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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was it wrong to leave my children alone for 5 minutes?

163 replies

MrWrong · 27/10/2009 22:58

This morning I took my 3yr old daughter to her weekly swimming lesson. As it's half term, my 5.5yr old son was with us. We had the pushchair etc as we were going into town after. When I got to the leisure center - late - I realized I'd left her swimming costume at home. We were in a cubicle in the changing room at the time. Panic, what to do? To go back to the house with the pushchair and kids would have taken too long, we were late already. So I asked my son to look after my daughter, stay there and help her get undressed while I ran back to the house to get her swimming bag which was in the hallway. There and back took about five minutes and when I got back they were fine and my daughter was undressed. She got to the lesson a couple of minutes late.

I swore the children to secrecy because I knew my wife wouldn't be happy about me leaving them. But my daughter blabbed and my wife almost burst into tears before storming off saying how upset she was. She made me feel as though I'd stamped on her hamster or something, but all I did was make a judgement call and felt I could trust my children for the few minutes I was away. (We live in a quiet town where a lot of people know each other BTW)

Was it a really terrible thing that I did?

OP posts:

franch · 28/10/2009 00:03

Well put, Boooyhoo

BrandNewCock · 28/10/2009 00:04

The reason I am sure the OP is not genuine is because noone would actually do this, and then try to casually defend themselves on MN. If you were the kind of parent who would do this, you wouldn't care what anyone else thought anyway. Come to think of it, I'm glad it's not true as at least I don't have to feel sick on OP's behalf about what might have happened.

Clary · 28/10/2009 00:05

yeah clemette that's me too (wrt lax parenting). I too consider independence important and paedophiles rare.

Yet I wouldn't consider doing this. Can you not see, OP, how this is unfair on the children and fraught with danger? Not from paedophiles, maybe, but from the danger of the water etc?

My youngest is 6 now but if I were to nip away from DD's swim lesson (she's 8 and v competent) to the nearest shop, I would certainly take DS2 with me rather than leave him sitting by the pool. DS1 is 10 and he is OK to stay. Leave a 5yo and a 3yo in that situation? No way.

franch · 28/10/2009 00:05

Sounds fine to me AGK, as long as the kid didn't blab

kitkatcadaverqueen · 28/10/2009 00:07

boooooooooohoo

You are very right, but I don't think mrfuckwitarsebiscuit wrong will do that because I don't believe he has the guts.

Having realised he really really has fucked up stupendously I think he would rather try to justify/gloss over what he did than put it right.

Sorry for the swearing tonite folks...

JustAnotherManicMummy · 28/10/2009 00:08

The hamster did it

Original poster

MrWrong · 28/10/2009 00:08

Yes, I'm serious, and yes I've rethought. Not sure why I didn't consider it such a danger - possibly because the leisure center is so close.

I should stop digging now but for what it's worth I was in the supermarket with the kids at the weekend. Daughter was making a fuss about being in the trolley so I let her out to walk. Son and daughter both grabbing things and putting them in the trolley and me putting them back. Whilst distracted putting something back, daughter ran round the corner to the next aisle. Chased after her - not there! - cue panic. Scanning the exits, looking up all the aisles. She reappeared after a couple of minutes, I guess she must have skipped an aisle and gone up the next one. After that she went straight back in the trolley.

That was scary. Leaving them today felt safe at the time or so I convinced myself but clearly I've got a guilty conscience.

And no, it's not a wind-up - I think people thinking that is worse than being called a smug fuckwitted twat.

OP posts:

Booooooooooyhoo · 28/10/2009 00:11

he wont do it cause its not real.

brandnewcock is right, anyone who would do this, wouldnt think enough of it to ask someone else's opinion.

BrandNewCock · 28/10/2009 00:11

I would rather think it is a wind-up, nasty though that would be, than that any parent could be so thoughtlessly irresponsible - and then mock the mother of their children for being upset! Again, shame on you either way. Have you learned anything from this at all?

clemette · 28/10/2009 00:12

So why were seconds in a supermarket where she could hear your voice MORE scary than leaving her entirely alone (except for another tiny person) for minutes??

Booooooooooyhoo · 28/10/2009 00:12

mrswrong give up now

Vallhala · 28/10/2009 00:13

OK, if you're for real just consider yourself very lucky... this time.

Also ask yourself this... before the awful events of a few years ago, had you ever even heard of that nice, friendly, peaceful small town called Soham?

There are hundreds of small, friendly townns across the country... at least until something goes desperately wrong.

pithyslicker · 28/10/2009 00:13

I think people thinking that is worse than being called a smug fuckwitted twat.

?????

franch · 28/10/2009 00:14

So, apologies to your wife tonight and the kids in the morning then I assume Mr Wrong?

Booooooooooyhoo · 28/10/2009 00:15

my thoughts exactly pithyslicker

kitkatcadaverqueen · 28/10/2009 00:18

Actually that was fuckwitarsebiscuit

And now you add to it that your 3 yr old has run away from you in public before and then you left her to be cared for by a 5 yr old at a swimming pool ????

How big a ladder do you think you are going to need to get out of that hole? You seem to be digging it deeper every time you post.

Has it occured to you that leisure centres generally have cctv outside the changing rooms???

If so there will also be incontrovertable proof that you abandoned your children in a public place.

As someone else said don't divorce your wife you'll never see the kids again.

AnyGhoulKno · 28/10/2009 00:21

I would be wearing my husband bollocks as a pair of earrings. For starters.

Booooooooooyhoo · 28/10/2009 00:21

i wouldnt be surprised if your wife pays her solicitor a visit in the morning.

Booooooooooyhoo · 28/10/2009 00:23

if OH did that i'd be asking the doctor to section him, seriously, i'd think he'd lost it.

Booooooooooyhoo · 28/10/2009 00:23

if i did that OH would have the kids off me.

kitkatcadaverqueen · 28/10/2009 00:24

I think i'd be disapointed if she didn't...

I'd also bet that mrs wrong was on here somewhere...

kitkatcadaverqueen · 28/10/2009 00:26

btw in only costs £10.00 to get a copy of cctv tape...

clemette · 28/10/2009 00:27

Hmm - stepping back a bit, it was stupid but perhaps some of you are going a bit OTT?? Divorce, castration and sectioning!?!

kitkatcadaverqueen · 28/10/2009 00:27

if my other half did that there'd be nothing left to section.

JodieO · 28/10/2009 00:28

So those minutes while you were there in the supermarket were scary; why wasn't it scary when you weren't even in the same building then? When your 5 and 3 year could have gone and done anything?

5 minutes is a long time, can your or 5 year old stand still and do nothing for 5 mins? Not move, nothing?

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