Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Think that when you go and stay with someone...

68 replies

Ilikethembutnotwhattheydid · 21/09/2009 21:05

DP,ds1,ds2 and I went to stay with some friends of mine.

during in the 6 days we were there....
They never cooked
stayed in bed way past the time their children did
paid only for 1 meal because they had no money
but had booze daily
left their 2 youngest dc in the same nappy for far too long...
didn't seem too bothered about the dc eating.
did not offer to pay for food
and then...
someone stole money out of dps wallet

aibu to think these are bog standard things you do as a parent?? well with exception of the stealing?

OP posts:
alwayslookingforanswers · 21/09/2009 21:54

no that still doesn't say they were crying.

Original poster
Ilikethembutnotwhattheydid · 21/09/2009 21:56

Always, sorry this is the posting i meant to quote

By Ilikethembutnotwhattheydid on Mon 21-Sep-09 21:30:51
the children were 3 1/2 and 2 1/2.
I did the children breakfast and we bought lunch for them when we were out.

Duel, they didn't even get up when the dc were shouting/crying etc.

OP posts:
CornishKK · 21/09/2009 21:56

YANBU in ANY way. Don't visit again and don't invite them to stay.

rookiemater · 21/09/2009 21:57

What time did their toddlers get up and what time did they get up ?

Was it maybe that they really let their hair down because they had visitors, drunk much more than they do normally and as a result were unable to function whilst you were there...clutching at straws really...

They must be fairly wonderful people for you to like them after that , are you going to visit again ? Actually don't bother come and visit us instead, we only have one 3.5 year old who is no bother and I will even pay for your cooking ingrediants.

Sits tight...waits for Ilikethem to come and mother me...

Original poster
Ilikethembutnotwhattheydid · 21/09/2009 21:57

its just a shame i feel this way because as people we got on really well, we just have very very different ideas as parents.

OP posts:
Hulababy · 21/09/2009 21:59

a;wayslookingforanswers:

By Ilikethembutnotwhattheydid on Mon 21-Sep-09 21:30:51

....Duel, they didn't even get up when the dc were shouting/crying etc. ....

alwayslookingforanswers · 21/09/2009 22:01

sorry - I'll bugger off, can't even read the posts properly now you did say that.

Original poster
Ilikethembutnotwhattheydid · 21/09/2009 22:02

LMAO Rookie

the dc were up by 6.30 and they got up at 8.30-9.30.
Maybe they did just let their hair down, but so did i, i was just still up as soon as I heard the dc.

Rookie ok i will come and mother you lol.

OP posts:
groundhogs · 21/09/2009 22:02

Jeez, Awful, awful stay for you, but LOL at them wanting you to go back and visit them...

Of course they want you back! You were an excellent HOST!!! Letting them have a long lie in, feeding them, babysitting AND pocket money to boot!

I so would not have anything more to do with them, for the £20 if nothing else FGS, friends don't help themselves to your wallet. Honestly they don't!!

Ditch em, if they ask, the £20 is enough all on it's own.

Original poster
Ilikethembutnotwhattheydid · 21/09/2009 22:03

Always no you are alright! we all misread on here sometimes.

OP posts:
hf128219 · 21/09/2009 22:03

They were really taking the piss out of you - just plain rude of them. I have friends like that too! They come to stay and expect me to cook/tidy up after them - and entertain their dc's.

AuraofDora · 21/09/2009 22:07

what do you like about them? no, really..
just interested..you like them as people, as people they lay in bed til early afternoon and pretty much ignored their invited guests..that's not a parental difference imho

Original poster
Ilikethembutnotwhattheydid · 21/09/2009 22:08

Aura, we had some good laughs and did get on really well. I really only had a problem with them laying in bed over 2 hours after their dc got up and not paying for food/cooking.

OP posts:
oneopinionatedmother · 21/09/2009 22:11

that depends..i'll defend any parents right not to get up when their kids are making noise before 8am. in the days before Ds we used to get away with later...>sigh<

nappy changes...i have no idea how often a kid that old needs changing. but most people don't get up in the middle of the night to do night changes. I'd be quietly judgey about them not being PT, but that's just me.

didn't you mention the missing £20 - if on eof their kids is nicking they should be made aware?

it may also be that as they had guests they weren't bothering with mealtime ishoos - when we last went to stay at MIls meals went atrociously badly and i just gave in until we got home - no other way.

Original poster
Ilikethembutnotwhattheydid · 21/09/2009 22:12

Ground thats the thing that got to the most i have to say. DP was more gutted especially as he funded the whole trip.

as for being an excellent host, I just acted the way I always do. I cannot ignore a crying/shouting toddler for any reason...well unless it is a tantrum. And on the food front, well we had to eat and could not not feed the dc so we were left with little choice.

OP posts:
moondog · 21/09/2009 22:13

I can't fathom staying with anyone for 6 days.
What did you do when you were there then?|

Original poster
Ilikethembutnotwhattheydid · 21/09/2009 22:14

One, the sad thing is the only person in the vicinity of the wallet was the other womans dp....

OP posts:
moondog · 21/09/2009 22:15

And they let a 2 year old and a 3 year old roam around unsupervised?? Were they hungover?

Original poster
Ilikethembutnotwhattheydid · 21/09/2009 22:16

Moon we took them on days out. They are people I have known for years and have moved out of the area I live and so we went to visit. Well I have known her for years. since we were at college. before dc and dp's.

We took them to farms, the coast, parks etc....things they made a point of telling us they didn't normally do. A day out to them (apparently) is mooching around the shops

OP posts:
Original poster
Ilikethembutnotwhattheydid · 21/09/2009 22:17

Moon they were in their room asleep and the 3 n 2 yr old in their room shaking the gate screaming out now out now bottle now. I really could not ignore them.

OP posts:
moondog · 21/09/2009 22:19

They sound dreadful.They really didn't offer to cook a meal once?

Takeaways are soooo sordid.

rookiemater · 21/09/2009 22:20

Dear lord, so its not the DCs that took the money, I assumed it was a light fingered toddler or a child and as such one to chalk up to experience. But seriously it was the father that took the money, did you mention it whilst there, was it definitely taken, could your Dh be mistaken ?

Original poster
Ilikethembutnotwhattheydid · 21/09/2009 22:21

Moon, no they never offered to cook at all. Thats why on 3 night i insisted i wanted to cook because I hate take aways and don't eat many of them.

OP posts:
oneopinionatedmother · 21/09/2009 22:22

ah well...i'd consider mentioning it in passing to her then....but unfortunately i think that does mean no more visits at all.

also if their kids were getting themselves up and wandering around (ie, you were expected to act as impromptu kiddy herder) that is unfair on you.

Original poster
Ilikethembutnotwhattheydid · 21/09/2009 22:22

Rookie, I had put the money in his wallet just 20 minutes before. after he got dressed etc we got in the car to go home. and thats when we noticed the money i had put in there was gone.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread