Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was it wrong to leave my children alone for 5 minutes?

163 replies

MrWrong · 27/10/2009 22:58

This morning I took my 3yr old daughter to her weekly swimming lesson. As it's half term, my 5.5yr old son was with us. We had the pushchair etc as we were going into town after. When I got to the leisure center - late - I realized I'd left her swimming costume at home. We were in a cubicle in the changing room at the time. Panic, what to do? To go back to the house with the pushchair and kids would have taken too long, we were late already. So I asked my son to look after my daughter, stay there and help her get undressed while I ran back to the house to get her swimming bag which was in the hallway. There and back took about five minutes and when I got back they were fine and my daughter was undressed. She got to the lesson a couple of minutes late.

I swore the children to secrecy because I knew my wife wouldn't be happy about me leaving them. But my daughter blabbed and my wife almost burst into tears before storming off saying how upset she was. She made me feel as though I'd stamped on her hamster or something, but all I did was make a judgement call and felt I could trust my children for the few minutes I was away. (We live in a quiet town where a lot of people know each other BTW)

Was it a really terrible thing that I did?

OP posts:
Original poster
MrWrong · 27/10/2009 23:41

House is about 300 yards away.

Nobody likes to feel like they're a bad person. I guess I was looking for some sort of reassurance along the lines of "bit silly but must admit have occasionally done something similar".

Instead have discovered that I'm also a smug twat

OP posts:
Clary · 27/10/2009 23:43

cool to live so near the pool then (unless it's the one I was thinking of in my town)

Sorry have never done anything remotely similar unless you count leaving 10yo DS in the relative safety of his own home for 20 mins....

I really would have taken them with me if you only live 300m away.

shineoncrazycockchatter · 27/10/2009 23:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BrandNewCock · 27/10/2009 23:44

A good way to make sure your "wife" never ever asks you to take the DCs swimming again, I suppose.

franch · 27/10/2009 23:46

Is it just me or does MrWrong still not sound like he's taking it all that seriously?

Northernlurker · 27/10/2009 23:47

Yeah Mr Wrong - I think you'll find that most of us parents are unaccountably twitchy about leaving very young children alone in public places near DEEP WATER. Now you know that how about you go apologise to your poor wife and promise never to be a fuckwit again OR ask your children to lie about something.

franch · 27/10/2009 23:47

Nor has he addressed the awful question of trying to make his kids keep this secret from their mum.

pithyslicker · 27/10/2009 23:48

I think being called a 'smug twat' is getting of lightly.

kitkatcadaverqueen · 27/10/2009 23:49

"She made me feel as though I'd stamped on her hamster or something"

hmm stamping on a hamster is harming somthing that is totally defenseless, the potential for your children to be harmed in the situation you put them in today was very real.

How would you have felt as a child to have been put in that position by a parent, then told to lie to your mother about it and then had another parent angry at you for "blabbing".

People make children keep secrets to cover up shameful things.

You should be ashamed of your actions today.

Either that or you need to get back under your bridge....................

colditz · 27/10/2009 23:50

You have done a really really stupid thing. Don't ever split up with your wife, because if you apply for contact this will probably be sited in court to prevent you having unsupervised access to your children, and I wouldn't blame her.

It was an act of true fuckwittery.

kitkatcadaverqueen · 27/10/2009 23:50

the short reply is

KNOB!

franch · 27/10/2009 23:54

"We live in a quiet town where a lot of people know each other" - I've just reread that sentence and am now wondering why that makes it all OK??? Because nothing terrible ever happens to small children in quiet towns? Because, what, if someone had run off with them then someone you know would have noticed and, hey, maybe even written down their registration number? The more I think about it, the more shocking your logic is.

womblingfree · 27/10/2009 23:54

Quite apart from what could have happened to your kids, if you were in that desperate a rush it's not that impossible to think that you could easily have fallen badly, or failed to check the road properly en route to and from your house and been badly injured.

Imagine your kids left in that changing room waiting for Daddy to come back.....

JodieO · 27/10/2009 23:54

I can't believe any sane person would do this. Are you really serious? You actually left a 5 year old in charge of a 3 year old???!! Really?! If you actually think about that and still think it's ok then I really believe you need to rethink your judgement calls and how you deal with young children.

kitkatcadaverqueen · 27/10/2009 23:55

Soham is a quiet town...

Poohbearsmom · 27/10/2009 23:55

Unbelievable...

Vallhala · 27/10/2009 23:57

If this is for real there is another thing for MrWrong to consider.

Apart from being horrifically insulting and unreasonable to your wife, isn't telling your child to lie about an adult's actions otherwise unwise? How many times do we hear of sexually abused children being told by the abusive adult that its "Just our little secret" and "Don't tell Mummy, she'll be cross with you and I"?

Talk about giving your children mixed messages!

BEAUTlFUL · 27/10/2009 23:57

You're not a smug twat, you're a cocky twat. You ask your tiny children to lie to their Mum, you put them in danger, and you can't even remember to pack a swimming costume before you go swimming. Durr.

Then you write it up here in your "amusing" style and expect sympathy and back-up. "Oh, MrWrong, don't listen to your neurotic wife - last week I left my toddler on an M25 roundabout because I had to go back to the services to get another sugar for my coffee, she was fine!"

Cocky twat.

Booooooooooyhoo · 27/10/2009 23:58

this cannot be for real.

if it is, its not a man talking. and shame on you.

Vallhala · 27/10/2009 23:58

Oh yeah, and Soham is a small, quiet town where people know each other too, smartarse.

franch · 27/10/2009 23:58

Exactly, Vallhala.

Vallhala · 27/10/2009 23:59

Sorry KitKat, we cross-posted. Snap!

clemette · 28/10/2009 00:00

I am generally to be found on the lax end of the leaving children alone parenting spectrum (ie I leave them in the car when paying for petrol, let my 4yo go into public toilets by herself, have answered the door whilst they were in the bath, don't believe there is a paedophile around every corner, believe that independence is more important than over-protection etc etc etc). Given all that I think you were irresponsible, selfish and foolish.
Did you even consider the basics like what if they fell on the wet tiles? Were they happy to be left? (mine sure as hell wouldn't have been) What did you advise them to do in an emergency??

Booooooooooyhoo · 28/10/2009 00:02

you owe your children an apology. and an honest apology, explaining what you did was wrong, both leaving them and making them lie. and let them know that they should always be honest with both their parents, especially when someone tells them not to be.

AnyGhoulKno · 28/10/2009 00:02

yesterday, my 2 year old was doing the ironing as usual when I remember I had run out of benson and hedges. I promptly got in the car, drove to asda, stopping only to get some scratchcards. When I got back only an hour later dd had burned the house down. I told her not to tell daddy and that we'd pretent it was like that when we got back. Did I do the wrong thing?