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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that it is cruel not to allow your children to go trick or treating?

272 replies

treatortrick · 31/10/2009 16:34

And mean not to open the door to trick or treaters?

Friend has told her children that they cannot go trick or treating as it is begging.

She has also said she will not be opening the door to anyone who comes calling.

Her children are missing out and IMO this is cruel.

OP posts:
HoorahHilda · 31/10/2009 19:36

Have no energy to debate either .. no Halloween on religious grounds. Really
Dark .
And tell me whats all this Happy Halloween nonsense ??! Why is it happy ?? Most odd .

So there

halfcut · 31/10/2009 19:39

Begging ffs don't understand that argument ..just been with my commom grandkids ..much fun was had by all

lovechoc · 31/10/2009 19:39

pointyhat you are right, I should have worded it better, it is similar to t&ting but not the same. YOu have to rehearse a wee tune or dance to perform when you go door to door in order to get a sweetie or two.

I used to do that as a child. I must have been a real pain in the a%se - you don't realise this when you are younger though! lol

LetThereBeRock · 31/10/2009 19:45

Why is it happy? People give you sweets and you have to ask why it's happy?

SugarSkyHigh · 31/10/2009 19:45

where we live everyone respects the pumpkin outside/decorated house rule. We have a bowl of sweets to offer children who knock, and we certainly do not think of them as beggers!

choufleur · 31/10/2009 19:46

we've had fun trick or treating. DS loved being out and seeing other kids.

we only went to houses with pumpkins and DS loved people coming to our house when we got back.

famishedass · 31/10/2009 19:46

"And tell me whats all this Happy Halloween nonsense"

it's just wishing people have a happy halloween, you know, like "happy new year"

mrspnut · 31/10/2009 19:57

It is actually "Happy new year", Samhain is the pagan equivalent of new years eve.

I do a bit of both, I laid an extra place at dinner for the people who have passed on, lit a candle for them to see by and have decorated the house for Hallowe'en.

My children have been to one house trick or treating (by arrangement) and we have had a few visitors here. I like the tradition, the children getting dressed up and meeting new people (all our visitors have had their parents with them). To get round the bigger kids thing, we give out satsumas to those I consider too old to be ToTing and word will soon get around not to bother coming here.

TheMysticMasseuse · 31/10/2009 20:00

maybe not cruel but you and your children are missing on some good fun- which is always a shame. but, each to their own and all that...

HoorahHilda · 31/10/2009 20:01

ok did sound like grumpy old mare there .
Sort of get the happy new year thing but whole thing makes me uneasy thats all.

ByTheSea · 31/10/2009 20:12

We've got a jack-o-lantern out front and a bowl full of sweets to give out. We've only had a couple of knocks tonight, but I'd love more...

BrokkenHarted · 31/10/2009 20:17

I was NEVER allowed. My parents did not let us celebrate halloween at all because of what it is about. It never bothered me one bit. I didn't feel like i had missed out anything. They allowed me to do plenty of other things.

I have no intention to let my DS go (for saftey reasons) unless DH goes with him. Then i don't mind.

fannybanjo · 31/10/2009 20:19

MuttoftheBaskervilles - honestly, anyone who moans and whinges about something as lighthearted as Halloween is a miserable sod, its not as if children are knocking at your door with knives threatening to slit the throats of your dogs. FFS, stop being so mean spirited.

If you don't want to participate, fine but don't bloody moan about it! As I said earlier, put a large sign on your front door asking people not to knock. Its only one flaming night of the year.

BrokkenHarted · 31/10/2009 20:20

Oh and his dressing up would have to be something nice - no witches, devils etc

wannaBe · 31/10/2009 20:23

I had to go to the shops at about 5:30 tonight. On my way home I bumped into three groups of trick or treaters. The first were about sixteen (their voices had broken ) the second group were about eleven/twelve and yes, I felt quite intimidated as they stalked down the street after me. The third lot were a group of little kids with parents. They knocked on a door and when they were given their sweets they complained that they hadn't been given enough. then I jokingly said "trick or treat," and one of them said "no, these sweets are ours!" and I live in a nice area.

My sister offered to take ds trick or treating and I said no. But last year I was actually accused on mn of being cruel for not allowing it.

