to want to spend Christmas day with DH and DS in our own home?

[Bambinoloveseggbirds]

I know I won't be the first or last to post this type of question. We have gone to MiL's house (SiL and her family go too) for the past 4 years and I'm sick of it - apart from always feeling like I can't relax, I know they will totally hog my DS and I won't get a look in. I want to spend Christmas with my own family in my own home. This is our first Christmas with DS, as a married couple and the first in our new house so AIBU to want to spend Christmas at home? I said to DH perhaps they could come over for breakfast to see DS then leave us to it, but he thinks they'll kick off if we don't go to them.

I don't get these men who won't say no to their parents. Think I've been lucky in my men. They've generally been pretty independant and easily able to tell their parents they have other plans if parents are keen on 1 idea and we have decided on another.
They've generally had sane parents though.

Why is Christmas "all about families" anyway? It's either a Christian ceremony about Jesus's birth (where I don't recall any grandparents being present) or a pagan celebration of the winter solstice that has been hijacked by the Christians, which was a community celebration not a family on, or just an excuse to have a few days off work and spend some money and party, depending on your viewpoint.
This isn't mother's day you're talking about.
Easter (or the spring solstice) isn't about families, why have some people decided Christmas is?
I think Christmas should be what you want it to be. If you want an extended family get together great, but if you want to go for a long walk in the mountains alone or with a friend that's also great.
Neither is "THE" way to spend Christmas.
Spending Christmas travelling up and down motorways or stuck at the airport because BA are striking yet again isn't great for most people.

Just tell them that you are doing Christmas at home and invite them to come to you-the rest is up to them. (They can't get upset if you include them.)

Our families live 50 miles from each other north and south of Ireland. When DS was 10 weeks old we were so excited about taking him home to see everyone for his first xmas - what a nightmare, so stressful, we all got horrible colds (and I had first pfb-sickness worry) and didn't get a minute to ourselves.
Then last year we stayed put, had a lovely few days in very quiet London, and talked about how we would start making our own family traditions instead of having, as we called it, other people's xmas. Doing it again this year.
Hope you have a lovely time just the three of you - stay in your PJs all day, have a glass of champers for breakfast and eat your body weight in selection boxes!

I would ask all these PIL, who insist on having everyone for Christmas, when they started their own family traditions. If seems unfair to me if they have had 20yrs or so of doing them and expect that everyone will carry on and fit in.
I have always done my own thing since I had DCs, but people have been welcome to come to us. We have lovely Christmases but I'm not expecting them to transport small DCs, presents etc etc or drive all over the country once they have their own family-it is their turn to make their own traditions.

to whoever asked about what I will expect from DS in 20 yrs time:
I will expect to have raised an independant person who will put his own needs/wants and those of his partner/kids before his mum and dad.

I WON'T be guilt tripping him into dragging them all out at Xmas or inviting us over.