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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to become an extended bfeeder just to wind my friends up?

148 replies

AutomatedAlice · 08/10/2009 15:53

I was talking with two friends who have similar aged babies (about 11 months) when I said I didn't know when I'll stop breastfeeding. One said,'but at 12 months they go on to cow's milk', and the other said, 'but when you get pregnant with your second you'll have to stop'. So I started playing devil's advocate and mentioned tandem feeding (which actually sounds like quite hard work to me). Both were horrified at the thought.

AIBU to continue bfeeding indefinitely just to see their reaction?

(Sorry if I should have put this in the feeding topic, but I've never had an AIBU thread )

OP posts:

pigletmania · 09/10/2009 18:05

he he he flamingo thought i might get flamed but held out but just could not keep my opinion to myself . I just said that i would not do it myself, of course its up to everyone to do as they wish and bollox to everyone

ChunkyMonkeysMum · 09/10/2009 18:07

Well, actually FB, you are the one person who has attacked me just for voicing my opinion !!! You called me rude & ignorant. IMO, that is an attack.

However, my message to piglet was a little bit of a joke.

Seems like no-one on this thread is entitled to their opinion unless they completely agree with bfeeding until the child decides for itself that it's time to stop !!

Not once in my first post did I question anyone else's opinion on bfeeding a toddler or older child, just said that I didn't agree with it, yet I have had question after question & fact & opinions thrown back at me.

FlamingoBingo · 09/10/2009 18:11

How can saying that an opinion is ignorant, which yours is, be an attack?

Piglet - how is disagreeing with you flaming you?

It really pisses me off that providing information as part of disagreeing with a poster gets described as flaming or attacking. How does one have a debate on the internet without people taking it personally!

No one said you couldn't have an opinion, just that yours is based on misinformation. If you still hold that opinion, knowing what you know now, then fine. But you, and piglet, seem to think it's neither normal, nor beneficial, to breastfeed beyond a certain age and both of those beliefs are inaccurate.

pigletmania · 09/10/2009 18:13

I am not saying bf is wrong on the contrary, i would definitely loved so much if bf were to have worked for me and feel sad that it did not and had to resort to formula, but if it had i personally would have bf until 2 mabey and then stop and feel happy that i got this far and did well. Just an opinion, the support for bf is rubbish and if we do have another dc would consult a bf counseller

ChunkyMonkeysMum · 09/10/2009 18:14

But what benefits does it bring FB that FF doesn't ???

Neither of my DS's were bf at all & they are both healthy and happy children, who sleep & eat well & are hardly ever ill.....

.....yet my cousin who was bf until he was almost 4 is always ill !!!!

So why am I wrong & you're right ????

pigletmania · 09/10/2009 18:15

no did not say that you were flaming me Flamingo i was awaiting a possible flaming on a massive scale, just typed in haste and did not think about my sentance construction woah woah lets have order

FlamingoBingo · 09/10/2009 18:16

That's different to what you originally wrote, though, piglet. I woudln't feed longer than I felt comfortable doing, but not because I don't need to, but because I don't want to. Not sure if that makes sense.

In other words, you saying you don't want to bf longer than 2 years is totally valid opinion. If you said you didn't want to because it was wrong or unnecessary or just for the mother (not saying you did say that!), then that would be a totally ignorant opinion.

Not sure if I'm making myself at all clear! I just don't like being accused of not accepting other people's opinions when I do totally, and utterly, just so long as they're not based on a load of crap information!

ChunkyMonkeysMum · 09/10/2009 18:16

Oh, and he never slept through the night as a baby, unlike my 2 !!!!

ChunkyMonkeysMum · 09/10/2009 18:20

So where's the CRAP info FB ???

And where's this f'ing wonderful info you keep spouting on about ???

Everyone's opinions are just that, their own opinions. You seem to find a way of criticising anyone who doesn't agree with you & your "facts".

I am NOT ignorant just because I don't agree with b'feeding a child over a certain age. I'm still waiting for you to tell me the benefits because as far as I can see, my FF children are much happier, healthier children than my "b'fed until 4" cousin !!

Reallytired · 09/10/2009 18:22

If mum is happy then baby will be fine. Not everyone is that bothered about a baby sleeping through the night.

ChunkyMonkeysMum I am glad that things have worked out for your children. Its good that you have found a parenting path that works for your family.

Why the need to slag off your aunt. Are you jelous. What repels you so much about breastfeeding? What is the issue?

Your aunt made her choices. Surely if you are confident with your parenting choices then there is no need to care what other people do.

pigletmania · 09/10/2009 18:23

Sorry dyslexic me, i would feed mabey 18 months 2 years max, and would wean my dc as i would feel uncomfortable doing it for longer. I dont want to attack people for their decisions to continue bf after 2 years just that i myself would not do it thats all really.