As for fireworks, no I won't be doing those either. There have been some going off tonight and I have one dog lying at my feet, and both cats couring behind the sofas. My personal opinion is that fireworks should be limited to organized displays only but I suppose that's mean as well.

AnnieLobeseder · 31/10/2009 20:43

Aw, I was always so jealous of Halloween when I was a kid, that now it's 'arrived' here I wouldn't dream of not letting my kids join in! We've had a lovely evening, cos it was our local bonfire night too. People tend to follow the ' no pumpkin/decorations, no knocking' rule here, though some put up signs as an extra precaution.

If other people don't want to join in, meh, that's up to them.

While we were out this evening, though, we passed a house with a 'no trick or treating' sign up, and two young boys were in a bedroom upstairs with their noses pressed to the window watching us go by with very sad little faces!

By the way, those who think Halloween is a pagan festival and shouldn't be celebrated, do you avoid celebrating Christmas and Easter too, since they're also just thinly-repackaged pagan festivals?

GrapefruitMoon · 31/10/2009 20:48

I suspect a lot of those who object on religious grounds also prefer to ignore the Santa Claus element of Christmas and the Easter bunny... I am never entirely sure which branches of Christianity object to it. Certainly not our local church which often hosts Halloween parties for the children!

Dumbledoresgirl · 31/10/2009 20:49

There's something extremely patronising when people say they feel sorry for others who do not choose to participate in another's custom.

Please don't waste your time feeling sorry for us.

Dumbledoresgirl · 31/10/2009 20:50

And don't get me started on the Easter Bunny!

OrmIrian · 31/10/2009 20:51

You'd think so grapefruit wouldn't you? But no my MIL. Objects to halloween strenuously but has no problem with FC - odd considering that many aspect of FC's paraphenalia are said to come from a Finnish shamanistic mushroom-using cult

LilyBolero · 31/10/2009 20:55

GrapefruitMoon - interestingly we don't 'do' Halloween - I just don't like it. As far as Santa and Easter Bunny go, they are fun stories, that the kids know are just fun - ds1 dresses up as Santa every Christmas afternoon to deliver a present to everyone - that was his way of enjoying the legend, we didn't suggest it - he's done it since he was 3! So to our kids, Santa is great fun, but the magic is in the nativity story, which they really do find incredibly magical. Along with Kings Carols which is a big tradition in our house - we get home from church nativity play and curl up with hot chocolate to watch Kings.

Everyone does things differently - I love the way we do Christmas (although when dh said he didn't want to do Santa I was , but he was right, our way is great!). Doesn't mean the kids miss out on fun and magic, it's just slightly different. And no danger of the children blowing the 'magic' for other children, because they don't think 'there's no such thing as Santa', it's just real in a different way. And a way that will stay real, there won't be a moment of grim truth!

prettyfly1 · 31/10/2009 20:56

YABU. I love halloween and am having a great time with my kids doing pumpkins, watching scary movies and telling ghost stories. HOWEVER. After just having three seven/eight year old girls turn up at my door, with no shoes, no costumes and no pleases for sweets and money I am sick to death of begging and would never let the boys do it. Sorry but if I want my kids teeth to rot I will give them crap myself - I prefer to get into the spirit of the day without the begging.

GrapefruitMoon · 31/10/2009 20:56

The religious objection thing does baffle me - but I put it down the the fact that I am a foreigner! When i was a child the nuns at our school always had us making masks and witches hats at Halloween!

essanel · 31/10/2009 20:57

I dont think its cruel --- i havent taken my kids out this year party at school thursday night and party tomorrow so could not be bothered getting them dressed up tonight as wellhowever would only take them to my family!! have ignored the door.... i just cannot be bothered with it I was an au pair in america and on halloween the girls school had a trunk or treat night where in the school carpark all the parents decorated their car boots (some were very cool with smoke effects and all!)It was a very safe for all the kids to go from car to car and games in the school hall... it was great fun and meant that only people who wanted to involved were there!!!

BrokkenHarted · 31/10/2009 20:58

I cant decide whether or not to tell DS about santa. I did it last year so i had an excuse to buy him more pressies for his first chrismas but i think both me and DH dont see the point in santa and so prob wont bother with that either (but of course he will be sworn to secrecy so as not to upset other children)

I am a christian myself and am umming and ahhing about halloween. Like i said i think if friends were going ToTing and invited DS i would let him go if DH went but that would be as far as our celebration would go.

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