to feel a bit sad after my scan today.

[sally78]

We have a lovely DS but he is very hard work.

This pregnancy has been so so so different and DH had his heart set on a girl........we are having another boy.

We are so lucky to be having a healthy baby and I am sure DH will get over it. The thing is everyone keeps saying "oh I bet you would love a girl, oh it must be you have been so ill, your so much rounder this time" etc etc etc.

I do feel a bit sad, I keep thinking about ballet classes and doing hair for school etc and a little like I'm missing out

Its terrible to feel like this I know I am BU.

a support forum yes.

maybe you could re-read your posts jude, and point out where you feel you were being supportive?

oh no, that's right you weren't you were being erather nasty about your stepsons right? cos that helps the op

sounds like someone is rather bitter to me

Ah jude, making friends and influencing people on another thread I see

I really don't understand what you are trying to say to me Jude?

I resent the implication by certain knobbers here that my step-sons would be better off with their mother by people who don't have a clue about our relationship.
Being secretly bored by a child's conversations is NOT the biggest crime!
So you all listen with rapt fascination and attention at everything your kids say?
Give me a fucking break!

Sally, do you want to be told you're being unreasonable for wanting a girl or do you want to be told it's ok to mourn what you won't have? Make your mind up and I'll tell you what you want to hear.

what, the relationship whereby you find them incredily irritating, boring think they stink and refuse to go in their rooms?

yeh, bet they think you're great too

Yes I do listen to everything DS1 says to me because it is polite.

You are horrible and spiteful. You have not been helpful or supportive in anyway. Your poor step sons.

JUde. if you were a bit upset about your scan. and were finding it harrd to come to termms with having a boy do you think it would be helpful to hear someone gloating about how fab their girls are, how wonderful it is mothering them and how awful all little boys they know are?

My step-sons flourish. They are happy, well-adjusted kids who love staying with both of us. They are doing well at school and have plenty of friends. I fail to see how they could be treated any better.
I take it you are a step-mother yourself? And you understand the dynamics and complications?
My relationship will always be different with them to that of my daughters but this would be the same whatever their sex was.

I have said further up the page that sally will love her son to bits when he arrives and that I would have also loved sons as much as my girls. What I was trying to explain was that yes, it is actually ok to have a preference.

Herbieta, I treat my step-sons just fine! They love me and ask to stay on their own with me and the girls during the school holidays rather than go to their nans.
You are talking out of your arse. I will never be interested in action movies and pc games..that's just me. God I'm a total bitch. Call Social Services pronto.
Stop talking like a twat.

Sally, yanbu for having these feelings, especially when you are clearly trying so hard to overcome them.
Good luck

Of course it is ok to mourn what you don't have, jude. The op is trying to resolve these issues, which is why it's unhelpful to reply to her posts with 'actually, you're right, boys are shit'.

Jude, I posted to firstly gain some understanding that maybe my feelings about not being pregnant with a girl, did not mean I was a bad person and mummy.

Secondly I wanted to hear all the other posters wonderful stories about their boys to bring me back to the reality.

Thirdly I posted to see how other posters who may have once felt like me, mananged comments from other people (family, friends, strangers) which I do hear everyday!

I wanted to hear about mums of older boys and how their relationships were, what they did, how involved they were with their grand children etc

I have found everyones comments (except yours) to be really really lovely to read. I have realised I over reacted and I am so greatful to have been able to talk about how I have been feeling to people who have listened and thought about how they could help.

I would love to have a third child, boy or girl and if that child were a girl than wonderful great, however I have really taken on board what posters have said about stereotypes and have decided that as I love all things girly, I should have more fun being girly.....not have a daughter who I can live my dreams through! I am off to dust my fairy wings!

No, I'm not. I'm stating that I'm not in to the stuff my step-sons are in to. Despite this they are loved by both of us and adored by their sisters.

There you go then Sally. Nowt to worry about eh?

i found out with first born as i was one of two girls and my sister already had two girls.Everyone said (as I look like my grandma who had 4 boys) you will have a boy.I felt pressured to produce one. I found out i was having a girl and everyone got used to the idea, i was happy either way. The second time I thought that I would leave it and have a suprise,i was not bothered either way as I loved my dd.Sadly I had a stillborn dd at 26 weeks.

The third time i wanted to know as much as possible for obvious reasons and found out i was having a boy.It was a mixture of excitement as it was something 'new' to us and sadness as I longed (still do) for another little girl.I think its something that will never leave me.

Now I have one of each,healthy and lovely lovely lovely I thank my lucky stars that I am so blessed.

There are so many sad stories out there.Count your blessings!