To be p*ssed off that ds1 is missing the school trip today?

[beansprout]

I arrived at school this morning to discover that ds1's class is going on a trip today, but not ds1, as I knew nothing about it.

When I spoke to the teacher she told me that she was not there on the day the forms were given out. This happens to be a day that I work and ds1 goes to after school club so I can see how that by the time he is picked up, at 5pm, he has forgotten about the letter. The teacher said she was surprised that ds1 was not on the list to go, but she does see me on a regular basis, so why not mention it?

Ds1 has struggled to settle in (he has just started reception) so that fact that he going to be left behind today is particularly upsetting.

[Poledra]

for your DS. What a stupid system. When DD1's Reception class had permission slips for their school trip last term, the teacher was in the playground on the last day theslips were due in asking each parent who had not yet returned a slip if they had it. And she also had spare slips so you could fill one in on the spot if you'd forgotten.

[Squishabelle]

I went to the head,governors, council and even the activity centre directly - all to no avail.

I understand from a school governor friend that really the school should ask for an 'expression of interest' first and THEN book the required number of places and if these are not available then the trip shouldnt go ahead.

[Blondeshavemorefun]

this is terrible!!!

our school sends out a letter and we have to fill in yes or no

teacher obv has to check that she has all of the class's replys

would like to think school would ring and check if we didnt send form in

your poor dc - he is only 4 and just getting used to school and rules etc

i always check dc (nearly 7) bag for letters etc daily - though obv helps if your ds was given a letter in the first place!!!

[mazzystartled]

Squaishabelle - that is awful - Imagine organising something KNOWING that a tiny number of kids will be excluded. Very poor. Actually incompetent.

[AtheneNoctua]

OMG. First and foremost that is completely unreasonable. Imagine leaving a 4 year old behind while the rest of the not only class but entire school goes off on a trip. That is down right cruel and as you rightly point out damaging to his education as they are (presumably) aware of his problems settling in. I would be sooooooo bloody furious. I would formally ask the head in writing TODAY for the day off. And I would point out later if she refuses it so that no only has she refused him entry to the trip, but also insisted he sit there and watch everyone else go.

Secondly, does you son go to my kids' school because I have similar gripes all the time. Last Friday the teacher put someone else's homework in DD's book bag and so we had to scramble on e-mail for the homework from other parents. How can you expect a six year old to do homework and study her spelling and math for a test when you don't give it to her, even when it is brought ot your attention that you have not given it to her???

[WartoScreamo]

YANBU! It is really terrible that they can expect a 4 yo to take responsibility for such a thing! Poor ds

I'm abroad, but at dd's school, trips aren't optional! If there is one - you go on it. If you hadn't paid - the dc would still go, but they would chase you for the money. For the little ones, I guess you have the option to keep them at home, but once at Primary level, that is not acceptable. (Presumably unless there is a very, very good reason.)

All pupils have a folder though for communications which goes in their bag each day - which I think is a really good idea. All letters have to be signed.

[BarakObamasTransitVan]

(other than fuckwits) words fail me.

My ds's school has a notice board and an A-board, both prominantly placed so that if you miss a letter, there's a good chance you'll know about it, iyswim.

[beansprout]

I have written a v reasonable letter to the head that outlines my concerns. It is pretty evident from the letter that I am not impressed with the teacher and I am "looking forward to hearing her views on this". I also know one of the parent governors so will have a chat with him too!

Will let you know how I get on!!

The school is in NW London btw .

[islandofsodor]

Go get him now. Sod unauthorised absence, this is totally unacceptible and I would be LIVID.

Then put in a formal complaint to the governors. This is not good enough!

[claw3]

If they want to mark it as an unauthorised absence, tell them you will write to Education Authority explaining exactly why he wasnt in school.

How upsetting for him.

[Disenchanted3]

Are you going to go collect him?

[jicky]

Surely for a whole school trip you work out number of children, plus number of adults required and then cost / book seats based on that. If some don't pay/go the school looses money.

I bet they promised another parent helper the coach seat and didn't then want to tell them they couldn't go.

