to be pissy with the way dh "looked after" ds today?

[phdlife]

There's more to it than this but the main thing was feeding ds (2.7). I was supposed to be having some time off, out with a friend, but that didn't really work out so I was around a lot more than I intended and am stressy about what I saw.

Afaik, today ds got a small bowl of sweet flakes, a few bites he stole from my bread/cheese and then dh's bread/cheese, several biscuits and a bit more cheese, some grapes (that I nagged dh into giving - instant request for more from ds), some of a babychino, several more biscuits and cheese. By biscuit I mean home-made gingerbread.

Finally at the evening meal he got spag bol with extra veg, which he scoffed, then 2nds and 3rds. Then dessert which he insisted include fruit, yoghurt and another biscuit.

Ds is an awesome eater and normally with me he'd have had lots more food, including fruit and veg and other forms of protein (meat, peanut butter) throughout the day. Afa dh is concerned, ds ate a large evening meal and that's terrific, IABU. I think it's shitty to keep a little one that hungry, and poorly nourished, even if ds was having too much fun to complain for most of the day.

I know I can be a bit weirdy about food as I tend to hypoglycemia and it makes me so insane I can't bear anyone else to be hungry, but am I really being that unreasonable?

Ditto Gibbon on both points. x

Agree with other posters that this sounds like an okay diet (certainly for now and again anyway). As long as you DH isn't doing anything really unwise/irresponsible I would just leave him to it. Otherwise it might ruin his time with his DS, as he will constantly be stressing about whether he is doing the right thing. I'd be interested to know whether your DS's grandparents stick to your diet preferences when they are visiting/looking after him too.

BTW, when I first left DD (approx 12mths at the time) with DH for overnight (as I was away with work), I wrote a long list for him of exactly what he should do and when re. food, drink, sleep etc (control freak I know!). I didn't however write down the times when DD should have a drink as I just presumed DH would give her a cup of juice now and again throughout the day. When I got back after 2 full days away, I discovered that DH had only given DD her morning and bedtime milk and NO other drinks for the whole 2 days. Apparently cos it wasn't on the list he hadn't thought to! The problem with being too prescriptive and too much of a control freak is that your DH will stop thinking for himself. He is your DS's dad and I'm sure he will do the right thing if left to his own devices.

What is the "more to it" here, because I don't understand what the problem is? OP, do you have an eating disorder yourself or something? Is this why you are over-anxious about food? I don't get it.

I'm with Reality, I think it's a backwards OP: 'Am I being unreasonable to... ?'

It's a bit weird this - because you say things like 'a few grapes I nagged dh into giving him' - if you were there and were concerned, wouldn't you have given your ds something different? Afaic, if you are both there, you're both doing the parenting, even if you're 'supposed' to be out. Don't get the 'this is my free time, so I'm going to watch you and criticise, but not actually feed my child who I think is hungry, even though they're really happy, have eaten loads and a balanced diet across the day.'

Strange.

Where is OP?

Do you think she's out, or not responding as most everyone is telling her 'yes' she is bu?

PHD is posting from Oz, so time difference will be why she has not replied.

Ah ok, thanks.

She'll likely be a bit surprised when she next checks this thread!

She may well be in Oz - but she posted at 11.30am (UK) time yesterday morning, and it's now 9pm Sunday evening........

If I were her I'd have hidden the thread frankly.

Hang on a minute. If it was one day, sure, but every poster here seems to be taking it for granted that snacks and no lunch is fine, because it's just one day. Which is true, obviously. But the point I think she's trying to make is that she is the one who has to take responsibility for feeding the kids properly. Her DH decided to "look after" his own kids to give her some time off, and in that time he fed them what was either junk or snippets of his own food. I don't think irritation at having to be the one to think about a nutritious diet is unreasonable, no, and if she fed the main meal and her DH the daytime stuff then I'd think that was a bit much myself. Her DH is an adult, and filling a kid with sugar to avoid cooking is not okay from a parent. Treat days are when you go out/are ill/birthdays/a friend or relative is babysitting. Not because you think wifey can bother with such trivia, while you babysit your own kid "for her".

DS quite often doesn't eat lunch. He eats a massive breakfast and dinner but either refuses or just picks at lunch. Common lunches for DS will be a combination of toast and peanut butter, cheese, tomatoes, grapes, raisins, banana and yoghurt.

DS will now tell me at 3.4 if he is hungry or thirsty. At 2.7 he never told me.

Babycino is free in Pizza Express. It's basically a cappucino without the coffee. So warm frothy milk with chocolate sprinkled on top.

nappy - he might not have told you - but I bet he let you know if he wanted food or drink (even if you had to offer him 50 option before you got to what he wanted).

perfectstorm - that's quite an assumption (or set of) you've made there.

always No he really never let me know at that age. I would just offer him food or drink when I realised he hadn't had any for a while. He did however let me know when he wasn't hungry or thirsty by refusing whatever I offered him.

and I thought my children were odd - or maybe they're just greedy little buggers, they've always cried/whinge when they were hungry/thirsty

I am guessing the you added there was meant to soften the blow of that fairly upsetting comment? Excuse me for being so sensitive but I don't really like people telling me my child is odd especially when the reason isn't that odd at all.

wasn't meant to be upsetting my children are odd, there's no bones about it I have strange children.

Yes but it's one thing saying it yourself in a jokey affectionate way about your own DC and it's another thing having someone else tell you they think your child is odd.

sheesh NA - I wasn't saying your children were odd. Don't you know me better than that by now? I always end up putting my foot in my mouth and things coming out the wrong way.

Well when you said "and I thought my children were odd" to me that implied that you thought my DS was odd for not letting me know if he was hungry or thirsty.

no! that's my foot in mouth again putting stuff the wrong wa - sorry

Glad we cleared that up I nearly didn't say anything and thought oh just leave it, it's not important what some stranger on the internet thinks, but I'm glad I did now because now I know you don't actually think that anyway. Sorry I'm rambling hope that makes some sort of sense.

alwayslookingforanswers - the OP stated she is irritated that her husband didn't feed their small child adequately, when he was supposed to be giving her a break with childcare. My DH did that, I'd be pissed off too. He's a co-parent, not a babysitter. What part of that statement is an assumption, when multiple posters accusing her of being neurotic isn't? Nobody here has the full picture, and I don't see why on earth it should have been down to her to ensure her child was properly fed when his father was meant to be caring for him. I disagree with your own set of assumptions. That's what AIBU is about.

Loving the passive aggressive emoticon, btw. I prefer this one, myself.