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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to become an extended bfeeder just to wind my friends up?

148 replies

AutomatedAlice · 08/10/2009 15:53

I was talking with two friends who have similar aged babies (about 11 months) when I said I didn't know when I'll stop breastfeeding. One said,'but at 12 months they go on to cow's milk', and the other said, 'but when you get pregnant with your second you'll have to stop'. So I started playing devil's advocate and mentioned tandem feeding (which actually sounds like quite hard work to me). Both were horrified at the thought.

AIBU to continue bfeeding indefinitely just to see their reaction?

(Sorry if I should have put this in the feeding topic, but I've never had an AIBU thread )

OP posts:
pigletmania · 08/10/2009 18:47

sorry had to throw that one in when i read Moonlights post

FranklyIDontGiveAMam · 08/10/2009 18:52

I can breastfeed from meself. Saves time fixing up the pump when I'm away from baby and it is more portable.

Jacksmamwahahaha · 08/10/2009 19:44

Eh?
How??

FranklyIDontGiveAMam · 08/10/2009 19:57

I got big boobs, - can only do it when they are full though. soft don't seem to reach.

bibbitybobbityCAT · 08/10/2009 20:00

Oh gawd how horribly smug

Ronaldinhio · 08/10/2009 20:08

being deliberately contrary is only good if it's easy....
yabu to breastfeed purely for the reaction of your friends
what next suckle pigs?

FranklyIDontGiveAMam · 08/10/2009 20:21

Yes, - why shouldn't I be smug!?

FlamingoBingo · 08/10/2009 20:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

pointyhat · 08/10/2009 21:14

YANBU but possibly are being a bit bonkers

MrsBadger · 08/10/2009 21:23

yanbu

I would have done it, and for similar bloodyminded up-yours impeccable reasons, but after 6m of ttc with no periods nor sign of any I gave in...

SardineQueen · 08/10/2009 21:27

YANBU.

Aasume you are jeff noon fan

ChunkyMonkeysMum · 08/10/2009 22:50

FlamingoBingo - I am most certainly not ignorant nor rude, but I think there is a time and a place for breastfeeding older children if you feel the need to do it (younger babies, no problem at all), and a 3 year old running around the clubhouse at a caravan site with a bag of sweets in his hand, then lifting his mums top in front of a function room full of people to ask for "boobie pease" whilst fiddling with his mums nipple, is not the time nor place !!!

I was not being rude or ignorant towards you, was I ??! I was just merely stating my opinion, which is what AIBU threads are all about. I was not directing my comment at any one person in particular like you did when you had to mention my name in your comment. You, therefore, are far more rude & ignorant than me !!

mybabywakesupsinging · 09/10/2009 00:59

ds2 used to say "time mummy milk" when he thought it was bed time

Jacksmamwahahaha · 09/10/2009 03:11

Awwww

Reallytired · 09/10/2009 11:00

I have to laugh at the niavity of ChunkyMonkeysMum. Children outgrow breastfeeding just like they outgrow nappies, the need to be constantly watched.

It minds me of a health visitor who told me when my son was 17 months old that it was disgusting to be feeding a child who was old enough to be walking and talking. My answer was "Well, that's OK then, my son neither walking nor talking."

You have to follow a child's development. My son was not emotionally ready to give up breastfeeding until two and half years old. His development was delayed. Infact he was under the local child development centre. He was very much a baby.

Prehaps the question to be asked as a child gets older is what kind of attention do they desire. Are they nursing because they are bored or hungry. Is nursing always the best way of meeting a child's emotional needs? Sometimes it is.

There is a difference between gently teaching a child to do without the breast and forcing them to wean. In fact parenting is a series of weanings. Whether its learning to use the potty, going to school or leaving home.

My son has been weaned for over five years now, but he still needs emotional imput. He likes to be read to and to chat about his day at school. However I am sure his emotional needs will change when he becomes a teenager.

FlamingoBingo · 09/10/2009 11:03

The fact remains, though, that it is not biologically normal for a child to have weaned before they're 2 or 3, and perfectly normal for them to continue well beyond that.

The only reason ignorant people like Chunky think that there are appropriate times and places is because of stupid cultural conditioning. You don't say 'there's a time and a place for cuddles' or 'there's a time and a place for a drink'. It is ignorant to see a normal thing as something that should be hidden, or kept for certain times and places.

PeedOffWithNits · 09/10/2009 11:12

here here FB, I bf DS till he was 2.9 and starting nursery - i only stopped because of the preceived "unusualness" of it, and I did not want him talking about it at nursery/getting teased/ being reported-- to SS for child abuse etc

PeedOffWithNits · 09/10/2009 11:12

reported

WoTmania · 09/10/2009 11:15

YANBU

and Tandem feeding isn't that hard. Honest .

ChunkyMonkeysMum · 09/10/2009 14:25

It is not a case of being "ignorant" FB......everbody is entitled to their own opinion. I could say that you're ignorant for not being concerned about the fact that breastfeeding a child of 2 or 3 or older in public makes a lot of people feel very uncomfortable! What you choose to do in the privacy of your own home is up to you. My cousin was a big lad & was only being breastfed because he was my auntie's last child & she didn't want to let him grow up.

ReallyTired - Why am I being naive ???

Am I not entitled to my own opinion ??!

ChunkyMonkeysMum · 09/10/2009 14:29

And as for there being a time and a place.......a young baby needs feeding, so this is perfectly acceptable to see a mother nursing her child. However, a 3 year old does not need to be breastfed in public as by that age they are quite able to eat & drink other things. Surely nobody's 3 year old is ONLY having breast milk and nothing else each day ???
So, yes, there is a time and a place for breastfeeding an older child.

Stigaloid · 09/10/2009 14:33

YANBU - i plan on only FF for exactly the same reasons

megapixels · 09/10/2009 14:53

"My cousin was a big lad & was only being breastfed because he was my auntie's last child & she didn't want to let him grow up."

Gosh I hate it when people make their own assumptions about other people's decisions. Did your aunt say that she doesn't want her child to grow up as it was her last? . And you absolutely cannot make a child breastfeed when it has decided it's time to wean, believe me I tried and tried and tried with my 18 month old because I had pigheadedly decided that I was going to continue bfing her till the age of 2.

megapixels · 09/10/2009 14:56

Posted before finishing.

I finally had to give up, after much tears and frustration on both our parts, that my baby didn't want to bf anymore. If a child is breastfeeding, it's because he/she definitely wants to do it.

ChunkyMonkeysMum · 09/10/2009 15:07

megapixels - YES, my auntie did admit that she was trying to keep him a baby as he was her last & that she was the one who wanted to carry on breastfeeding !!! Therefore, I have not made assumptions about anyone.

I'm not saying it's wrong, it's your choice if you want to breastfeed a child until they are ready to stop, I just don't think that this needs to be done in a public place as they are more than capable of eating & drinking other things by this age.

stigaloid - Who was your post aimed at ? You plan to FF for the same reasons as who ?