to become an extended bfeeder just to wind my friends up?

[AutomatedAlice]

I was talking with two friends who have similar aged babies (about 11 months) when I said I didn't know when I'll stop breastfeeding. One said,'but at 12 months they go on to cow's milk', and the other said, 'but when you get pregnant with your second you'll have to stop'. So I started playing devil's advocate and mentioned tandem feeding (which actually sounds like quite hard work to me). Both were horrified at the thought.

AIBU to continue bfeeding indefinitely just to see their reaction?

(Sorry if I should have put this in the feeding topic, but I've never had an AIBU thread )

'If you don't like it don't look' - it's often too late for that!! I think the issue with it being done in public with older children is that they don't need it like babies do. And no boobs aren't offensive as such but at the end of the day they are 'private parts' - can't think of a better way to put it, so imo it should be done discreetly.

boobs are private parts? scratches head.

not by the what my town centre looks like on the average friday and saturday night.

That's what I was trying to say Woozlet, you have just put it better than me.

I quite like boobs. No problem here if they stop being private parts and women start going topless like men do.

I was nursing ds2 on a chair in john lewis on wednesday, right next to the posh pen counter. He is 21 months and he did need it, so i nursed him. I think some attitudes here are completely unhelpful really. Who is to say that a toddler doesnt need to be nursed? It isnt all about nutritional value and no they arent 'private parts'. At the moment they are his comfort, security, thirst quencher, at times nourishment and relaxer. They are anything but private. That being said i dont flash them everywhere, but i am not concerned if as he's latching on or off if they are exposed.

And he twiddles the other nipple when he can get his little hands to it. It's what he does and perfectly natural.

pooexplosions - ditto

woozlet - i think you are ptob feeling how you do because you're experience and also lack of iyswim.

Chunky - does your child sleeping mean you're a better parent? Where does that come into anything? Most babies eventually sleep. Shame your friends are so focused on that. Glad your 2 are happy healthy kids, as are mine. Different strokes for different folks. If my ds2 is still nursing when he is 4, i hope i happen to bump into you for your pearls of wisdom..

Sassybeast - what a fantastic link

Your child doesn't need a fruitshoot and a sausae roll, so I demand you not feed them in public as it makes me umcomfortable. After all I can't avert my eyes as its just too late once I catch a glimpse....

Boobs are private parts? I think you are confused....boobs are for feeding babies. They are mammaries, and we are mammals. The single defining function of our species is our milk making capabilities. So you can take your prudish, squeamish, oh so obviously misguidedly misogynistic sensibilities,wrap them in a Daily Mail and shove it. My boobs will do what they were designed to do and if my child is above the arbitrarily decided age that makes you squirm in your seat, then all the better.
Your problem, not mine.

Those who do natural term feed to spite somebody or to wind up a person are doing it for themselves, not the child and also those that Woozlet have highlighted:

I plan to carry on until he says 'please remove that breast from my mouth mother'"

"I was most seriously displeased when ds decided to quit."

"breastfeeding your baby is the best way, for as long as either of you need to"

To try and keep going despite the child not wanting is not right and the mothers has to question her motives for wanting to continue as the second comment highlighted and the mother in Woozlets nursery:

"I'll give you another example - at DS's nursery there is a mum who comes down at lunchtime to breastfeed. Her son doesn't appear to WANT to breastfeed, so the mum sits there with her boob hanging out saying 'do you not want mummy's milk?'. Whose benefit is that for? he doesn't want the comfort and obviously isn't hungry as they have just eaten lunch".

Surely if you want to continue it should be primarily for the child not because either of you need to, either the child needs to or not if they dont need or want to continue than it should stop.

Why cant people express into a cup or beaker and the child drink it that way so that they get the nutritional benefits, that is certainlysomething i would consider if bf had worked out

because children generally should be drinking from cups they are old enouch to

Pooexplosions - can I just say I am not against breastfeeding at all, I breastfed my son when he was a toot and would have loved to keep going til he was 6months - 1 ie a baby, that's me though if you keep going feeding your child that is none of my business.

Fruitshoots and sausage rolls - yes well you and I could be eating those too.

And yes boobs are private parts, not so much as a fanjo but still we don't go about with our nips hanging out. I don't have a problem with feeding in public, I just think it should be done discreetly, because it can be, so why wouldn't you?!

Anyway we are getting a bit off topic. The OP is being unreasonable, for the reason that she would be keeping going for her own reasons, which is what doesn't sit well with me.

You know what depresses the heck out of me? The endless capacity for mothers to make other mothers feel really crap for the parenting decisions they make.

In this country where we're quite able to access fresh water and sterilise bottles, there is no one true way. There's only whatever way works best for the mother and her entire family. What would be nice is if mothers could support other mothers in their parenting decisions whether or not they made the same choices.

No one on this thread has been abusing their children either by bottle feeding, or breast feeding or weaning earlier than someone else or prolonging their breastfeeding (though I agree that the needs of the child are paramount either way - as it happens, it benefited mine that I switched to formula at 6-8 weeks because it was screwing me up so much both mentally and physically; and they needed a Mum who could function.)

I really feel that some of this righteous indignation would be better served helping children who are in serious trouble because their basic needs aren't being met.

Wll when you go on the AIBU thread there will be various opinions not everyone will disagree with you, if you are happy and comfortable with your decisions than there is no reason to feel that way, i have an opinion as do others and should feel free to express it

As is quoted at the top of this post on mumsnet"Please bear in mind that this topic encourages posters to give their opinions - i.e. they might disagree with you. That said, in line with our Talk policy elsewhere, we don't allow personal attacks no matter how unreasonable you think someone is. Do report any you see. Thanks, MNHQ."

If you want a more supportive thread i suggest going on the breast/bottlefeeding forum and finding the extended bf thread

Isnt a transition that toddlers/children will move on from bottle/breast to drinking out of an open cup or sippy cut, look at the NHS book they give you during pregnancy.

i meant to say not everyone will agree with you oops

`Breasts are not private parts, man toys or any other such delightful label as chosen on this thread. They are there to feed our young. That is their purpose.

I do wish that we would stop thinking of them as some sort of forbidden thing that should only be seen and controlled by men. Is it ok to have breasts on display if they are being purchased by a man from the shelf of a newsagent, but there is a time and place to see them being used for their actual purpose? How many of you who complain about seeing women use their breasts in public for what they were designed complain to newsagents about the flesh on display in Nuts or similar? Come on, surprise me!

a agree pfftthemagic dragon i hate it when i see women with their tits hanging out in a nightclub and on top shelf magazines, i find that offensive not seeing a woman bf her baby/toddler

Maybe I am being a prude! I'll try and explain where I am coming from and will probably dig myself further down.

Say I am in a cafe and I see a mum feeding her little baby but I can't actually see much I think aww. When I see a woman sit their with her tit out til her walking child will come for a feed I can't help but think that I didn't want to see that when I am eating my lunch.

And yes of course boobs primary function is feeding. But they do have other purposes too which is what make them more private imo.

The op in this thread was inflammatory and smug. "Oh look at my stupid friends and their silly beliefs shall I prove them wrong by extended breastfeeding, that'll show them."

Breastfeeders (extended or otherwise) will just have to accept that they are never going to convince everyone that their choices are right for all.

I breastfed and I also don't like seeing little tiny babies with great big bottles of formula in their mouths. But I wouldn't dream of sneering at and belittling people who choose to feed that way.