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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Think that when you go and stay with someone...

68 replies

Ilikethembutnotwhattheydid · 21/09/2009 21:05

DP,ds1,ds2 and I went to stay with some friends of mine.

during in the 6 days we were there....
They never cooked
stayed in bed way past the time their children did
paid only for 1 meal because they had no money
but had booze daily
left their 2 youngest dc in the same nappy for far too long...
didn't seem too bothered about the dc eating.
did not offer to pay for food
and then...
someone stole money out of dps wallet

aibu to think these are bog standard things you do as a parent?? well with exception of the stealing?

OP posts:
SerendipitousHarlot · 21/09/2009 21:08

Right, hold on....

When you say never cooked - did they provide takeaways, or what?

When you say left the dc in nappies for too long, how long do you mean?

And the wallet thing? wtf? Can you explain a bit further please?

I need the full details in order to make my diagnosis

saadia · 21/09/2009 21:08

sounds grim - did they invite you?

curiositykilled · 21/09/2009 21:10

It's hard to tell as they are all really just things you have made judgements about. I wasn't there to judge for myself.

famishedass · 21/09/2009 21:11

Who fed their children?

Original poster
Ilikethembutnotwhattheydid · 21/09/2009 21:14

ok,
we bought the take aways
from early morning when I changed them (i was up with the dc while parents still in bed), until mid afternoon.

ok dp left his wallet on the table while he went and got dressed, phone and keys there too. when we went out to car to come home and were on the way I opened wallet to go in shop and found we were £20 down.

They did invite us and so we went.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ilikethembutnotwhattheydid · 21/09/2009 21:15

Famish we bought take aways and 3 nights i bought food and cooked.

OP posts:
MagNacarta · 21/09/2009 21:17

Assume from your name change that you like them - why?

rookiemater · 21/09/2009 21:17

Well it doesn't seem ideal, did the Dcs appear generally healthy and happy ?

I wouldn't be rushing back to visit again tbh.

ZZZenAgain · 21/09/2009 21:19

wouldn't be surprised if they invite you again soon.

alwayslookingforanswers · 21/09/2009 21:20

how old were the children left in nappies, and were they dirty - or just wet?? (more crucial details required before I judge)

famishedass · 21/09/2009 21:21

if you cooked and had takeaways at night, what did the children have to eat during the day?

DuelingFanjo · 21/09/2009 21:23

perhaps they thought you were happy to help and left you to it?

Original poster
Ilikethembutnotwhattheydid · 21/09/2009 21:27

Mag, I got on with them as people iyswim?

Rookie, I can't go into much detail as i don't want to give away who they/I am etc. But they are looking for problems within each child if that makes sense??? they are trying to find something wrong with 2 of them.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ilikethembutnotwhattheydid · 21/09/2009 21:30

the children were 3 1/2 and 2 1/2.
I did the children breakfast and we bought lunch for them when we were out.

Duel, they didn't even get up when the dc were shouting/crying etc.

They have asked us to come back again..

OP posts:
rookiemater · 21/09/2009 21:31

I guess it was more from the perspective that if they neglected general hygiene and feeding whilst you were there, the DCs might be thin and pale and the one in nappies would have nappy rash if that is a regular occurence.

If physically they are ok, then perhaps they are just lazy and happy enough to look after their children if someone else isn't around to do it for them. TBH I would find it hard to be friends with people who couldn't do right by their children on the very basic elements of parenting i.e. feeding some sort of meals at breakfast,lunch and dinner and nappy changing.

Original poster
Ilikethembutnotwhattheydid · 21/09/2009 21:31

I also had my 2 dc to look after, so 5 of them.

OP posts:
alwayslookingforanswers · 21/09/2009 21:33

were the nappies dirty??

As my DS3 frequently gets left from morning until mid afternoon usually about 3.05 when it's time to get him ready to go and do the school run and I realise it's falling down between changes.

Unless he poos in which case he might get lucky and get one half way through

GirlsAreLOud · 21/09/2009 21:34

My DD wears a nappy for 13 hours and doesn't get nappy rash.

alwayslookingforanswers · 21/09/2009 21:34

no that doesn't read right my last sentence. I mean that if he poos he gets changed between those times (straight away) , otherwise he's usually in the same nappy until then

Original poster
Ilikethembutnotwhattheydid · 21/09/2009 21:35

Always, some where dirty some weren't. but even when they were dirty unless the parents were reminded/told the dc were left.

maybe I am just fussy as ds2 is really sensitive and I change him too often.

OP posts:
fandango75 · 21/09/2009 21:43

yanbu AT ALL crikey find that very odd and selfish & totally unacceptable - don't feed their kids or get out bed when they cry? WTF

alwayslookingforanswers · 21/09/2009 21:46

where did the OP say they didn't get out of bed when the DC cry?

Original poster
Ilikethembutnotwhattheydid · 21/09/2009 21:49

Fandango, I am sure they do feed them when they are alone but they never attempted to make a dinner while we were there. As for the mornings well I was shattered as well but I could not sit and ignore 2 toddlers shouting. I did mention it and they said "oh we normally get up almost straight away"

TBH there were 2 older dc my ds1 who is 10 and their older one who is 6 so i only had the 3 little ones to deal with, their 2 toddlers and my toddler. so 1 3 1/2 yr old, 1 2 1/2 yr old and my 2 yr old.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ilikethembutnotwhattheydid · 21/09/2009 21:50

Always, i did I said
They stayed in bed well past the time their dc did. and I mean hours past not minutes.

OP posts:
fandango75 · 21/09/2009 21:51

well if they are only like that with visitors they are taking the p**s its just not on imo they took advantage of you

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