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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in thinking that if we have monthly income of £3700 net we could spare £120 to spend on a cleaner?

769 replies

effedorf · 01/11/2009 20:03

3+ years posting here, namechange for obvious reasons.

But, seriously, what do you think?

The income all comes from dh and I am sahm. We have two primary school age children. I truly hate cleaning and I do 95% of the food shopping and cooking and 100% of the laundry and 95% of all the other things that makes a family tick over.

Or am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
CheekyGirl · 01/11/2009 22:58

This is fascinating!!! Honestly, is £3700 per month seen as not that much for a family of four!!!??? We have considerably less (about £700 less, actually)and that's dh full time and me part time. I wouldn't class us as rich, but certainly nowhere near poor? Or are we?

Would love a cleaner btw!!

MarshaBrady · 01/11/2009 22:58

Exactly effedorf.

Get a cleaner, make your life easier, but most of all get away from the drudgery and relentless nature of cleaning.

Heathcliffscathy · 01/11/2009 22:58

you know, i imagine that many people don't spend all the time they are at work working. do they?

any of you that work do any mning from work for example?

DreamsInPyrotechnics · 01/11/2009 22:59

As I read it, OP stays at home so that DH can work in a job he loves, not DH works so OP can stay at home.

Getting a cleaner for three hours a week hardly constitutes sitting on her arse all week, surely?

Heathcliffscathy · 01/11/2009 23:00

mummee first thing work out why you need to 'persuade'. why does the decision lie with him? surely the decision should be based on whether you have the money. if you do, then get one.

Mummee · 01/11/2009 23:00

SAHM with cleaners please give advice on how to get hubby to let you have one.

onemoretimetoday · 01/11/2009 23:01

Mummee. Not a SAHM at the moment but have been in the past. My DH grew up with cleaners, his mum still has one 5 days a week, he was just relieved when I said we only needed twice a week and so long as it means he doesn't have to do anything he'll agree to whatever I want.

Inghouls2 · 01/11/2009 23:02

so come on then effe... tell us really why doesn't your dh want a cleaner?
can you really afford to hand over that money without batting a eyelash?

Jajas · 01/11/2009 23:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Quattrofangs · 01/11/2009 23:07

"quattro what kind of world do you inhabit that you think that if you get a cleaner once a week you sit at home on your arse the rest of the time?"

I inhabit a very busy and time-starved planet. I can assure you that I could get all those chores you have listed completed (as I do) in no more than two hours a day. One hour if I am struggling for time.

I don't think you can make the case for needing a cleaner here. It's testing whether or not the want is reasonable.

How about if the OP offers to make her DH's sandwiches up to Pret standards every day and in return gets the money for the cleaner.

Mummee · 01/11/2009 23:11

Onemore you're in the minority LOL, we need mo SAHM advocating for cleaners to tell us how they achieved this.

I will keep calling for them.

Effe do you think you can afford a cleaner? What unnecessary spend of hubby's do you think he can do without to allow you a cleaner.

Was the decision to not work joint, his or yours?

Original poster
effedorf · 01/11/2009 23:11

My dh's reaction will be the same as some of those on this thread - how can you not find a spare 3 hours a week?

The lack of understanding that cleaning is thankless, meaningless, relentless, dirty, drudgy and boring, is what gets to me. I already do a huge amount of that stuff (laundry and shopping/cooking alone) it seems a small price to pay for some relief for me. Others might choose to spend that money on clothes or beauty treatments or tennis lessons or weekend minibreaks (thats a little bit Bridget Jones isn't it) but I am quite cheap to run in those respects.

I am not lazy.

OP posts:
Inghouls2 · 01/11/2009 23:12

Absolutely Quattro..
I did snort at the needing time to sort out family holidays

Quattrofangs · 01/11/2009 23:13

"so quattro if you get promoted, and that takes some of the draggy bits away...for eg if you don't have to do your own admin any more!

I don't do my own admin. My PA does all that. Instead of admin, I get to listen to team members complaining about someone sniffing in a snorty way (seriously) and make people redundant. Trust me, there are draggy and painful bits at every level.

TheFallenMadonna · 01/11/2009 23:14

Quattro - I think that when you are pushed for time, as DH and I are now we are both working full time, you can become focused on that. Obviously the OP has plenty of time to do the cleaning. But she hates it. And God knows it can be miserable if you are not that way inclined. Of course it's down to affordability. DH didn't resign from the job that was making him miserable until one of us had another source of income. But as a general principle, if yiu can make your partner's life better, you would, wouldn't you? Without quantifying contributions in such a narrow way?

Inghouls2 · 01/11/2009 23:16

so is this actually more about your dh not appreciating what you do?
It sounds to me like you do actually need a small job or studying or something

MarshaBrady · 01/11/2009 23:16

There may be crappy things involved in most careers.

But the nature of careers is that they progress. You feel as if you have moved on since you started. More money, more autonomy.

Cleaning for years on end gets you nowhere. It is boring to the extreme. Get help and be free from the cleaning monotony.

DreamsInPyrotechnics · 01/11/2009 23:17

Quattro, sophable asked about someone taking away the draggy bits - whatever they are - and used admin as an example.

Fabulous that you don't do your own admin, but not hugely helpful to the point.

TheFallenMadonna · 01/11/2009 23:20

To make her DH happy Ingles?

Mummee · 01/11/2009 23:20

SAHM with cleaners please give advice on how to get hubby to let you have one.

Penthesileia · 01/11/2009 23:20

Can you afford it as a family? If yes, then go for it, if it would make you happier.

See, what I'd like to know is, what would MN say to a man who came on here saying, "I earn £3700 a month net, and my wife is a SAHM. The kids are at school, but she wants to get a cleaner for 3 whole hours a week . Shouldn't she be doing it herself? It's not that I we can't afford it; it's the principle of the thing, doncha know. It's about taking responsibility. She's not keeping her end of the bargain. Incidentally, I love my job, and spend a mini-fortune on Pret sandwiches each month."

Do you think the MN-massive would be kind to this man???

Inghouls2 · 01/11/2009 23:22

no of course not... for herself. From her last post she doesn't sound a very happy SAHM.

Penthesileia · 01/11/2009 23:22

And people saying that there are elements of every job which are disagreeable and painful. Ok, sure. But if you were able to change them, you would, right? You wouldn't endure them unnecessarily.

TheFallenMadonna · 01/11/2009 23:22

I've run this by DH. He says in the current climate if you can create paid empolyment for someone else without risk to yourself you have a duty to do so

Mummee · 01/11/2009 23:27

LOL fallenmadonna you must hold on tightly to him as well as get him to swop numbers with Effe's hubby...

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