in thinking that if we have monthly income of £3700 net we could spare £120 to spend on a cleaner?

[effedorf]

3+ years posting here, namechange for obvious reasons.

But, seriously, what do you think?

The income all comes from dh and I am sahm. We have two primary school age children. I truly hate cleaning and I do 95% of the food shopping and cooking and 100% of the laundry and 95% of all the other things that makes a family tick over.

Or am I being unreasonable?

well that's nice for you bodycolder but as the OP has already said her DH doesn't want a cleaner I think she'd have more chance of coming to agreement if there was a decent reason, rather than can't be arsed.

inghouls...if he does he's a bit of a wanker!!!

i GUARANTEE that he spends money on things that make his life easier, more fun, sweeter, or just in order to avoid drossiness.

without giving it a second thought nevermind thinking that his wife is going to resent him for it!!!

there you go, there's your answer OP, do you resent your dh for the luxuries that he affords himself in order to make his life nicer.

Inghouls, don't worry about my DH -he loves going to work and has quite a glamorous job and would never ever give it up or cut down his hours.

OP do you have £120 a month to spare? I mean, £3700 may sound a lot (to me) but not if your outgoings are high. Maybe your DH doesnt want a cleaner as you cant afford one. Or would prefer to use the £1400 a year on giving both of you a break (i.e. a holiday)

She is honest they have the money so what is the problem? He will soon get o like the lovely clean house and more time to do nice things

You should get a job and pay for cleaner yourself. What is it you do all day if your kids are at school? Cleaning doesn't take that long surely?! You're not working, kids at school, you sound a bit lazy!

'Can't be arsed' is a really over-simplistic analysis isn't it?

The income that 'is no great shakes' has to be earned by someone. Being the main earner (and the only one for a while) I guess I feel a bit more protective towards that hard earned cash than some.

kerrrist...she isn't choosing between cleaners and minibreaks...and frankly if it came to that choice maybe she'd consider it worth it!

are none of you in PARTNERSHIPS? as in not 'yours' and 'mine' but rather 'ours'?

hmm 'consider the lillies of the field, that neither reap nor sow..'

life isn't all about toil. that's why its nice to spend time I could spend cleaning on Mumsnet.

possibly, ask yourself if your husband wanted X that you didn't think was necessary and cost £100 pm - would you say yes?

will your kids clean for cash? you could sell that to DH as 'character building'

agree sophable

I am the only one working outside the home in our household at the moment and I work bloody hard.

We have 3 dcs all at school and I am completlely pissed off at the low standards my dh has in relation to keeping the place clean and tidy ( and I am pretty slovenly myself)but do not discuss this with him as it would escalate into a massive row

I would not be pleased if he suggested getting a cleaner and spending £120 on one. I don't particularly like my work, he gets to sit at home for hours on end ,(believe me, he does) he should bloody well do most of the housework.

Sorry for swearing but I am mightily pissed off

orm it sounds like you resent being the sole breadwinner. that is altogether another issue isn't it?

her dh loves his job. (i've got visions of a sort of robert wagner in the 80s type on planes a lot now)

right, so I've just asked my dh.. His response was... fulltime school for the dc, SAHM why does she need a cleaner?
me.. she doesn't like it but does all the cooking and washing
him...laugh.. that's just lazy.

and before anyone asks , everything I earn goes straight into a joint account that we both can use as we please.

Just not for a cleaner!

Dh loves his work aswell, it is good for him and he has a great time.

Maybe that's why it's depressing to think that women at home have to be bogged down cleaning to make it equitable.

I am in a partnership, we both work, contribute to all bills and do equal chores and childcare. It doesnt' seem like OP is holding up her end of the bargain, he's working and providing all money, kids at school, and she doesn't want to clean the house. How is that fair?!

nula, again you resent working...that is different.

her dh would never not work. he is doing what he wants to do. why shouldn't she???

2 hrs a week at £10 an hour is only 80 a month.Get cleaner for the bits you really hate and do the day to day yourself

If this were a SAHD though, I wonder how many people would still be agreeing?

I mean OP is a male - wife goes to work 6 days a week, earns good money, kids at school all day, I cant be assed to clean would much rather go to pub/play footie/read the paper, we can afford it, shall I get a cleaner?

how many Mnetters would agree then? Honestly??

You're assuming that her DH is doing what he wants to do, aren't you?

He might be stressed up, feeling a bit of sole-provider-pressure in the credit crunch, working all hours etc.

We don't know his side of the picture do we?

I was the only earner for a while. I like to think I was as protective of DH as I was of 'my' earnings.

Had we had that income when I was a SAHM we would have had a cleaner. I found housework truly a hard grind. Dreadful. And I'm not lazy.

jesusmaryandjoseph.

there is SO MUCH more to sahmotherhood, or rather sahparenthood than cleaning. it is not the important bit.

the attitude seems to be: 'you lucky bitch for being at home, you should get on your hands and knees and scrub that floor for the privilege!'...wtf?

Dh def spends £100 per month on Pret A Manger sandwiches and coffee and quick drinks out after work and newspapers to read on the tube home. Easily.