to be seething and planning to complain to ds2's teacher tomorrow?

[Greensleeves]

ds2 (aged 5 and just started Y1) has come home today with a library book - the children are taken to the library to choose a book once a week

he has come home with a huge hardbacked tome entitled "The Readers Digest Illustrated History of World War II"

I have flicked through it and it is full of photos of tanks, machine guns, people standing outside their bombed-out houses etc

I am FURIOUS

ds1 had this teacher last year and she is excellent, I think very highly of her and am VERY surprised to find that she has allowed this to happen

I really don't want to antagonise her (not only have I liked and respected her for more than a year, she's a bit scary) but I really feel I have to say something!

I have taken the book away from ds2 and told him that is isn't suitable for a 5yo - he is now crying in the living room

AIBU to be really fucked off?

YANBU. That could have been really traumatic if he'd happened on the wrong page.

YABU - he chose the book for the picture and maybe he liked the size/shape/colour of it - he will look at the pictures - he will probably ask you abou them at a completely inappropriate time when it pops into his head - will not require a detailed explanation and he will not be able to read the words yet and will not associate the emaciated people with the holocasust becuase he does not ( I hope) know about that yet.

I would rather my dd see that than some of the sex ed rubbish that gets churned out by government quangos.

If it is a primary school they will have books through to 11 yrs. In the juniors one of the history topics will be WW2 so of course they need books. My DS did the subject in yr 3. Since he has brought the book home, I think it would have been better to have looked through it with him and discussed it. You could have looked at it first and found pages that were suitable for discussion and told him that the rest was for when he was a bit older.
I wouldn't go in furious. I would just have a quiet word and suggest that the person signing them out uses a bit of gentle guidance. (Some children are a bit dogmatic and I can imagine that my brother at 5 yrs wouldn't have been open to gentle guidance-it would have had to have been wrestled from him!)

OK, so maybe he's picked a book that you would prefer he didn't see. Other parents might not have minded. You did. Up to you.

But I think it's a little OTT to be "seething and planning to complain." A quiet word is the max, I would say.

I must be living in an alternate reality and I may be in the minority when say I that I would let my children look at volumes of books on WWII before allowing them to read a Star Wars one.

I have shelves and shelves full of children's picture books so my lot tend to choose books that we can look at together from the library.

War is atrocious but it is reality. Star Wars is a scary science fiction story full of frightening creatures that never existed.

yabu a little to be seething etc, but yanbu to think this book isn't appropriate for a primary school library.

The war happened, agreed. It's ok for kids as young as 5 to know about war, agreed. My dd (also 5) knows what war is and soldiers, armies, guns, tanks etc.

But I would not let her see photos from inside concentration camps, piles of dead bodies and such like. It would upset her and raise questions with answers that I do not feel a 5 yr old is emotionally able to cope with knowing.

YANBU Greensleeves.

But - I bet the teacher didn't look through to see these photos, she probably just assumed it was a reference book for primary kids about the war. So I wouldn't go nuts at her personally, but I would have a word about the suitability of the books in the infants library.

Cadmum - But you can explain to a child the difference between fiction and reality. My daughter is not scared of sci fi tv shows or monsters or star wars type films as we have made her aware from and early age of what is real and what is not. She knows these monsters are people dressed up or computer "tricks" and enjoys viewing it because she isn't afraid.

That is not possible when viewing photos of the holocaust - and whilst I agree young children should be told about death and dying (ww2 included) I do not agree that viewing photographs of huge piles of naked dead emaciated bodies is the right way to do it. It would be like primary sex education consisting solely of a viewing of "Debbie Does Dallas". Too much, too soon, too young.

I too think yabu. I am a parent helper at dd1's school, and the school library trip is something I do.

As others have said, it is incredibly difficult to review all the books that the children have chosen and get them stamped and back to class within a short space of time. Also, as you know children are stubborn and if they are set upon a book then so be it. I don't think the book would have been in the library if it had been deemed unsuitable for primary school children.

