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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be p*ssed off that ds1 is missing the school trip today?

100 replies

beansprout · 14/10/2009 09:56

I arrived at school this morning to discover that ds1's class is going on a trip today, but not ds1, as I knew nothing about it.

When I spoke to the teacher she told me that she was not there on the day the forms were given out. This happens to be a day that I work and ds1 goes to after school club so I can see how that by the time he is picked up, at 5pm, he has forgotten about the letter. The teacher said she was surprised that ds1 was not on the list to go, but she does see me on a regular basis, so why not mention it?

Ds1 has struggled to settle in (he has just started reception) so that fact that he going to be left behind today is particularly upsetting.

OP posts:
starwhoreswonaprize · 14/10/2009 09:57

Why couldn't you sign the form there and then and DS1 could go?

starwhoreswonaprize · 14/10/2009 09:57

Do you work today and could you take him?

3littlefrogs · 14/10/2009 09:58

That is ridiculous. Surely someone could have reminded you? How old is ds?

sb6699 · 14/10/2009 10:01

I agree with 3littlefrogs. That is ridiculous.

When they realised they didnt have a form for him yesterday, they should have phoned.

Surely they realise "pupil mail" is totally unreliable!

Fennel · 14/10/2009 10:01

That's really sad, I missed a letter about a trip for my 5yo last week, similar reasons I don't usually do pick-up, but luckily it wasn't one that needed a reply for so she got to go.

I would complain, the school should check that the letter got to you, in our school the women in the office tend to phone about such things, which can be a bit irrritating at work (when they phone about why 9yo dd1 hasn't handed in her lunch ticket yet again) but it does mean we don't miss out on things totally through having forgetful children and being working parents. the school should be used to working parents and try to help them. especially with a 4yo who's just started.

diddl · 14/10/2009 10:01

Good grief!

How long ago was it organised?

We get letters well in advance,& children are reminded when they haven´t sent a reply in.

When mine first started school I looked through bags every day to see what work they had done & check for letters.

Is it possiblehe didn´t want togoand "lost" the letter?

GrimmaTheNome · 14/10/2009 10:02

YANBU - I'd be pissed off by that too. The teacher really should have checked rather than assuming that no form returned meant 'no'.

Reception age kids are not reliable message bearers. Mind you, older kids aren't either - I still have to root through DDs bag every evening and she's yr6!

diddl · 14/10/2009 10:03

Sorry, spacebar playing up.

Original poster
beansprout · 14/10/2009 10:05

Ds1 will be 5 in a couple of weeks. I am not sure when it was organised but only know it is full up and he cannot go now. There is weekly newsletter which I have asked and asked about, as we have only received one to date. We were asked to give our e-mail addresses but, natch, nothing by e-mail either. Am going to write to the head as I am really fed up and feel for ds1 who has had real problems settling in.

OP posts:
runnyhabbit · 14/10/2009 10:06

Yanbu, esp as the teacher sees you on a regular basis.

Ds1 class has started putting the letters up on a easel outside the classroom (which leads straight on to playground at pick up) so even if we haven't had a copy, we can see whats going on.

Perhaps you could get a couple of other mums/dads/carers numbers, and maybe a weekly text of whats going on?

Rachmumoftwo · 14/10/2009 10:07

Not acceptable at all. The school should have sent out reminders and contacted parents who had not replied. As a teacher (off with flu) I would have had a list of all of the children in my class, ticked them off and personally chased up any missing forms. So would the school secretary. No-one should miss out like this.

What are the school planning to do with your child today as his whole class will be out?

3littlefrogs · 14/10/2009 10:09

He is only 4????? That is really appalling.

Pyrocanthus · 14/10/2009 10:15

That's poor - the form should require that you reply yes or no, and the school should chase up those who haven't replied. Especially in the case of the younger ones.

Original poster
beansprout · 14/10/2009 10:15

Have been on the phone to the school. The office is just telling me he "should" have got the letter (I know!). I have been told that there are no places left on the coach (it is a whole school trip, it gets better...) and so have asked someone to check if there are any absences today and if so, if ds1 could take the place please. The office person has gone off to speak to the class teacher and is calling me back.

Will be writing to the head, either way

OP posts:
PurpleEgluggedblood · 14/10/2009 10:25

That is really appalling. Agree with Rachelmumoftwo that most teachers would chase any missing forms to check whether it had been forgotton.

Even more shocking that it is a whole school trip. Your poor DS.

Rachmumoftwo · 14/10/2009 10:26

A whole school trip?! It just gets worse. Did they not send out reminders on purpose to avoid paying for a bigger coach? I am really shocked and very cross on your behalf. If you don't get satisfaction from the head, take it to the governors!

JemintheGraveyardwithghouls · 14/10/2009 10:28

That's awful.

Hope it gets resolved.

facebookaddict · 14/10/2009 10:29

Poor little thing, make sure to tell him that he's only been excluded down to an error and that you will make it up to him with a big treat on Saturday!!!! Poor little beansprout!

Original poster
beansprout · 14/10/2009 10:33

Have just spoken to the teacher who "can only apologise". I have been very calm but very clear that it this is not good enough. She clearly feels that handing out letters to 4 year olds is sufficient and can do no more than that. Ds1 will stay behind with 2 other children this afternoon. If I collect him early, it will be noted as an unauthorised absence. She said she only got the list yesterday so couldn't do anything.

It's not just this - we have only received one of the weekly newsletters all term and also, the school never has any uniform so I have one polo shirt for him which I have to keep washing despite having paid for the lot in July!!

Am going to write to the head and will definitely be treating ds1 at the weekend!

OP posts:
Squishabelle · 14/10/2009 10:35

If the whole school is going then it would be a very very strange co-incidence if the numbers going fitted EXACTLY into the coach(es) with no spare seats. If they say otherwise - check it out.

RubyrubyrubysAScaryOldBint · 14/10/2009 10:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sb6699 · 14/10/2009 10:37

A whole school trip!

When I first read this I was sad for your ds now I'm bloody angry on his behalf.

School really isn't doing its job properly if they assume that a 4-year old is definately going to pass on letters.

Ours tend to put reminder notices on the windows so you see them when dropping off. My ds is year 6 and still it seems to be a regular occurrance that the notices on the windows are the first I hear of any planned trips/concerts.

Still not sure why they couldnt have called yesterday even if it is short notice.

sb6699 · 14/10/2009 10:38

Should also add DD1 is in reception and the teacher personally puts any letters in the childrens book bags.

TrickOrNinks · 14/10/2009 10:38

Totally out of order, the office where I worked always phoned if a child hadn't had a permission form sent back. Parents can't be expected to know everything and my year threes were unreliable.

Poor little chap

Pyrocanthus · 14/10/2009 10:39

Grrr.

On the practical side, it might be an idea to suggest a system that was brought in to the foundation/KS1 part of our school - copies of newsletters and notes home are posted on a notice board near the cloakroom and the area where children come in to change their reading books, so that you can keep an eye on what's on there when you're in school.

The office would still have phoned or sent out a reminder note about a trip though.