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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to concider a nursery/school 60 minutes away from home?

75 replies

me4sunny · 21/10/2009 09:28

and how far away would you look for a school? I am a full time working mum and my nanny doesn't drive (and doesn't want to learn to drive either) would you concider a school/nursery that is 40 -60 minutes away by public transport or is it unreasonable?

OP posts:
Hassled · 21/10/2009 09:33

It would be a bloody nightmare. School is exhausting for nursery/Reception starters - tack on an hour's trip and your DC will be beyond tired. Not fair on the DC, not fair on the nanny. And as your DC gets older he/she will want friends home etc., there will be concerts, parents' evenings, after school clubs - all of that sort of thing will be much harder to do if you're not reasonably local.

Ewe · 21/10/2009 09:34

It is certainly not ideal, would maybe consider it at secondary level.

Original poster
me4sunny · 21/10/2009 09:44

i was thinking about a montessori nursery AND school and thre are any good ones near us and moving into London ... well, we couldn't afford it (and pay for nursery/school as well) plus I really want to go for a second baby next year ... I realy don't know what to do - so many competing priorities!
i really like montessori's approach to learning and the system's attitude to life and oppinion about children ... I find it though quite frustrating to find a nursery and school that are good

OP posts:
cherryblossoms · 21/10/2009 09:50

I think (for nursery) you will find it grinds you down and makes all of you really miserable.

If you live in London, or bits of the countryside, that may well be the reality of secondary school. But nursery ... no. you'll be very tired, frustrated and you l.o. will be exhausted.

Another thing to bear in mind is that nursery/school is where you will pick up a lot of parent-friends. Invaluable in the long run.

I can see why you are considering it. No doubt this school/nursery will be an extension of you home ethos - and that is a wonderful thing to find in a school/nursery. Unfortunately, i do think the hassle outweighs the benefits. Just imo. Good luck.

ADragonIs4LifeNotJustHalloween · 21/10/2009 09:52

No. It would be a nightmare.

titchy · 21/10/2009 09:53

Your child would not benefit from a Montessori (or any other style of education) if s/he spends their time asleep in the classroom. Your child would also be highly unlikely to be able to have any friends back from school, or join in any after school clubs ect when they are older. All of which IMO are just as important in a child's school life.

TBH the local sink school (topped up with private tutor when they are a bit older) would be more preferable to the journey you are proposing.

thedollshouse · 21/10/2009 09:55

Don't consider it. It would be madness.

stakethroughtheheartofgold · 21/10/2009 10:00

having a bunch of friends that live around the corner is a huge blessing - one of dd's friends who is only a short drive away still suffers from not being as near as the others, as it takes that much more organising to get them together.

Surfermum · 21/10/2009 10:01

I've been thinking about how to word this nicely but can't ... nooooo, it's madness.

Original poster
me4sunny · 21/10/2009 10:06

thanks:-)))))))) found it very USEFUL and well will need to work according to the facts of my life, rather my wishfull thinking:-)

will now open a post asking for parents of St. Andrew's montessori school in Garston:-)

OP posts:
seeker · 21/10/2009 10:09

No. I live 15 minutes drive from ds's primary school and I LOVE where I live, but if I had to do it again I wouldn't.

cherryblossoms · 21/10/2009 10:11

Me4sunny - i realise you've made up your mind but I just have to tell you this ...

Your post tugged at something in my memory - I've actually done it! And the whole experience was so horrendous I've effectively wiped it from my memory!

It was while I was a student and I took my ds to the university nursery. In theory, it should have been fine - I was going there too. But ... it was on public transport and it meant getting up v. early and he vomitted on the bus EVERY morning. And of course, if a child is sick, even travel-sick, you have to take them home. I took to taking a change of clothes. And then i just gave up.

I hope you find something closer that is great for all of you.