Also agree that anything important for school has a chance for a negative response - so they know the parent got the letter, and so children can go and the parents not pay the contribution. If it is part of the national curriculum then lack of paying up front shouldn't of prevented your ds from going and the school should have wanted to know why you didn't want him to take part. If it is just a jolly then they can hardly say your ds is an unauthorised absence.

[paisleyleaf]

That's awful. I'm sure our letters say "DC will/will not be coming" (delete as applicable). So that they get a response either way, not just the "yes".
That way they know they've heard from everyone.
It's terrible this has been allowed to happen to your DS.

[Rachmumoftwo]

I would also want to know who is looking after the children not attending and what quality eductional experiences they are offering in lieu of the trip?

[mumto3boys]

This all sounds a bit fishy to me - on the part of the school I mean, not you. So you missed a letter - nothing completely unusual. But where were the reminder slips? Where was the letter a couple of days before with the do / don't wear uniform, bring packed lunch, money for souveneirs etc?

If it was a whole school trip, there should be enough places for the whole school.

And, if he's not 5 yet, it's not unauthorised absence is it? I'm sure it's not.

I am shocked that they let this happen. I bet any money they only had a certain number of spaces, which is just under the number of pupils in the school, or they would have to book more coaches. They relied on some parents not bothering to reply, and therefore didn't do reminders. What they didn't bank on was an interested parent not getting the letter and now (rightly so) kicking up a fuss.

Your poor DS. My twins have just started school and something likethis would devastate them. I really feel for you both.

An afterthought - I find it very odd that from an entire school, in Oct when there are so many bugs flying around, that there is not one pupil off sick whose place he could take!

[LaurelLeaf]

I am horrified at this too. I would definitely be picking him up from school straight away. After all, can it even count as an unauthorised absence if he's only 4 - legally he doesn't have to be in school until the term after his fifth birthday.

[freakname]

agree with it being fishy - how can it be a whole school trip and be on a first come first served basis?

That does not make any sense at all. Only 3 not going? Very odd indeed.

[Disenchanted3]

Totally agree with mumof3boys!

[AtheneNoctua]

I would find out if there were more parent/teacher helpers than were actually required by ofsted ratios and then I would point out that the school was choosing for a parent to atend before a pupil.

Oh, I am angry on your behalf.

And yes as he is 4 and therefore school for him is not compulsory there is no unexcused absense.

[beansprout]

Thanks again for some really useful infomation. School life is new to me so I hadn't realised some of this and there are some really useful points here!

Of course (duh), the lack of reply should have indicated that we didn't receive the letter . Will wait to what the Head says. I don't want to go in guns blazing as I don't want to start things off on the wrong foot but as you all say, this really isn't good enough. I really do appreciate your support - thank you!!

[diddl]

I don´t think it´s unreasonable to send letters home with children.

Unless the teacher is there & sees every child collected & can hand to the parent/adult collecting.

In primary school ours had a cardboard folder in their school bag specifically for letters from school.

All letters have a slip the bottom that must be signed to say yes or no to a trip/activity or just to say letter recieved.

[scroobiuspirate]

they forgot/overlooked, they are being arses.

[haggisaggis]

Think the school is VERY unreasonable.

DOnt know how this would work in a larger school, but our (very small) primary uses "red folders" for parent letters etc. These are fabric zipped folders in a bright red colour marked clearly with the surname(we have one per family - not per child, but we're a small school)
Every Friday they come home with any important notices, forms etc and every Monday they go back to school with teh completed forms and / or dinner money.
Works brilliantly!
Mind you, school is so small that the school would just phone you up if you had forgotten to return a form.

[beansprout]

This is a one form intake school and at the moment there are only 18 children in ds1's class with a teacher and a TA.

Arrived at school to be told he has cried a lot today. I wonder why?

[bibbitybobbityCAT]

This is a very sorry tale and, for whatever reason, it has been handled absolutely terribly by the school. I'm sure I speak for all of us on this thread when I say we'd love to hear their excuses/the outcome of it all. You will update us won't you?