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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was it wrong to leave my children alone for 5 minutes?

163 replies

MrWrong · 27/10/2009 22:58

This morning I took my 3yr old daughter to her weekly swimming lesson. As it's half term, my 5.5yr old son was with us. We had the pushchair etc as we were going into town after. When I got to the leisure center - late - I realized I'd left her swimming costume at home. We were in a cubicle in the changing room at the time. Panic, what to do? To go back to the house with the pushchair and kids would have taken too long, we were late already. So I asked my son to look after my daughter, stay there and help her get undressed while I ran back to the house to get her swimming bag which was in the hallway. There and back took about five minutes and when I got back they were fine and my daughter was undressed. She got to the lesson a couple of minutes late.

I swore the children to secrecy because I knew my wife wouldn't be happy about me leaving them. But my daughter blabbed and my wife almost burst into tears before storming off saying how upset she was. She made me feel as though I'd stamped on her hamster or something, but all I did was make a judgement call and felt I could trust my children for the few minutes I was away. (We live in a quiet town where a lot of people know each other BTW)

Was it a really terrible thing that I did?

OP posts:
Original poster
MrWrong · 27/10/2009 23:20

Other parents - yes, but there was no-one around. Water danger - she's too shy to go off to the lesson by herself and her brother wouldn't have let her anyway.

Swearing to secrecy - fair point but I knew it would lead to a complete meltdown.

OP posts:
Clary · 27/10/2009 23:21

why not take them with you then?

I don't think that 3yo being too shy makes this OK. How would 5yo stop her in scenarios outlined by stayingscary, any of whic could have happened?

BEAUTlFUL · 27/10/2009 23:22

"She made me feel as though I'd stamped on her hamster or something" -- you're a cocky twat.

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/10/2009 23:23

no one around?

how about the swimming teacher/receptionist/other parents of class you were in etc

you DONT leave small children alone/naked in public places

and DEF wrong to make your dc lie

Stayingscarygirl · 27/10/2009 23:23

That doesn't answer the points I made, MrWrong. The potential risks involved in leaving the children alone in a public place are innumerable. Worst case, taking them home to fetch the swimsuit might have meant her missing the lesson.

How can you possibly have thought 5 and a half was old enough for that kind of responsibility?

DuelingFANGo · 27/10/2009 23:24

so what you are saying is that you think that it's ok to do that and your wife is wrong to be upset? You thought you'd come here and just check yet when everyone says they can understand where your wife is coming from you still think you were right and she was wrong...

what's the point in asking

pithyslicker · 27/10/2009 23:25

This has got to be a wind up.

Stayingscarygirl · 27/10/2009 23:27

Yes, DuelingFango - he thinks that just because nothing actually went wrong, that he made the right decision. He does not seem to have understood or acknowledged that the fact that nothing bad happened was sheer dumb luck, and nothing to do with good judgement on his part!

Northernlurker · 27/10/2009 23:27

I really hope this is a joke - otherwise poor Mrs Wrong. Married to an idiot - and a smug idiot at that.

franch · 27/10/2009 23:28

YABU. For leaving them alone and for putting them in the position of keeping it secret from their mum.

Original poster
MrWrong · 27/10/2009 23:28

If I was a cocky twat I wouldn't be asking here what people thought. I honestly didn't think it was that irresponsible but my wife made me feel like I've done a very very bad thing - that's what I was trying to get across. But reading the replies, looks like she's right.

Scenarios - yes, you're all right of course, the going to the loo etc thing never occurred, it was a snap decision.

OP posts:
mumeeee · 27/10/2009 23:29

YABVU. You should have taken them withyou and it was wrong to swear them to secrecy. Your wife was right to be upset and cross.

DuelingFANGo · 27/10/2009 23:29

I don't like the use of the word 'blabbed' in the first post, it seems cruel.

curiositykilled · 27/10/2009 23:29

I can't believe this is real. As if any parent would be stupid enough to leave a 5 year old supervising a 3 year old in a swimming pool changing room. If they were it'd have to be the very first time they'd been left with the DCs because they wouldn't have survived to the ripe old ages of 5 and 3! lol

franch · 27/10/2009 23:31

And - how far exactly is your house from the swimming pool? I very much doubt you were only gone 5 minutes.

Kerrymumbles · 27/10/2009 23:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MinkyBorage · 27/10/2009 23:32

lol

Northernlurker · 27/10/2009 23:33

I've got a male perspective from dh - he thinks it was a stupid thing to do and asks if the op has been called a feckless halfwit yet? He has obviously been reading a bit too much mumsnet I think!

MerryWifeOfWindsor · 27/10/2009 23:34

Troll. The hamster gave it away. If not, you are the hole of an ass.

Clary · 27/10/2009 23:35

yeah 2.5 mins from the pool (there and back in 5 mins) is unlikely isn't it.

It's possible to live that near one of the pools in our town (tho I wouldn't want to - on a 4-lane ring road) but not very many people do.

Aren't most pools either in the city centre or on an out of town site, ie not near homes?

BrandNewCock · 27/10/2009 23:35

For "stamped on hamster" read put her kids in mortal danger? No-one could write that line and be for real. And no-one should write this stuff and be joking, shame on you

fraggletits · 27/10/2009 23:35

This has got to be a wind up - sorry but the tone of the Op almost sounds gossipy and 'oooh look what i did and it got me in trouble'

I panic if my 4 yr old darts away from me for a second in a shop - i know that's probably OTT but leaving a 3 yr old and a 5 yr old alone in a public place for 5 minutes No way

pithyslicker · 27/10/2009 23:35

I don't think anyone could be this stupid.

franch · 27/10/2009 23:38

Exactly Clary, and if you factor in how long it takes to get out of the actual changing rooms and through those entrance gate thingies, plus a minute or two inside the house finding the swimsuit, he really must live in the carpark.

shineoncrazycockchatter · 27/10/2009 23:41

This reply has been deleted

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