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Original poster

To think that it is cruel not to allow your children to go trick or treating?

272 replies

treatortrick · 31/10/2009 16:34

And mean not to open the door to trick or treaters?

Friend has told her children that they cannot go trick or treating as it is begging.

She has also said she will not be opening the door to anyone who comes calling.

Her children are missing out and IMO this is cruel.

OP posts:
DanJARMouse · 31/10/2009 20:59

I do not think it is cruel. To me cruel is beating a child, refusing them food and water etc.

I havent gone trick or treating with my children this year, and have put a note on my door asking for people not to knock, and so far my wishes have been respected.

My chidlren are 5,4 and nearly 2yrs old. I never went trick or treating when I was younger, and although we have taken the kids out in the past (twice) I decided not to do it this year.

I am the parent, it is my choice. Trick or treating should just be called "treating" to be honest because no one ever gives out tricks - its all sweets. Why would my 5,4 and nearly 2yr olds need a bucket full of sweets each? They get treats at home.

I may well take the kids out next year, we will see! Right now with where I am mentally I wasnt in the mood for it. My kids havent gotten upset over it, and have welcomed their treats at home today.

TrickOrTreatersDragOnYourNoose · 31/10/2009 20:59

"do you avoid celebrating Christmas and Easter too, since they're also just thinly-repackaged pagan festivals?"

No they aren't. Whatever the dates represented in the pagan past, they are now used to celebrate part of the story of Jesus and thus are Christian celebrations.

TrickOrTreatersDragOnYourNoose · 31/10/2009 21:00

I don't understand why anyone would have a problem with that TBH.

ChunkyMonkeysMum · 31/10/2009 21:02

I don't disagree with "celebrating" Halloween, I just don't agree with Trick or Treating.

If you want to have some fun, why can't you do it at home? What about decorating the house, dressing the kids up, apple bobbing, having a bit of a party. Much more fun than dragging the kids round in the cold for a few measly sweets!!

I agree with you wannaBe - Fireworks displays should be limited to organised displays only. We can be mean together !!

Rolf · 31/10/2009 21:05

We've just had a lovely time trick or treating. The children dressed up, we knocked on the doors of our neighbours (who we know), the children were all drilled rigorously about knocking only once and respecting people who didn't want to answer, saying thank you and not grabbing loads of sweets. The other children in our road came to our house afterwards for hot chocolate. It was a special evening that didn't involve an excessive outlay or planning, and we feel warm and fuzzy towards our neighbours, especially those without young children who made an effort.

Penthesileia · 31/10/2009 21:17

I used to love Halloween when we lived in Canada and the US. It was so much fun! Loved dressing up, etc. We were primed by our parents not to expect too much candy, and some people gave fruit or little games. But it was just the thrill of dressing up, and then enjoying the person at the door complimenting your costume, or saying "oooh, aren't you a scary ghost/witch/vampire/whatever". . My parents are Scottish, so the Trick or Treat/guising thing wasn't alien to them when we lived out there.

People are taking the piss out of America, but they do do these things quite well. Halloween, Independence Day, Thanksgiving. Lots of fun. Done well in small-town America.

We've only had one sweet little zombie and skeleton brother and sister pair round our way. I had a huge stash of sweeties and chocolates ready to hand out, but presumably everyone on my street is a MNer!

Nevermind, my students will enjoy it next week.

fishflange · 31/10/2009 21:19

I took the batteries out of the doorbell.
I am mean, cruel and heartless.

bibbitybobbitycat · 31/10/2009 21:22

My dc have just had a really enjoyable afternoon helping me carve the pumpkin, decorate fairy cakes with spider webs and light candles in our living room. We met up with 10 little school friends and their parents (and grandparent in one case) at our house, had a sparkler in the front garden and then went out trick or treating along 3 streets in our neighbourhood, knocking only at houses with pumpkins lit or those of people we know. We probably went to 12 houses where we were greeted at the door by people mainly dressed in halloween costume making scary hoohoohoohoohooohoo noises and the kids came home with a haul of about 25 sweets. We've answered our door to about 10 rings tonight, mostly from little ones with parents in tow, or groups like ours.

It was fun. It was like a street party. We met loads of people we know along the way and stopped and had chats. To dismiss this harmless, child-centred community activity as "begging" is surely po-faced to the nth degree.

HoorahHilda · 31/10/2009 21:26

AGREE and well said trickortreatersgragonyour.

MillyR · 31/10/2009 21:29

One of my neighbours (next street, so sort of neighbour) opened the door to my 8 year old, who said 'trick or treat.'

