to expect men with 'significant others' not to use the services of a prostitute?

[FourArms]

Have just returned from a trip to visit my DH who was on a R&R period as part of his job. These men have been seperated from their OH's for a month or so. On the first evening quite a number of them used the services of prostitutes.

Quite apart from the rights and wrongs of people working in the sex industry, AIBU to think that men shouldn't need to do this? Some of them do have wives and girlfriends at home. I am also a bit about the general acceptance of this by the other blokes, and the fact that this is all kept secret from the partners at home. Luckily for the blokes involved, I don't know any of their partners, if I did, I'm not sure I could keep my mouth shut about it. I would want to know if my DH was doing this.

We were pretty much in the middle of nowhere, so they couldn't have bought any easily. But.. they were offered them before they went on R&R, so no excuse really.

I think prostitution saves lots of marriages and damages a lot of prostitutes

1 in 4 babies are not the natural child of the supposed father/husband, so women arn't so pure white or more''naturally'' moral as someone suggested - they just use sex in a different way to men

so sorky, tell me to mind my own business if you like

but does your partner satisfy certain lusts with other partners/working girls/insert vice of your choice ??

and if he doesn't, can you truthfully say it would be hunky-dory if he did

perhaps you do yourself? hmm, hadn't considered that

on 2nd thoughts, you do sound very clear that anything should be indulged, so perhaps 'tis you who goes off every week to get flogged within an inch of your life/dress up as a baby ??

blessings, I don't actually believe that statistic you quoted there. Can you back it up ? There is no way that 1 in 4 relationships have been cuckolded by an errant woman (not in my world, anyway)

no Anyfucker, happily I meet his needs and he meets mine.

We did discuss this issue though and although neither of us would wish to go outside of the relationship to seek professional assistance, we both agreed it would be unfair if the other person was unwilling to meet a specific need and that need needed to be met.

It's not blackmail in my eyes. It's about being honest with the other person, accepting them for who they are.

Just wondering where these sex parties that are meant to happen all the time are? DH is in the army and has served with different regs including both Marines and Paras and I can honestly say I have never ever heard of one actually happening, I reckon they are an urban myth.
I know of blokes in the Army who have slept with prostitutes but then I also know of blokes who aren't in the Forces who have slept with them. The blokes who do this would be doing it whatever job they had.

One man I know rationaises visiting prostitutes as being the same as taking a woman out to dinner, paying for her dinner and drinks and the havng a one night stand. He reasosn that it is just a lot more honest to pay the woman. I think he is despicable.

I worked in the oil industry and in that world it is rife. I once spent an evening with a prostitute. We just talked and at the time I didn't even know she was a prostitute but apparently she had been procurred by our host for me. I was very young and naieve.

We chatted about politics, economics and cooking. She had a degree spoke several languages and was a very interesting person. I assume she got paid a lot by our host and I was told by my boss afterwards she was a prostitute. I was incredibly shocked but our host thought it was just good manners to a guest in his culture.

I still cannnot get my head round the idea of using a prostitute though.

As a Forces wife, daughter and DIL, I have also never heard of these sex parties in RL, although have heard of plenty of rumours and affairs.

I then would have let rip on all the men after disposing of the women - I didn't finish my message because I had to go to work I'm afraid.

Sorky, words FAIL me!
A good and fulfilling sex life is about compromise, why would you want the person you love to do something for you that they absolutely feel that they can't do?
I wouldn't fuck my husband with a strap on if he asked ( not that he would ever want that thank goodness) that doesn't mean he has the right to go out and pay someone to do it!! I would come to some kind of compromise though.

I also meant to say that no sexual "deviance" is so necessary that it's worth ruining your family for.

If you want to be whipped until you bleed / dress like a giant baby or something equally extreme then you obviously have deep psychological issues and you need some kind of psychiatric help, not the services of a specialist sex worker!

Sorky,

wanting to be whipped raw/ be shit on/ dress as a baby/ have your balls nailed to a piece of wood/ be encased in vacuum packed latex - NONE of these things are HEALTHY DESIRES!!!!!

Sick, twisted, psychologically disturbed, yes, healthy, NO WAY.

oh, I don't know Mal, being a baby has all sorts of advantages....

and I can think of some people I would love to try a bit of DIY on their bollocks

just not my DH

Sorky, we will have to agree to disagree

but I would love to be a fly on the wall when your dh attempts to take advantage of your free-and-easy attitude to what constitutes a monogamous relationship

"1 in 4 babies are not the natural child of the supposed father/husband"

Sorry - bogus stat alert! I know this is all I'm really good for while I let the rest of you thrash it out