Original poster
me4sunny · 21/10/2009 10:20

Dear Cherryblossoms! I haven't made my mind up at all - or better still - I just have reconcidered my oppinion and intention to look far from home and well... going to visit St. Andrews Montessori school and may be I like what I see there enouugh ... their OFSTED report was just satisfactory so that did put me off a lot... but than another school i was concidering was Aldenheim (also a public one) and it would be 15 minutes drive from us as well
I really don't want any nursery/schools around us (walking distance) the really good ones are not in our catchment area and what is ... NEVER would I want my DS to go there
but 15 minutes drive is better than 50 :-)

OP posts:
Cadmum · 21/10/2009 10:21

I was convinced that the only suitable Montessori nursery school for my children (then 4 1/2 and 2 1/2) was a huge commute from our house by public transport.

By October we had moved to a location closer to the school but it was still a 10 minute walk followed by a 20 minute tube ride and a further 8 minute walk to the school. Some mornings we nearly dragged the dcs for the last few blocks.

I certainly don't regret the time that my dcs spent in this lovely school but I don't have many pleasant memories of the commute.

(As a former Montessori preschool teacher, I can certainly appreciate your desire to send your dc to this school but I would caution you that it is a major undertaking.)

NestaFiesta · 21/10/2009 12:04

YABU. Your child is better off going more local so that you have local friends for her. Wait til they start getting invited to play dates and birthday parties and they are all an hour away!

carocaro · 21/10/2009 12:10

YABU

You would get deep vein thrombosis from all that sitting in the car and you child would also get very pissed off, fall asleep at the wrong time, need a wee etc etc etc

Lots of variables, like traffic james etc etc etc

Casserole · 21/10/2009 12:53

Why don't you move nearer the school you want?

Original poster
me4sunny · 21/10/2009 13:27

Casserole

school i want is in west hemstead in london, a three-four bed falt or house there is far beyond what we can afford, plus the school fees :-) I am more or less at the point of house morgadge OR school fees 9especially because we want a number two and IF i decide to send DC1 to a public school DC2 would need to go to a public school as well) - so - all in all trying to find a solution that would hold for years (if nothing major happens)

on top of it ... I am not from UK and find UK school system a bit ... too different for my liking, sorry! I've started my school at 7 (and not at 5) and i haven't have real exams/tests up until I was 14! so I think I am trying to find a school that comes closer to what I would want for my kids based on my personal experience, and that is also the reason I am not considering state schools at the moment ...

If I would ... there are two nice state schools near by but again we would need ot move and thre again we don't have anything under 600.000

so it all comes back to the ... well ... money!

OP posts:
Original poster
me4sunny · 21/10/2009 13:29

oh, and moving closer to the montessori school that is in our town - you would be too far away from the train station and my nanny can't drive (and I am not convinced yet, that the montessori school that is so close to us is a good one - would need to have a closer look)

OP posts:
anonymous85 · 21/10/2009 13:44

I couldn't do it

doubleexpresso · 21/10/2009 13:50

Just think of the global impact ... Choose a local nursey / school and enjoy being part of the community. Or move.

doubleexpresso · 21/10/2009 13:54

Apologies - just read OP properly and see public transport. Doing too many things at the same time. Still, point rem ains that it is good for children to be cared for / educated within their community.

Cluckyagain · 21/10/2009 13:57

Honestly - my dc are exhausted enough after a long day at school and then homework - you are setting both of you up for a very miserable time. Sorry if this sounds harsh but this is speaking from experience.

wishingchair · 21/10/2009 13:58

Don't just look at the OFSTED report ... actually visit the place. Whether you like it will mean so much more than whether they manage to tick the boxes OFSTED require on the day.

alana39 · 21/10/2009 14:02

And from the other side of it, we went to a primary school that was 30-40 minutes drive in the rush hour - because it was the nearest catholic school to home. I hated the drive, hated the fact that most of my friends lived really near school so we couldn't meet up easily, and all the other kids in my street had a 3 minute walk.

Obviously I don't remember what it was like at nursery / rception age, and it was a lovely school, but bear in mind what it will be like for your kids when they're older as well.

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