The woman (who had a snarling dog in the doorway) bent down and screamed in my dd's face, 'how dare you extort money from people with threats of violence. Never come here again.'

Then she slammed the door.

I think that if you don't like trick or treaters, you could just put a note on your door saying so.

MillyR · 31/10/2009 21:31

I should add that we are in a tiny rural village; we only knock on the doors of the two streets of cottages (which are on the same stretch of road).

Penthesileia · 31/10/2009 21:32

MillyR! Whoa! Ok, so maybe she'd had enough of people coming to her door and bothering her, but to scream at a little one? That's not on.

Penthesileia · 31/10/2009 21:33

I also meant to say, I hope your DD is ok.

GooberIsLockedInTheBootOfMyCar · 31/10/2009 21:36

Again: It is begging.

However, I answer my door to them and provide sweets, but my 10, 13 and 15 year old don't go knocking.

PictureThis · 31/10/2009 21:37

It's begging. I don't like it. When DD is older, we'll have a party instead.

MillyR · 31/10/2009 21:37

I can only presume that she had the same number of trick or treaters as us, as we are so close by, which was only 3 groups of children other than mine. I am going to ask other parents tomorrow, as it may be well known that you avoid that house.

Next year we will have a party instead.

GrimmaTheNome · 31/10/2009 21:38

My DD was disappointed we only had 2 sets of trick-or-treaters round tonight. I got the impression that several retired couples in our road were likewise sorry not to have had more happy little faces at their door this year.

We only go to houses which have a pumpkin or suchlike on display, or to people we know are happy to participate.

One dad I met escorting his kids said he didn't like doing it but that it was safer than doing fireworks - I'd not really thought about it but I guess nowadays it has sort of substituted for the back garden bonfire and bangers. Put in those terms, I think its much better to do T&T for family fun and then see proper organised fireworks.

Penthesileia · 31/10/2009 21:41

I'm really tickled by all the "it's begging" remarks. I don't really see it that way. I'm pleased to give out sweeties to kids who've made an effort and are out having fun.

Just out of interest, if two little olde worlde urchins came to your door asking "for a penny for the Guy", would you turn them away, or is that a good old fashioned English custom and not begging?

bibbitybobbitycat · 31/10/2009 21:41

Begging my a**e.

peppapighastakenovermylife · 31/10/2009 21:42

We have been out and had a lovely time. We live on a modern estate and it is full of families with pumpkins and decorations in the windows. DC's were accompanied (well they are only 3 lol). We only knocked on houses which were decorated ( I would say at least 20%). Lovely atmosphere - talked to people we wouldnt normally.

In return DH stayed at our house and gave sweets to those who called. I saw it more of sharing and having fun than begging . DC's had a great time.

I wouldnt take them out if they were over the age of ten. They also wear lovely costumes and are very polite . I wouldnt knock on darkened houses or random streets.

Lovely time

Clowance · 31/10/2009 21:52

I've never been trick or treating and i never take DS.

But he was very keen to get dressed up, so we went out with a bag of sweets and offered them to everyone else out trick or treating.

Ds got to dress up and go out in the dark and have fun, and got to have a few of the left over sweets, and all without disturbing anyone or knocking on doors.

ellokitty · 31/10/2009 22:08

I agree with peppa pig. I took my DDs out for the first time tonight and was surprised at just how lovely it was. By and large, it was mostly people with small kids, lots of the patents dressed up too. Also, most people only went to houses that were decorated, even the teens seemed to respect that rule. Everyone was friendly and chatty, it was actually a lovely evening. I do agree though that it must depend on the neighbourhood, because last year my house decorations were too subtle and we didn't get anyone come to visit ... My DD was all dressed up, ready to hand out sweets and no-one came. Even tonight, the decorations were up until 7:30 and we had over a dozen visitors before then, and not a single visitor after the decorations came down. When peole respect these basic rules, then I think it is harmless fun if somewhat tacky ...

PinkyRed · 31/10/2009 22:19

I am surprised to find myself on the side of the TandT-ers. I've always thought it was an American imposition, begging etc but actually this year I've loosened up a bit. Our 4 yo dd absolutely loved it. We carved a pumpkin, she dressed up and had her face painted and went out round the village - only to those houses with a pumpkin though. We've had lots of people knocking on our (pumpkin-decorated) door too - all dressed up, nearly all under the age of 10 and every single one of them took a couple of sweets nicely and said thank you.

JesusChristOtterStar · 31/10/2009 22:22

begging not nice agree with your friend

jabberwocky · 31/10/2009 22:23

I loooooove Halloween. It's my favorite holiday. Usually I dress up to hand out the candy and dh dresses up with the dcs to go out. Everyone always has a wonderful time.