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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in asking our upstairs neighbour to move their pram?

344 replies

KG100 · 27/09/2009 16:19

Our upstairs neighbours share a communal hall way with us and have been using it to store their pram since their son was born. We were quite sympathetic for the first six months or so. After that we politely mentioned it was a problem for us as it was blocking the hallway but they said they had nowhere else to store it.

We let it rest but for the last few months it's been getting slightly wearing as he is now 20 months old and there is no sign of them moving on to a fold up model. We raised it couple of times over the summer, basically asking how much longer they would need it and they were non-committal.

So we asked them if they would mind us storing our bikes there occasionally. They said they wouldn't object and so on Thursday night my husband moved the bikes up in anticipation of going for a bike ride or two over the weekend.

We made sure they could still get their pram in and out but they still went completely berserk. She knocked on the door to ask me to move them and lost it when I said "no - we had agreed this up front". Her husband has also got quite angry and stated that they should have extra rights over the hallway than us.

I can't believe the way they are acting (stomping round upstairs, shouting at me and my husband when we've seen them, even though the bikes are now back in our flat) but not having children I can't judge whether it is really is an ordeal to either get a fold up pram, as we have asked, or alternatively build a shed and store their pram in the front yard. I'm sure all my nephew and nieces (six of them) were using fold up buggies by this age but they insist that they are not suitable for a 20 month old. Am I being really unreasonable? When should they be able to move on to a fold up model? And what does everyone else do when their kids get to this kind of age?

OP posts:
WhereYouLeftIt · 28/09/2009 02:30

Presumably only the current range of prams is on the website though - not every pram that Brio has ever made will have folded. The pram in question must be at least 2 years old, and if it was acquired 2nd hand by the neighbours it could be a lot older than that - the neighbours could well be telling the truth that it does not fold.

nappyaddict · 28/09/2009 02:44

When you put the bikes in there could you put them on the same side of the wheel as the pram so they weren't really taking up any more space or was your only option to put them on the other side opposite the pram creating a sort of tunnel that you had to walk through (which i can imagine would be quite difficult)

sandcastles · 28/09/2009 02:55

Happy, folded

Go, folded

Sing, folded

Even if it is this one, it still folds

OrmIrian · 28/09/2009 08:26
  1. They should fold it up if they are going to leave it there. If it doesn't fold up they are utter twats for buying it in the circs. I wouldn't buy a massive great 4x4 if I only had a teeny weeny parking space.
  1. They have no automatic rights to use the hallway. You have been more than reasonable so far.
  1. You have just as much right to leave anything in the hall as they do - bikes, elephants or stepladders. If they can so can you.
  1. They had no right to shout at you. Very rude. If they expect to keep the pram there, they should discuss it with you politely and be grateful.

5 Babies do not confer special rights. She produced a normal child not the Messiah

Original poster
KG100 · 28/09/2009 09:04

nappyaddict, bikes were on the same side as the pram, my husband made sure that she could get by and get the pram in and out without moving the bikes. We know it was tight but we wouldn't have put them there if they reduced the access so much that the pram couldn't be taken out when she wanted to.

OP posts:
Original poster
KG100 · 28/09/2009 09:06

sandcastles, had a look last night and it looks like the Happy which from the website does fold but I can't figure out how. Telling them it folds but not being able to prove it would seem a little bit too much like accusing them of lying without having the evidence.

OP posts:
NeedCoffee · 28/09/2009 09:12

KG-going by the pic of the 'Happy' I'd say you have to pull the clips up towards you either side of the frame, kind of if you're stood as though you're going to push it and slide your hands down the frame iyswim-if its the same as the one that I had that was similar, it can be done with the carrycot on too.

TheHeathenOfSuburbia · 28/09/2009 10:22

Your neighbours are clearly Being Unreasonable

BUT

Do you really want to start formal proceedings that you will have to disclose if you ever want to sell your flat?

Tangle · 28/09/2009 10:28

Sounds to me like you've been very reasonable to date! If you have a baby and live in a flat you don't buy a great big pram that you can't get up the stairs and so gets in everyone's way...

At this point I'd consider what you're main goal is. Whilst its tempting to work out how to fold the wretched thing and leave it for her to figure out (assuming it does turn out to fold), is that tacitly giving tacit permission for them to keep it in the hall in a folded state? Given the last 20 months, are you now happy with that solution? Does it set a precedent for the childs ride-ons, scooters and bikes all taking up residence over the coming years (along with the pram, should they have a 2nd?)

