to think that if you make a huge fuss every time your child falls over, you're not doing them any favours?

[SCARYspicemonster]

My toddler (in common with most of them I expect) quite often trips up when we're walking down the road. He never cries when he does, just picks himself up and I say 'oh dear, never mind' or something similar.

Today was walking along and there is a woman coming towards me with a child of a similar age who trips and falls over. Not badly and not hurt as far as I can see. Her mum stopped and made a huge fuss and the child started sobbing as if they'd really hurt themself but from what I could see, there were no injuries.

Surely we want to encourage our children to have a bit of stoicism or school's going to be hell?

Am prepared to be flamed for this

humility is proportionate to sobriety here, also scarySpice

My DD now yells cheerfully 'I have fallen on my dignity/I have banged my dignity' every time she falls over. Now that's what I call training

I'm also of the 'You've got another one, haven't you?' school when they bang their knee, elbow etc.

In The Continuum Concept, the author, Jean Liedloff was living with Amazonian Indians & says she saw a 6yo accidentally get hit in the arm with an arrow and didn't cry; someone just removed it & he carried on as normal, she says because no-one made a fuss if anyone injured themselves. (A bit OTT, perhaps, for us )

I wonder what Amazonian MN would be like?

'AIBU to want my newborn to get her lip pierced?'

Sorry, was in bad taste... off to bed!

tearing- I'm assuming that arrow hadn't been laced with curare then. Just as well...

Golly, good point (no pun intended) - I hadn't thought of that! Presumably if it had, a little fuss would've been in order...

I really think it depends on the kids themselves to a certain extent.

I've always been of the "there, there, up you get, it's only a little scratch/bump/etc, let's carry on" camp

DD (3) is a complete drama queen, this morning she fell over & had the tiniest scratch on her hand, full on tears for ages, no consoling her....She is completely OTT and it drives me mad

DS (almost 2) OTOH fell over earlier this week & had a huge bump, bruise & scratch in the middle of his forehead. He stood up, went "ouch" as he briefly rubbed his head, and then carried on walking (If that had been DD we would have had wailing for hours)

Au contraire, I think you make very little fuss if hit with a curare-laced arrow. Maybe just a muffled "mmmph" as you hit the deck.

Perhaps my own mother was an Amazonian as she was very adverse to "bothering the doctor" with trivia like broken arms.

I prefer not to over-dramatise small mishaps and save the cuddles for more emotional issues involving sadness or fear.
My OH is so ridiculous though, he swoops in with an icepack and a plaster and a demands a full enquiry over any, tiny injury. It is so annoying, he is very acusatory and behaves as if I had pushed DS down the stairs if he falls.
Now my DS is starting to panic over tiny bumps and scraps, demanding ice or a plaster or both. Not helpful and I don't see how this can possibly help him to have confidence in his own ability to heal without a layer of plasters, or have a grasp on what is and isn't a serious injury and calmly take the necessary steps to cope.
It is tempting to go too far down the road of stoicism, just to counteract the drama queenery, but that wouldn't be fair on my DS.

When we're with my MIL the kids have never even go to the falling over stage. The woman sees danger in everything and we all sit very still, not moving, eating or drinking...

Once my niece was round there and she had some dry skin behind one ear, my MIL panicked my SIL into taking the kid to the emergency dr's!!

I was always treated stoically, so I'm stoic and so are my kids. My husband though is a bit of a drama queen, god bless him!!!

I am of the "Oh dear, up you get" school too.

Mind you you do have to be a bit careful. My parents were such extreme members of the "It's only a flesh wound" brigade that I walked up and down Snowdon with a broken arm, and my brother was send out for a run to "work off" a broken toe!

And in later life, my other brother was advised to "go to bed early with a book and a toddy - you're just tired after your journey. You'll be fine in the morning. You do have a wonderful tan, but the way" He had hepatitis!

Ds is 4, we sometimes do the "wow! That was SPECTACULAR! You flew like a superhero! Did you do it on purpose? (are you ok? Here, kiss better ( rub rub)) that was a proper wipeout wasn't it!" ...unless he isvery obviously in pain in which case he gets quiet gentle voice, calm mummy and hugs. Never understood the hysteria approach and MIL's method of shouting scross the room "you're ok get up big boys don't cry" drives me bonkers.

homebird your Mum sounds like mine. Actually vomited on the door mat once when i was complaining about tummy ache and told to go to school as fresh air would do me good..

My dd (2)is indestructible and shrugs off injuries that would have made me cry! If she does burst into tears I know she has really hurt herself and take it quite seriously - obviously not over the top, just cuddles and checking she's breathing/no bones at funny angles/ no gushing blood....
Pretty sure she would be different if I had made a huge fuss over every tiny bump though. I guess it does very much depend on the parents' reaction when they are very tiny. Do agree that some people seem to fly into a panic the moment a toddler trips up. What do they do with serious injuries (eg head first off a worktop onto concrete floor? Been there, done that...). Do they hyperventilate?

ds is generally quite robust and will be reassured with a quick 'oh dear, up you get' approach. So when he does wail it's a big signal that it really, really hurts and he gets lots of sympathy (a big hug, not a full West End production.

Am with kitbite on this, try to use humour, whilst acknowledging they've hurt themselves... works well for my DCs for minor scrapes...

Adults can make it worse. All children fall over and hurt themselves. DD2 fell over on the way back from school and badly cut her top lip.
I was really cool and just said "let me look at it" and I just got a tissue out and mopped it up.
Did not help when some other mums came around and started fussing and one was holding her mouth as if in horror!
My poor DD1 was wondering if everything was actually worse than I made her believe.
It's the same if you yourself get hurt.
You need someone professional (hopefully) that will tell you to stay calm and talks to you, and not people running around screaming and crying at you...that would make you feel better?

I mean DD2...d*mn hangover

pmsl @ edgarallen and her DH's finger