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Original poster

To still be rather pissed off about this..?

57 replies

ErikaMaye · 28/10/2009 20:47

So this morning Mum and I got into an argument. I said I was really getting quite upset and annoyed with how my brother has been treating me, to which her responce was something along the lines of "Well its your fault he's playing up; you kept the baby. Stop complaining about the fact you're still pregnant, you made your choice."

I was really fuming and upset by this, and stormed waddled off to town for about seven hours to try and calm down. I'm still really angry though...

OP posts:
Original poster
ErikaMaye · 28/10/2009 21:15

Yes its my first.

I did try talking to him, but was told "You are not his parent, stop acting like it", which he has now of course picked up on, and throws at me every time I ask his anything.

DP and I have been looking at him getting a bigger place for around that time, though I have a feeling I won't be able to stick out the six months they've requested.

SS were involved simply because of my age. Apparently its routine for them just to do a couple of interviews with the mother and father to be, as well as local family members.

OP posts:
SqueezyCheesyCock · 28/10/2009 21:18

Erika, when are you due?

Things will be SO MUCH different when the little one arrives, everything will change, you will see.

As a side note, no boy of 12 should be in the position where he is able to speak to you like that, brother or not. Perhaps he feels the attention is not as much on him at the moment but that will pass, he will soon be a uncle and you can really bring him into that role.

honeybehappy · 28/10/2009 21:18

Really? ive never heard of ss doing that before.

RealityBites · 28/10/2009 21:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

NoNameNameyChangey · 28/10/2009 21:20

I didn't have SS do interviews when I was PG at 18.

ThisPhantomPlopsPumpkins · 28/10/2009 21:21

Didn't know that about SS, I thought you were an adult at 18 and could choose to have a child without the state getting involved!

Sounds like emotions are running high, I'd try and grin and bear it for 2 more weeks and see how it all settles down after the birth. Hopefully your Mum and Brother will turn into a loving, doting Grandma and Uncle.

NoNameNameyChangey · 28/10/2009 21:21

Sorry, Xposted others!

curiositykilled · 28/10/2009 21:22

If you have to stay for 6 months then you have to stay. You need to try and grow a thicker skin and restrain yourself from getting involved. Just walk away, try to keep to yourself.

I agree with balloonSlayer. Maybe when the baby is born both your mum and brother may be kinder to you. It's a worrying time for them both and they may love the baby very much when it's born. If your bro is the youngest he might not have much experience of babies and this might be causing him anxiety but if he's anything like my younger brother (he had a similarly demeaning attitude when I was pregnant) he'll be really interested and loving when the baby is actually there.

Original poster
ErikaMaye · 28/10/2009 21:29

I was 17 when I fell pregnant. Though if it was because of my MH, either way they seemed satisifed, and were actually incredably helpful.

Thank you for talking sense. I do think part of this is possibly a jealousy thing for my brother - he is the youngest, and although he tends to be very fond of younger children, in a lot of ways I guess its like a younger sibling arriving, because we're in the same house.

Its my mothers attitude more that concerns me.

OP posts:
paisleyleaf · 28/10/2009 21:40

It does sound like your mum's got a lot on her plate.
Is your dad around too?

PoppyIsApain · 28/10/2009 21:40

My brother was just turned 12 when my ds arrived, i also live with him, my dh and my mum, he has LD and never gave me trouble, he supported me through it and that is with him having a mental age of 8-9 yrs old, i think you should talk to SS and tell them what home life is like and move in with dp, a one bed place is big enough for the first year, good luck and congrats for the baby

Original poster
ErikaMaye · 28/10/2009 21:45

Poppy I'm glad to hear your DB was so supprotive of you, that really is lovely - and fills me with a little hope!! Thank you for your congratulations.

My Dad is around, but currently has the threat of redundancy (sp? sorry!) hanging over his head, so things are rather tense here. Last time he was made redudant things got pretty rough.

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thesecondcocking · 28/10/2009 21:48

it does sound like the baby is going to cause a lot of additional pressure on an already pressured situation.
how much help will you need with the baby when it is here and who will be providing the help?

curiositykilled · 28/10/2009 21:51

I think you need to do what SS says. I've seen some of your other threads about your DP. This and your MH history coupled with your age is probably why SS are involved. I'm not sure you and the baby would be under any less stress moving in with DP would you?

Original poster
ErikaMaye · 28/10/2009 21:51

DP is taking a month off to come and help me. I'm really not sure how much help I'm going to need, in all honest, have no idea how my ME will be affected by the birth / sleepless nights / everything else!

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paisleyleaf · 28/10/2009 21:52

I agree with Poppy. Surely SS can see that it's stressful for the whole family. A one bed place is fine for ages when the baby is born.

Original poster
ErikaMaye · 28/10/2009 21:57

DP is doing loads better But I do agree that if SS have advised me I should stay here at first, then I probably should. I guess we won't know how things will be until they're happening.

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curiositykilled · 28/10/2009 21:58

Glad DP is doing better. I think living with your parents and having DP help out in the beginning might be the best of a bad situation really. None of the options seem too great for you

Original poster
ErikaMaye · 28/10/2009 22:02

He's put on two and a half stone ( ) and is currently giving up smoking. The drinking appeared to be a freak out blip, and it hasn't happened since. He's a lot happier and calmer now he's on the ADs as well

I want to do what is best for my little man, but also need to make sure that I'm in a place - mentally and physically - where I am able to take care of him to the best of my ability. Feels a bit like being stuck between a rock and a hard place, if you see what I mean!!

Thank you all for your support, really appriciate it.

OP posts:
curiositykilled · 28/10/2009 22:11

!

That's good to hear! Just see how it goes. The six months will fly by and you'll be more focused on the baby than your mum and brother anyway.

Original poster
ErikaMaye · 28/10/2009 22:20

Yeah I guess... Have calmed down a little now, thanks to you lovely people. Just really shocked and upset by what she said.

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curiositykilled · 28/10/2009 22:27

Yes, it was nasty but it sounds like an impressive pressure cooker you're all living in atm! Try and put it down to stress and forgive her, even if she doesn't deserve it

RealityBites · 28/10/2009 22:29

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Message withdrawn

Original poster
ErikaMaye · 28/10/2009 22:29

See this would all be so much easier if I could have a glass of wine and some pate

You're quite right, on reflection. Before I started writting it down I didn't realise everything that was going on. Explains why wse're all a bit tense right now.

OP posts:
curiositykilled · 28/10/2009 22:59

A nice raw steak with blue cheese sauce...

or some pink duck...

and a can of Mackesons stout...

I have made it to 39 weeks and 1 day with my twins btw Erika