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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To still be rather pissed off about this..?

57 replies

ErikaMaye · 28/10/2009 20:47

So this morning Mum and I got into an argument. I said I was really getting quite upset and annoyed with how my brother has been treating me, to which her responce was something along the lines of "Well its your fault he's playing up; you kept the baby. Stop complaining about the fact you're still pregnant, you made your choice."

I was really fuming and upset by this, and stormed waddled off to town for about seven hours to try and calm down. I'm still really angry though...

OP posts:
RoseBlossoms · 28/10/2009 20:49

eh?

BalloonSlayer · 28/10/2009 20:53

second eh?

Why is your deciding to "keep your baby" supposed to be offensive to your brother?

Original poster
ErikaMaye · 28/10/2009 20:53

Sorry possibly an angry ramble... What was it I said that didn't make sense?

OP posts:
paisleyleaf · 28/10/2009 20:54

Is your brother the dad?

BalloonSlayer · 28/10/2009 20:55

Because it seems so utterly unreasonable (of your Mum and DB) it's hard to see why you're posting.

We were not being unsympathetic.

Cousel · 28/10/2009 20:55

don't get this at all

ThisPhantomPlopsPumpkins · 28/10/2009 20:56

why/how is your brother treating you badly?

Original poster
ErikaMaye · 28/10/2009 20:57

He's 12, so know he's bound to be playing up a little, but once again I'm being blamed for it. I'm really upset by what she said about my baby though.

I live at home, so understand there will some changes going on for him as well, but surely that doesn't give him the right to delibrately move things into my way so I'm blocked into a room (am disabled), call me a whore, and regularly complain about how selfish it is of me to be "ruining his life" by having a baby..?

OP posts:
Lilyloooohhhh · 28/10/2009 20:58

why would your brother be annoyed at you having a baby

paisleyleaf · 28/10/2009 21:00

It doesn't sound a particularly happy environment
Would you want to move out at all?

Lilyloooohhhh · 28/10/2009 21:00

Sorry xpost i wonder how much of your mums reply is more about her and less of your brother

ThisPhantomPlopsPumpkins · 28/10/2009 21:01

It doesn't give him a right no, but he's 12! He doesn't care if he has a right or not, he's your 12 year old younger brother, it's his job to be annoying/hurtful. I'd ignore him if you can.

Your Mum on the other hand should have been more understanding. Is she unhappy about the pregnancy? Is there anyway you can move out?

feellikeafraud · 28/10/2009 21:02

Lola?

ThisPhantomPlopsPumpkins · 28/10/2009 21:05

No.

honeybehappy · 28/10/2009 21:06

Why dont you move out? sounds very complicated at home.

Original poster
ErikaMaye · 28/10/2009 21:06

I didn't think so. It wasn't planned, but until today she has never really said anything that has made me think she objected. She did try to pursuade me to terminate a little when I first found out, but once I told her to stop it, she did. I am wondering why she would only bring up objections or whatever now, when I only have two and a half weeks till my due date...

Its not particularly happy here, there seems to be constant arguments. But DP only has a one bedroom place and can't sell up at the moment, and because of my age and health issues, SS want me to stay here for at least the first six months.

OP posts:
BalloonSlayer · 28/10/2009 21:07

Your Mum should not be putting words into his mouth.

He is 12. Everything pisses him off.

Comments like "you kept the baby. Stop complaining about the fact you're still pregnant, you made your choice" are nothing to do with your brother but ALL about your mother.

It is she you need to challenge.

How many weeks are you now? I wonder if she is naturally worried about you - her DD - wishing you were not going to got through giving birth and projecting this perfectly normal maternal worry anywhere and anyhow.

honeybehappy · 28/10/2009 21:07

How old are you? can i ask what health issues?

paisleyleaf · 28/10/2009 21:08

How old are you?

Original poster
ErikaMaye · 28/10/2009 21:09

I'm 18. I have ME/CFS, have been ill with that for the best part of two years now. I have a history of mental health issues too, which are under control now.

OP posts:
ThisPhantomPlopsPumpkins · 28/10/2009 21:09

Is it your 1st baby?

Lulumama · 28/10/2009 21:10

your brother is old enough to know not to call you those names and to make your life difficult. you need to talk to him, you are going to be a mother soon and you need to be an adult and that means taking things like this in hand

honeybehappy · 28/10/2009 21:12

Do you think you will move to dp's after 6 months? Dont worry bout it only being 1 bedroom. me dp and 2 dd's recently live in just one room in a hostel so it is do able.

BiteOfFun · 28/10/2009 21:12

How come Social Services are involved, may I ask?

BalloonSlayer · 28/10/2009 21:13

I think she is just worried about you, Erika, and your brother is the filter for her worries.

If you have a girl, see how calm and collected you are 2 and a half weeks before she has a baby.

You'll be having kittens and blaming your feelings on anyone but yourself, just like your mum is doing.

YANBU to be pissed off, but trying to analyse will probably get yoi nowhere.