and disloyal to womankind to NOT find this offensive?

[Astrid28]

I am now a SAHM. DH runs his own company and it got to the point where I could give up work if I wanted to. I wanted to, so here I am.

DH transfers money for the food shopping into my account and I also use the joint account for other things, like birthday presents, DD's lessons/pre-school clothes shopping etc.

A friend of mine has described me on several occasions as being an old fashioned housewife.

I laughed and said I suppose I am! She then went on to say that I shouldn't be pleased with the situation. Don't I find my life boring, and what about my life when my kids grow up and leave home - what then?

I'm still very happy with my situation, but should I be?? Am I 'letting the side' down?

LOL scottishmummy, you do rise to the bait easily, don't you? See, it's quite easy to touch a nerve - your confusion is not as well hidden as you like to claim

Not at all, TheFallenMadonna. It's a recurrent theme on MN on the same threads!

i responded to suggestion sahp should receive remuneration.which of course it shouldn't

Really? And I thought you just had a point you wanted to make that hadn't come up yet....

So much for sisterhood! All this arguing about is parenting a job, blah blah blah. That is irrelevant. What is relevant is that women who choose to stay at good should be supported, as should women who choose to work. Being a good, positive parent is what counts.
And if feminism isn't about choice, as well as equality, celebrating woman hood etc, what the hell do you think its about?

read the thread,then.

Why "of course"? Or do you not agree with other freebies that the state gives to parents to help them bring up children? NHS, schools, child benefit etc?

Was that to me? I was responding to Anna actually.

as long as your husband respects you and values your role then I dont see the problem.

don't go mad juggling job, motherhood and house and relationship if it's not what you want or need to do...

I've said what the hell I think it's about MissMoopy.

freebies???? I'll ask for a tax refund

Ah, I see, this was all leading up to the assumption Anna is making about what forms of childcare working parents may/may not use!!

The working parents I know all make excellent arrangements for their children during the hours they work. They do not, however, pay anyone to parent their children. They don't stop being parents for the time they work!

Of course none of us can know how our children may be 'altered' by the fact that they attend a nursery some days, or have a nanny, or whatever. Any more than a SAHM can know how her children would be 'altered' if they had a working mother. Each child only has one set of experiences, so you can't exactly run scientific tests to see how a different experience would have affected them.

My kids are bright, sociable and happy. That'll do me. And I'm happy to have a fulfilling job, an income, and a pension too

SAHP is a job and we all know the dfference between a parent who does 'the job' well and badly. People who don't bring a professional attitude and commitment to being a parent are like people who do not bring a professional attitude and commitment to a paid job. They should go and get another job that they would be better at and they actually would enjoy and want to do.

I would say looking after a vulnerable child(ren), managing the finances and logistics of a home is like running a small family business singlehanded. Hard work, stressful and more for the love than the money.

No, you alluded to sexist social structures. We are all fully aware of those, Thankyou. But feminism is about much more. Maybe you want to do some reading and then comment. Why so angry?

ABetaDad. Of course it is a job (unless you have oodles of domestic help, in which case it might possibly not be).

parenting is a set of tasks with emotional and mental and physical demands.different range of competencies and abilities exisit.we are all individuals and parent differntly.

raising,nurturing and loving our children isn't a job.it cannot legitimately attract a wage.

parenting is the complex range of interactions and gamut of emotions and plenty tasks too. a complete state of immersion in our children and ongoing availability to them

I'm all for tax breaks for SAHMs, but I doubt, especially in the face of a recession, governments feel they can afford it. Family life is not as important as GDP in a capitalist system.

snort

In response to the OP, of course it is insensitively worded and of course modern feminism is about choice.

But your friend's comments might have been motivated by concern rather than busybody interferingness. In a society where nearly 50% of marriages end in divorce, it's better to have some economic independence. You risk getting deskilled, missing out significant pension contributions, etc etc

how can one get a tax break if you dont pay tax?

surely the arguing about whether parenting is a job is splitting hairs. If a job = paid work, then it's not. But it is definitely work, and just as important, if not more so, than so many paid jobs out there. I don't understand why this is being debated.

I think, just as in education, the notion of choice is a red herring. For most of us, our choices are constrained. Celebrating a 'choice' that is made under those conditions may even be counter productive. I have no idea what you mean by 'celebrating womanhood' so don't know whether I would consider that to be feminist.

I'm not in the least bit angry at people being SAHP. I was one, as I've said.

In most countries, married couples are taxed jointly - as they were until recent times in the UK. Tax breaks for SAHPs are on total household income. There are many possible forms.

tax breaks for families with a SAHP?

mum more important than some paid jobs?which jobs.give some examples