to make dh iron his own shirts even though I'm a SAHM?

[emkana]

He's currently ironing in the kitchen and muttering to himself and wants the MN consensus on this.

My house is tidy and we all look fairly well turned out most of the time, but the key is in trying to achieve this with the minimum amount of time and effort IMO. I don't feel that my sense of self-worth will rise with the amount of housework I do. My main aim is to spend the day in a way that makes me feel I have done the M part of SAHM well.

And I'm very glad to say that dh doesn't really think that him earning the money makes me the only one responsible for all the housework, even though he was pretending to be complaining last night.

I don't know how people manage to never iron anything, even with the best airer in the world clothes can stil look rumpled without being ironed.

I iron all clothes (obviously not sheets, towels, underwear, I'm not mad!) as I would feel scruffy if I didn't. I work FT, so does DP, and the rule is everyone does their own ironing. DD irons all her stuff at the weekend - she likes the job and gets all her week's ironing done at once. She takes the ironing board into her bedroom abd puts on the music full blast.

For the rest of the week the ironing stuff lives in the dressing room ready to go. I rion on the run - just iron the clothes Ineed when I need them. I have never seen the point of spending 2 hours ironing everything in one fell swoop. DP does his own ironing as and when he needs it.

YANBU. DH doesn't 'expect' me to do anything. He is a bit odd though as he doesn't mind ironing his shirts. The ironing board only tends to come out after the kids have gone to bed so if shirts need ironing and I've got no other chores, I'll do them. If he's got no other chores/things to do, he'll iron them. Same as if the bin needs emptying, the washing up needs doing, the dishwasher needs emptying etc It's a team Chez Sasstbeast. I cook and clean cos I'm good at that but I could quite reasonable work a 14 hour day as a SAHM (with 2 pre sechoolers) DH works OTH 8 or 9 hours a day so he's perfectly capable of lifting a finger

Scottishmummy I was listing, not complaining. You cannot dismiss sahp as lazy unless you are familiar with the division of work in their particular arrangement.

And moondog, you are welcome to come and run your white gloved finger round my surfaces anytime. Most sahms I know have immaculate houses.
Nearly every wife I know complains about some aspect of their dh's behaviour at some point in a marriage.
Or do you think being a sahm means you must smile sweetly and accept whatever your husband says as law?

We pay my mum to give her a little extra cash to do our ironing.

Other than that I do all the other housework and cooking unless DP gets home earlier than I do from lectures and gets DD from school and gets dinner on.

All my housework is done this morning , and we have been invited for dinner over to my parents house so don't have to cook tonight either

Im a SAHM, well I work from home a bit so maybe im a SAHWM, who knows.

I iron my hubbys shirts, I take pride when he goes to work all smart.

He works ridiculously long hours though.

If one partner works full time to bring income into the house whilst the other stays home, its fair enough that the person at home would do the bulk of the housework inc ironing.

I'm not a SAHM as work part time but I still the majority of the housework as I work less days than DH so see it as only fair.

I confess as well as being a mum I really enjoy being a wife and taking care of the domestic side. Before kids I worked ridiculously long hours and me and DH just mucked in, he really feels the benifit now.

I love being a housewife

I do too, MrsSaxon

I iron everything that needs it in our house. Also do all housework except for washing-up after dinner and taking out the bins.

But I would like to know, if you'll excuse the slight hijack, who in all of your homes takes care of DIY, house and garden maintenance etc? Currently I do all of it (chopping down trees, garage tidying, decorating etc). DH works not-too-long hours mostly, occasionally some evening work at home, brings in a good wage, but does no household/garden maintenance at all. What do you reckon? Should he do more around the house?

How is it that some people on this thread get to decide what is the remit of a SAHM. Surely it's between the two people involved in the partnership.

I'm a SAHM and I've had other people talking about what I should be doing in terms of housework. This stemmed from me not doing DH ironing.

What right is it of anyone to tell us how to live our lives. I'll do what I feel is right not what someone else tells me is right.

I am like you MrsSaxon. To me SAHM/Wife is the job I chose. It does not pay in terms of money but I can tell you DH never (so far) took me for granted. Actually every time he opens a full wardobe of ironed clothes he always thanks me for having done it. Always appreciate the food he has got on the table and never ever comes home saying "Oh, not hooverd the house yet?", even if I have indeed not done it. I have never felt like my DH "ironing lady" or like his mother.