If it were me I'd be tempted to look into how to make them see that keeping anything in such a small hall is a bad idea (fire regs seems the most obvious if you don't want to push terms of the leasehold - if you got the firebrigrade round for advice, would they knock on the door and tell them face to face that its a fire hazard? could be worth finding out) and accept that the rules also apply to me, as you seem to do. Its difficult to see how you're going to come out of these with a clear hall and an amicable relationship at the moment, so I'd consider which one is more important to you.

Good luck - and do let us know how it goes

nappyaddict · 28/09/2009 10:35

The thing is why hasn't it been a problem to you for the last 20 months, and now suddenly it is?

The way they behaved about the bikes is totally unreasonable by the way and if i were you i would just leave them there anyway. If they can put there pram there, then you can put your bikes there as long as there is still plenty of room for access which you say there is.

sandcastles · 28/09/2009 10:40

KG, I do see where you are coming from re not being able to prove it etc. They either are utter twunts for not knowing it folds, or they are lying about it.

KG, I think I'd be inclined to go out there & fold it myself!

CarGirl · 28/09/2009 10:42

wait until they're out/in bed for the night, go out and fold it. May force them to speak to you again about it if nothing else!

They are being unreasonble and they know it hence the attitude I think.

CarGirl · 28/09/2009 10:43

Just remembered in my first home (flat) we used to have to keep the pushchair folded in front of the door on the inside as it was the only space to keep it - had downstairs tiny kitchen & bathroom everything else upstairs.

Bathsheba · 28/09/2009 10:46

Folding it up for them is a great idea but it will only work if you'll accept them leaving it there but folded as a compromise.

If you want it away then folding it up will serve no purpose.

I simply cannot believe it doesn't fold. It may be they bought it 2nd hand or something and don;t know how to fold it, but it simply must as a modern pram, fold somewhat.

I have the world's biggest pram but it folds....not to very small, but to smaller...

toddlerama · 28/09/2009 11:14

Just hide it. Let them assume it was stolen.

gingernutlover · 28/09/2009 11:22

just done a google for brio pram

and everything that came up seemed to be saying they fold for convenience

is it like this one?

maybe print it and post it throught their door with a helpful note "great news, look you prma does fold after all, let me know next time you need a hand taking it upstairs!"

gingernutlover · 28/09/2009 11:23

also like the idea of hiding it or since it is a permament fixture maybe you should use it as an umbrella stand on a rainy day!

scottishmummy · 28/09/2009 12:57

kg not your responsibility to tell them how to fold their own pram

the onus is upon them to fold and store appropriately.they are taking the piss saying it doesnt fold.it is evasive and avoidant

OrmIrian · 28/09/2009 14:01

You can get a free fire safety check of your home by the fire brigade. I am sure they'd be interested in the pram blocking the hall.

MrsGokWantstogocampingagain · 28/09/2009 14:03

I do think getting a fire prevention officer out to check your flat out for being safe is a good idea. Then you can ask about the push chair and if it is a fire hazzard. If you ask nicely the officer may write a letter for you.

Stigaloid · 28/09/2009 14:14

I agree with the fire prevention method. Seems like a good way to get an outside party involved that makes logical sense. Your neighbours are being very unreasonable storing their pram in a communal hallway especially as you have asked on numerous occasions when they may be mving it and it is on your floor level and not theirs. Unless you store something outside their front door and see how much they like it.

WhereYouLeftIt · 28/09/2009 15:36

Folding the pram doesn't oblige you to put up with it in the communal hall, it just makes it easier for them to take it up the stairs.

MichKit · 28/09/2009 15:41

Fire safety officers are the way to go. We had a similar problem with upstairs people blocking the communal hallway with bikes (with barely any space to get through at all), so went to council who suggested we make an appointment with the fire safety officers, who told off the upstairs boys. Never had a problem since.

Fire officers take this sort of blocking of communal areas extremely seriously.

Obviously if you go down this route you won't be able to leave your bikes there either, but from your post it sounds like you don't usually do it anyway.

pigletmania · 28/09/2009 16:26

YANBU my dd was in an umbrella buggy at 4 months old (it is a birth+ one). Why the hell did they buy a big pram if they had nowehre to store it, idiots! Why on earth is a 20moth in a pram anyway . When they bought the pram i think they left their senses at home.

NigellaTufnel · 28/09/2009 17:18

Can you put some brackets on the wall and hang your bikes up high so everyone can store stuff in the hall?

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