best 'real' thing for the object of their desire. Anyway, what I am saying is that it's a fad and at the end of the day, people will still fancy you and see you for what you are. My husband fancied me initially for my red hair.

And a lot of the darker haired and mousey brown people, will probably have ginger pubes. And lots of men, who are not ginger on top, end up having ginger beards. The ginger gene is everywhere, even when you least expect it.

RubysReturn · 19/11/2009 19:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FlossieT · 19/11/2009 22:12

@kreecherlivesupstairs, re strawberry blonde: I'm often tempted to describe my daughter's hair as this colour - because it looks completely different colours depending on what she's wearing. Put her in pale blue and mauve things, she looks blonde with a hint of red; dark purple or most shades of green, flaming ginger.

Most odd. It's so comforting to see so many positive messages here in support of the redheads (I've got two - the eldest is much more definitely red, although even his is sort of 'variegated' with blond). I do think it's true, though that
(1) it's OK to be red-haired as an adult woman
(2) it's still not OK to be red-haired as an adult man (judging by the self-deprecatory remarks of my red-headed male friends - even the ones who are beginning to look more sandy nowadays
(3) it's definitely not OK to be red-haired as a child, regardless of sex.

On the other hand, my kids go to a Catholic primary with some very strong Celtic genes so even though there are still narky comments, at least there is some ginger solidarity to fall back on...