I do mine and our 4 dcs ironing I really would feel silly to ask him to iron his own shirts after a full day woking so I can have the luxury to stay home and watch my Dcs grow up.

My dh does the garden stuff, he does help around the house as needed. For instance he left for work at four this morning but he still unloaded the dishwasher before he left.

Maybe PlumpRumpSoggyBaps you are doing a leetle to much.

I dont get that attitude. I am sorry.

I believe a husband and wife should be a team, and it is not necessarily about "Female" and "Male" chores, but about who has the time and the skill to do it. Work and leisure should be equally divided, and this means if you have TIME in the day to do some ironing, you do it.

The other question is, who is doing all the "male" jobs in the house? Who does the diy? Who hangs up shelving, who cleans the car, sorts out oil, tyre pressure, the MOT and insurances, etc? These jobs, as well as the ironing should be equally divided.

Emkana, as a sahm, are you also responsible for the family car? If not, why?

DH irons his own shirts, not because it is his shirt, but because it is for him part of "the ritual" of getting himself presentable for work.

I use the power drill, I hang up shelves, I sew buttons in dhs shirts and trousers if they have fallen out because I know how to do it.

I am a SAHM but my DC are in school all day.

Tbh, if I were working all day and DH were at home then I would be pretty pissed off to come home and have to do the ironing myself.

Nothing to do with repression or suffragettes chaining themselves to the railings (though I did laugh at that comment).

Quite simply, DH works long hours and has not got much free time. I don't want to waste the little time that we have together watching him iron. I would rather use that time to spend with him and the DC.

I am quite surprised how many SAHM don't iron actually.

To PRSB, Dh does the gardening and takes the bins out. We share the DIY in the house as I actually enjoy painting or changing fuses.

Dutchmanswife, you are right , it is up to the couple to define how they want things to be reparted. I think the problem start when you read threads like this one and go "XYZ on MN's DH does his own shirts! Here is the iron!" to your DH when he comes back from work.

I always thought the Sufragettes faught for women right to vote! I had no clue that ironing arrangement were involved as well!

I dont perceive any chores as male or female, just that my DH is out of the house so I do what needs doing.

When I worked longer hours than he did, he used to do the ironing.

They are just jobs that I do as I have the time to.

I did the lown this morning because it will probably rain and DH won't be able to do it even he he wants to. I suppose, thinking a bit more closely about it, that things get done by whoever has more opportunity doing it and yes, because I am at home all day, domestic tasks do tend to "fall" on me. As I said earlier, it is a small price to pay IMHO to get to spend all my time with the DCs.

We joke about "blue jobs" and "pink jobs" in our house.

Removing spiders from the ceiling is certainly a blue job.

Ironing can be blue or pink

Putting bins out is a blue job but often turns into a pink job when DH forgets.

I am a SAHM and DH does most of the ironing, but then I have have four dcs and a lot of cleaning to do.

DP, DD and I divvy up the chores according to what we do best:

Me: all shopping, most of the cooking, most of the cleaning, look after the cars including minor car maintenance (changing batteries, fan belts, tyres, topping up oil etc)

DD: some cooking, responsible for cleaning bathroom, and own bedroom, takes turns doing dishes.

DP: all gardening and DIY - I never touch outside work. Cleans windows inside and out. Mops floors. Hoovers (I refuse to hoover). Cleans kitchen (DP a lot better than I am at real thorough cleaning, I do the general quick clean and tidy). Some other housework as and when.

Shared - admin. We divide up our bills and pay them seperately, and administer them ourselves.

We both work long hours. I would think that if eitehr of us worked less hours or was at home with younger children, they would start taking over more chores at home.

Spiders are definitely a "not me" job here but if the DCs are present it is them who do it! It is better than being sent up a chimeney!

I recommend offering to iron the shirts and then doing them rather badly. My lack of ability with an iron was established very early on in our relationship so I take them to Morrisons to be washed and ironed. However if I do occasionally do them I do feel a certain pride but it just takes too long. I really am crap at it.

Also, DP does all sewing (I can't sew to save my life). DP has a floral (!) sewing box which he has had for years, he does hems and buttonholes beautifully.

He also puts the bins out, but mostly forgets actually so in reality I do it more than him

He is responsible for all DIY, however as he is a builder there are a lot of half-finished jobs around the house (typical).