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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissy with the way dh "looked after" ds today?

133 replies

phdlife · 14/11/2009 11:30

There's more to it than this but the main thing was feeding ds (2.7). I was supposed to be having some time off, out with a friend, but that didn't really work out so I was around a lot more than I intended and am stressy about what I saw.

Afaik, today ds got a small bowl of sweet flakes, a few bites he stole from my bread/cheese and then dh's bread/cheese, several biscuits and a bit more cheese, some grapes (that I nagged dh into giving - instant request for more from ds), some of a babychino, several more biscuits and cheese. By biscuit I mean home-made gingerbread.

Finally at the evening meal he got spag bol with extra veg, which he scoffed, then 2nds and 3rds. Then dessert which he insisted include fruit, yoghurt and another biscuit.

Ds is an awesome eater and normally with me he'd have had lots more food, including fruit and veg and other forms of protein (meat, peanut butter) throughout the day. Afa dh is concerned, ds ate a large evening meal and that's terrific, IABU. I think it's shitty to keep a little one that hungry, and poorly nourished, even if ds was having too much fun to complain for most of the day.

I know I can be a bit weirdy about food as I tend to hypoglycemia and it makes me so insane I can't bear anyone else to be hungry, but am I really being that unreasonable?

OP posts:
wonka · 14/11/2009 15:56

Its hot frothy milk.. And one day of snacky eating from an uncomplaining child is not the end of the world YABU

dorisbonkers · 14/11/2009 15:57

I'd be pissy to have the time and effort I spent looking after my own child put in inverted commas ...

My husband spends 3 days a week looking after my daughter, who is 13 months and self feeds. He sometimes offers too much of one thing in my opinion, but it's his call, his time and his effort. And she's his child too.

MeAndMyMonkey · 14/11/2009 15:57

am struggling to see what was inadequate about the food. Not trying to be rude but I mean your ds eats more than I do some days, and I can really be quite greedy!

pigletmania · 14/11/2009 16:04

Thanks Jackbauer a babychino fgs how pretentious wtf.

Booyhoo · 14/11/2009 16:10

this has made me laugh so much.

love babychino wtf?

2rebecca · 14/11/2009 16:59

Sounds fine, on a weekend we often have 1 healthy meal and 1 more rubbishy meal. Sometimes it's just a late breakfast then early eve meal and snacks in between, otherwise you can feel as though you're permanantly preparing, eating and clearing up after meals and have no time for anything else.

OrmIrian · 14/11/2009 17:10

Oh dear.

I think it sounds fine TBH.

If you are going to let someone else look after DS you have to leave them to it. Ezpecially if it's his father. Will he let him starve? Or poison him? Answer is no. So chill

bubblagirl · 14/11/2009 17:13

oh to add sometimes we don't eat lunch but have really big dinner if we have snacked a lot lunch is left out and dinner is big your ds had lots of dinner and veg so all good from what i see allow your dh to make decisions and don't let them worry you he fed and watered and played with child who appeared very happy with his day

he will never make decisions that will harm your child and you cannot expect him to do as you do two parenting styles is great for any child as long as its not gorging on junk all day then i see no problem so dont worry yourself you both do good just differently

Lulumama · 14/11/2009 17:18

ok, let's break this down

breakfast - sweet flakes, like frosties? with some bread and cheese

snack - home made gingerbread, lots of it, more cheese and fruit

no lunch to speak of, but the fruit , cheese and gingerbread would have been filling and fairly nutritious

evening meal - spag bol and veg, x 3 portions, followed by fruit, yoghurt and gingerbread

that seems like a good day's worth of food, i don't see anything processed or shitey, the cereal might have been a bit rubbishy, but on the whole, an excellent days food for a small child and more than i ate on thursday and friday when i was working like a loon!!

do you think he was hungry due to the fact he ate 3 lots of evening meal? if he was hungry, at 2.7 i would expect him to be able to ask for food and say he was hungry

if you thought he was hugnry you should have said something then

how much more do you expect him to eat ? he had two formal meals and a massive snack that was prob equivalent to lunch

the first sentence, " there's more to it than this....' is niggling

what else is going on?

sounds like you have food ishhoooooes, which you are proecting

in your defecen, i know you have been mega stressed lately

p/s YABU to be pissy, your DH kep him fed on good wholesome food and presumably played with and interacted with him, and you would probably driving him nuts hovering around

purpleduck · 14/11/2009 17:22

So he had:
Breakfast: cereal
Lunch - which was spread out - cheese, bread, grapes, biscuits
Dinner- Spag Bol

Seems ok to me.

We ALWAYS forget lunch on weekends dunno why.
Are you upset that lunch wasn't a sit down affair?

purpleduck · 14/11/2009 17:24

sorry lulu

x posted

cece · 14/11/2009 17:37

I have two questions?

What is a babychino?

and

It was your day off, why on earth were you hanging around the house?! I'd have been outta that door! LOL

Booyhoo · 14/11/2009 17:40

cece, apparantley its what starbucks call warm milk.

BitOfFun · 14/11/2009 17:40
Biscuit
maxybrown · 14/11/2009 18:07

Cor I'd be lucky if DS ate that in a WEEK!!!! lol.

pispirispis · 14/11/2009 20:57

So do they have to charge you less if you ask for a cup of warm milk then?

moondog · 14/11/2009 21:41

You are a gibbering lunatic Phd.

Lotster · 14/11/2009 21:48

Ok took the kids to Pizza Express earlier and son had kids menu. It comes with a "Bambinocino". I shit you not.
Still just a cup of warm froth..

stickylittlefingers · 14/11/2009 22:08

I think it's quite nice how the little ones get to drink fancified warm milk while the adults get to drink fancified coffee - equality of ponciness!

Re the eating - well, I'm sure the "there's more to this" would explain the whole thing. But of course it was fine, YABU - but I know other mothers who insist on giving their children an evening meal when they come home from nursery, whereas I think they've had 3 square meals and snacks galore, so a banana would do them fine. One of the other mothers is one of my best friends, so I never own up to "not feeding" the dc, cos she would think I was BU.

Live and let live, don't grind axes, make more hay (wtf were you doing at home on your day off - I'd have had the runners on before you could say Jack )

StShakey · 14/11/2009 22:19

Jeeeeeezus..... You're so lucky your DS ate that much!!! The last time mine ate that much was, ummmmm...

ummmm...

umm...

Oh yer! Never

(Still perfectly happy and healthy though)

skinsl · 14/11/2009 23:51

YABU
be thankful that your DH was up for looking after him all day..they had fun

be thankful that you had the opportunity for a "day off" even if it didn't work out that well

Be thankful that your child eats.
Mine ate 1 mouthful of breakfast cereal and half a cocktail sausage all day

MaMight · 15/11/2009 10:42

Eh? Why be thankful that her husband looked after his own children? Don't understand.

skinsl · 15/11/2009 10:48

Er..because not everyone has DP/DH or anyone to help give some "time off"

verytellytubby · 15/11/2009 11:03

The food sounds fine.

What's the other issues?

JibberJabber09 · 15/11/2009 11:14

I totally agree with OP - I would have been really annoyed if my OH had done that too. I spend hours and hours making my DS healthy meals, so that he has a well balanced diet. If my OH were to look after my DS for one day to allow ME a day off, I would expect my son to have a proper lunch, not just snacks throughout the day. I want him to have a good feeding routine, not just biscuits and cheese. I would be furious!! I put in so much effort with his food the rest of the time, surely my OH could do it for one day?? For everyone else that seems to think it is ok for their OHs to feed their kids rubbish throughout the day you are too leniant on them!! It was lazy of him.