ChunkyMonkeysMum · 09/10/2009 18:26

Reallytired - I have hardly slagged off my auntie, just said that I FELT it was wrong to b/f a child of the age my cousin was at the time in a public place.

Christ !!!!

Anyone else wanna take a pop ?????????

(and btw......ALL of my friends with babies are concerned about whether their baby sleeps through the night)

ChunkyMonkeysMum · 09/10/2009 18:29

Nothing repels me about b'feeding, it just wasn't something I wanted to do.

I felt VERY uncomfortable seeing my aunt b/f her 3 year old and it put me off b'feeding altogether.

Do you wanna flame me for that too ???? Anyone ????

FlamingoBingo · 09/10/2009 18:37

Are you serious, Chunky? You seriously don't know the well-proven and well documented reasons why FF is not as good for babies as BF?

And your DCs being happy and healthy and FF vs. your aunt's baby being less happy and less healthy and BFed does not make a very scientific basis for an opinion .

Sorry, I'm not having a very easy time right now so am going to bow out of this thread now. I hope someone else can come on and explain to you the benefits of bfing - I haven't got the energy to try to appease defensive formula feeders just so they don't say I'm shouting at them, flaming them or attacking them.

Sassybeast · 09/10/2009 18:43

Chunkymonkey - try this link. It shows just how offensive breast feeding is in our society :

www.cafemom.com/journals/read/1501574/Breastfeeding_is_Offensive

ChunkyMonkeysMum · 09/10/2009 18:54

Oh FGS Sassy, have you actually read this thread ?????? I have not once said that breast feeding is offensive, just that I DID NOT like seeing my aunt b'feeding her 3 (almost) 4 year old IN PUBLIC !!!

To me, b'feeding a baby, whether in private or in public, is perfectly normal & in no way offensive, but a toddler who is eating 3 meals a day doesn't need to be b/f in public.

If you had read this whole thread, you would see that I have never once said that it is the actual boob being on display that bugs me, just seeing a 3 year old being b/f IN A PUBLIC PLACE.

pigletmania · 09/10/2009 19:06

oh dear FB did not mean to cause offense

pigletmania · 09/10/2009 19:34

just voicing my opinion, i did not say you were flaming me not at all just a possible flaming from others, there will be others that will disagree this is the AIBU thread, the breast/bottlefeeding forum is generall more supportive.

woozlet · 09/10/2009 20:34

I agree with chunkymonkey to an extent. I personally don't like to see a walking, talking child pull it's mother's top up and feed in public. There really is a time and a place for that.

I also think that sometimes it IS the mother who wants to keep going. Some of the posts in here even point towards that, some quotes from this thread -

"I plan to carry on until he says 'please remove that breast from my mouth mother'"

"I was most seriously displeased when ds decided to quit."

"breastfeeding your baby is the best way, for as long as either of you need to"

I'll give you another example - at DS's nursery there is a mum who comes down at lunchtime to breastfeed. Her son doesn't appear to WANT to breastfeed, so the mum sits there with her boob hanging out saying 'do you not want mummy's milk?'. Whose benefit is that for? he doesn't want the comfort and obviously isn't hungry as they have just eaten lunch.

And when it comes to comfort - there are other ways, especially in public.

Maybe I am just feeling like this because I couldn't BF past a month. But I am pretty sure I wouldn't be feeding a toddler in public regardless.

Sassybeast · 09/10/2009 20:36

FGS Chunkymonkey yes I've read the whole thread sweetie

VirginiaLoveGlove · 09/10/2009 20:38

I thought I would breastfeed maybe for six weeks and see how it goes from there. Four and a half years later I am still breastfeeding. If my 4 yo could have it her way, she would feed in public.

Feeding a 4yo is not something I set out to do. My daughter has asked every night save 2 this week.

pooexplosions · 09/10/2009 20:39

IF YOU DON'T LIKE TO SEE SOMETHING DON'T LOOK!!!!
Not bloody rocket science is it? You keep bleating on about being allowed your opinion, but its not just an opinion, you want to stop people doing something that makes you uncomfortable. You seriously think a mother should care more about your comfort level than the needs of her child?

The rest of your arguments are so facile as to not warrant a response.

VirginiaLoveGlove · 09/10/2009 20:43

OP, no doubt it has already been suggested but I can't resist asking.

Did you tell them why would you put them on cow's milk when human milk is free?

Morloth · 09/10/2009 20:43

I don't get why people care whether people extend breastfeed or not. Not my boobs, not my kid. Are breasts really so ugly and offensive that the mere glimpse of a nipple or the very thought of a toddler twiddling one is enough to upset people?

Who gives a fuck what other people do with their boobs?

pigletmania · 09/10/2009 21:11

My sentiments exactly Wooozlet

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