to still be annoyed by being questioned on whether my DS was MINE when flying - because we have different surnames?

[mojomama]

i really just need to 'park it' BUT - when recently flying with my 14month old, a jumped-up passport control bloke detained me and questioned "how do i know he's yours?", because my son has a different surname to me, and, after I'd being driven to the point of apoplexy, suggested, in future, i "travel with a letter from his father giving permission"!!!! What if his dad had passed away?! i was sooo cross, but he started to look like he wouldn't let me board so i calmed down enough to get past him - AIBU???

Just skimmed through again and have seen people saying that thier kids have both parents surnames hyphenated - my ds does too, and I was still told that it was technically a differnt surname to mine, even though one of his surnames is mine, by the NZ embassy, and still had to take all my documents with me when I travelled there alone with ds.

• and we had to wait for 45mins after the 24hr flight while all documents were checked!

Here in France, interestingly enough, when you hyphenate a child's surname by combining both parents' names, there are two hyphens! In order to make clear that it is not a different name, but a combination surname.

Not in England, however.

So DD has two versions...

Bloody, hell, how complicated!!!

I have travelled with ds quite a lot on my own over the past few years, so I just take copies of all documents and a letter from DH at all times just to be on the safe side. It seems there are different rules for everywhere.

We often travel as a family with the DSSs and, despite our odd combination of passports, nationalities, names and parentage, have never been questioned about what we are up to. Maybe we look too respectable!

DP positively prides himself on never ever being questioned by passport control people, stopped by policemen etc

In June I took my youngest dc to Kosova to visit my parents. I hadn't even thought I might need to prove he was mine or that I wasn't taking him out without dhs consent.
He does have my surname but really that means nothing. I could have been running away from DH. It wouldn't bothered me to take paperwork but noone in all my organising suggested I might need to.
His passport pic was taken at 5 days old. We travelled at 6 weeks and he looked nothing like it by then anyway. In fact they didn't even look at him, he was fast asleep snuggled up in mt wrap

My kids have their dad's surname and I've never been questioned, although when tiny they were on my passport anyway and sice having their own they've been able to tell people I'm their mum. When my dad travelled with them he needed a letter from me saying he had my permission although was never asked for it.
I can imagine with kid too young to say you're mum that possibly questionning you isn't that unreasonable. Next time you could just carry your son's birth certificate.

bucharest - people are just having a moan to others with similar experiences - relax

and I don't think anyone disagrees with the practice - its the officious sneery rude customs officials that I have the problem with. Yes by all means do your job, but be pleasant and polite about it. with a bit of common sense too

henryhuggins

I am British, dd and dp (we aren't married) are Italian. I travel abroad with dd on my own a minimum of 6 times a year. Dd has his surname. I sometimes get asked. I produce the docs I've been asked to produce. I'm totally relaxed about it.

What I don't get on this thread is why people can't understand the whole child protection thing? Yes, it would be nice if it didn't happen, and so those of us with international families weren't put to the inconvenience of carrying an extra bit of paper round with us, likewise most of us would still like to take a video film of our child's nativity, but we aren't allowed to do that either.....t'is unfortunately the way of the world.

FYI Customs officials work for the inland revenue people. Now't at all to do with the Border Agency.

If you have a problem with the BA people then make a complaint to the Home Office. They take these things very seriously.

I've travelled many times with my (different-surnamed) son and have never experienced this.