To think that it is cruel not to allow your children to go trick or treating?

[treatortrick]

And mean not to open the door to trick or treaters?

Friend has told her children that they cannot go trick or treating as it is begging.

She has also said she will not be opening the door to anyone who comes calling.

Her children are missing out and IMO this is cruel.

Whether I am being trite or not Jesuschrist, to turn what is a child orientated fun evening into a thread stating that anyone who dares go trick or treating is "begging" is getting a little bit too anal.

fair comment fannybanjo, but then so is accusing those who don't have same opinion of being "cruel".....

YABU. It's a matter of choice and no one needs to have to anything 'instead' either.

fanny - whats all this arse chat?

I dont think its anal??

what is anal about it??

I dont like trick or treating myself but it does not give me a freudian urge to compulsively keep my house spotless

i'm glad i've found people who agree with me- we don't DO halloween, but do have a bowl of sweets for the local little ones.

My neighbours all think i'm totally bonkers- and looked flabbergasted when i stated that my children do not go out begging at ANY time of the year especially dressed as a mediocre skeleton

carry on with the scuffle

We went to Tesco at around 5pm yesterday and it was the emptiest I've ever seen it! And there were a few families with dch there, obviously too tight to take them to the cinema/bowling etc instead of T or T...

I loathe Halloweeen, gangs of teenagers demanding sweets/money with menaces. That's why we always go out!

Oh, and YABU.

That was a joke, btw, about being 'tight'

Jesus, you know what I meant. The people on here referring trick or treating to begging are being particularly uptight about the joy of it.

I am not bothered whether people think it is cruel to let their kids go trick or treating, of course it isn't cruel, what you allow your children to do is your choice. What I find pathetic is the people on here who are comparing T&T to begging. Come on? Are people sending their children out to sit on the streets with a bowl and a sign saying "please feed me, we are homeless and poor?" No, they aren't, they are allowing their children to have a bit of spirit and enjoy a time in their lives where they can be silly and have fun without people judging them.

i have been out with groups of people before t and t ing - and felt like it was begging

just dont like the theme me...

i am not boring - just not my fave thing

I wonder if the people who so disapprove of begging, are also so very irritated by those tiresome charity-mongers who shake tins up and down in the street in an aggressive begging manner?

OP of course YABU, wildly so, but oh god yes agree about the po-facedness of some of the anti's on here. It is not begging for children to come to my house, I have pumpkins and broomsticks in the windows, and cut out spiders that DD did yesterday and it's a clear invitation to anyone who wants to, to come and get some sweets. That is NOT begging.

And I live in a shit area where people leave dog-shit in the street and the schools are in special measures, and never have I had horrible teenagers throwing eggs or suchlike. I love halloween, the kids have a whale of a time and will have happy memories of it in years to come, just like christmas. Don't participate if you don't want, but oh stop whingeing about how American it all is. So is christmas, since when has turkey been traditional?

Why go then if you felt like it was begging? Doesn't make sense to me.

there are too many variables at play here so not one answer fits all. I do find it really offensive to be called "cruel" because I have taken a conscious decision for my children's fleecing of neighbours to be more charity than sweetie focused. I do see it as begging, and this thread hasn't changed my mind. But can see why those of you who do T&Ting and enjoy it don't see it that way. We're not going to change anyone's opinions, but as ever I think we need to respect each others choices without being quite so nasty about it.

we went this year - for the first time in teh UK - and it was (slightly to my surprise) rather lovely. dds and my neice all dressed up - in "proper" (ie home made) outfits that we'd put together out of stuff at home. There was a definite un-written rule that you only go to houses with pumpkins outside. ie putting a pumpkin outside meant "Trick or treaters welcome" - so I didn;t feel awkward or like we were begging or intruding. some houses had several, very beautiful pumpkins. one lady answered the door in a witch's hat and asked the girls if they've like to come and in and make a wish. (to which my 6-year old neice said "but how do we know it'll be granted?" ) and they got to stir a "cauldron". we live in a village so I knew about half the families that had put pumpkins out. it was very pleasant and fun.

In previous years I've felt pretty uncomfortable - and dds have only ever gone to next door, but this year, the combination of the pumpkin rule and being in a village made it very nice, simple fun.

This thread is so funny. Ridiculous OP and then ALL shades of indignance all round.

Chill. Do it. Don't do it. Who cares?

I always demand the trick. They never have any bloody 'tricks'. That's the biggest crime. Some of them don't even bother saying it. I take great relish every year in trying to scare the beejesus out of them in return.

and we put a pumpkin out - had a handful of kids and one group of teenagers - but - shock horror - even the teenagers were lovely - 3 girls, probably about 14/15, dressed up a bit like meg the witch. very sweet and polite. being self-consciously childish. "we might be trying to grow up but hell we still like sweets" rather lovely

LOL Vulpinas, we went to a house this year that had a proper pagan in it. He looked disdainfully at all of us as if to say: "bloody dilettantes" and looked disapproviingly at the witch's hat my DD had insisted I wore and observed: "You're not a witch" and then demanded tricks.

If people follow the "Pumpkin Rule", then fine, but sadly, I have never even heard of this and it's certainly not followed in the "nice" area I live in.

I have never had a pumpkin outside my door or decorated my house in any way, yet still have people knocking every year. I even put a sticker on my door from the local police saying "No Trick or Treaters Thank You", and still got 2 groups of teenagers knocking last year, one of which removed the sticker!!

I don't look down on anyone who chooses to go/let their kids go T ot T'ing, but would ask that they show me the courtesy of respecting the sticker on my door.

DH was seriously considering buying an extra wheelie bin this year so he could hide in it in his Zombie costume and jump out at an appropriate moment.

Heh heh heh.

The spider that crashes down on your head at any loud noise has become a bit tired and familiar now...

LOL we went to one house where when they opened the door, this got blasted out

Personally I don't like Halloween. I don't like dressing small children up in scary masks and as devils etc and I think there is too much really horrible stuff in many shops.

I make a small concession to it by making a jack o'lantern out of a pumpkin, as this is something we used to do at home when I was a child, and I will buy DS some haloween themed sweets.

This year for the first time, DS has been invited to a couple of halloween parties, so I have bought him a dressing up outfit, and I did find it difficult to find one he would fine scary enough, but that I didn't find too distasteful.

We don't do trick or treating ourselves, and I don't answer the door to them either.

So no, I don't think your friend is being cruel or unreasonable.

'stay away from strangers, and definately don't take sweets from them...'

except on oct 31st, then you can knock on their door and eat their sweets until your hearts content.............