YANBU
It sounds like this book shouldn't be in the library. The teacher probably didn't know it was there and would probably be horrified if you showed her the pictures - I'm sure she would understand why you don't want ds reading it.

I wouldn't go in seething and angry, just take it back calmly and explain why you're unhappy.

Once when I had a year 3 class I was sorting out the class book corner and came across a non-fiction book called "CARRION!" full of pictures of roadkill and dead/decaying animal corpses. Lucky I noticed it really,(and threw it away) otherwise a child could easily have taken it home.

I don't think it's the tanks etc that Greensleves has a problem with... I'd say it's more likely to be the pictures of piles of dead bodies? IMO graphic photographs like that are not suitable for a 5 year old? I don't think I'd be entirely comfortable looking at them myself - and no I am not in denial about WW2!!

I would bring it to the teacher's attention. In dc's school they ask for donations to the school library. The teacher responsible for deeming the suitability is a miserable old harradan who hates children (this is dd's opinion so must be true ). She would put a book like that in there to scare the bejayzus out of the mishaving little no-marks. I don't think yabu if it is a graphic book.

The book is very detailed - at 5 can he actually read it? Does it matter? Pictures - only you can decide.

Oh I can't stand this ' my child is too young to be exposed to...' crap. Look - your child bought home a history book. How about you try talking to him about that history, talk about the pictures, talk about what happened and what choices were made. 5 is not too young for that sort of discussion based on some of the photos in the book. He's never going to have the patience to read every last page!

Of course if you find it easier to throw your hands in the air, refuse to recognise the capabilities of your growing child and make a fool of yourself raving at his teacher then go ahead.

A bit of overreaction from the OP, she as she admits could have handeled it in a different way. If i were in that siutation, i would have sat down with my dc and gone though some aspects of the book while skimming over the inappropriate stuff. Primary school goes from 4 years until about 11, so this book should be in there but for the older children who would be able to understand. I agree that pictures of concentration camps, dead bodies is not appropriate for a 5 year old, and mabey the teacher did not realise. Just have a quiet word with the teacher and keep hold of the book until your ds has to give it back to the library.

Ds can choose his own non-fiction texts, sometimes they're age appropriate but we've had a gory one recently with lions eviscerating a zebra. Agree with your previous post Greensleeves, and would return the book in person or with a note asking if they were aware of the graphic written and photographic content, disturbing to a young child? Was he really meant to come home with it?

What northernlurker said.

I didn't learn about WW2 until i was about 11/12. I think 5 is a bit too young - whatever happened to James and the Giant Peach? The Twits? Roald Dahl. I wouldn't want my son reading about war at 5yo - would give him nightmares.

I'd be seething. Just asked dp who must be of the most laid back people on the planet and he said he'd be seething too.

1 of my twin boys 5 is extremely sensitive and he would be seriously upset by pictures such as those described. My kids are 5,5 and 4 and have never seen the news or anything about war as basically I'd like to keep them carefree just a little bit longer. I'm sure I read somewhere too much news etc can cause depression in young children and I can see why as it depresses the hell out of me at times.

They've got the rest of their lives to know how scary the world can be. Why exactly does a 5 year old need to know horrible details about war,what is there to be gained from it- for him or society? I'm slowly starting to let them know that people can be horrible to each other but that's as far as it goes,to have that snatched from me would enrage me. I know my dc best. There is no place in a primary school for a book like this,as a rec teacher I would never have shown or told my class about such things.

I know for a fact most of my friends would be horrified if their 5 year old dc came home with a book like that. Of course I want my dc to know all about ww2 one day but not at the age of 5. I'm sorry but I don't think pictures of dead bodies have a place in KS1 at all. That isn't to say I don't think death should be discussed in KS1 I do but torture,blowing up people,bodies errr no thanks.

I don't let my dc watch violence on tv,it's widely reported that watching violence is not good for young children so I'm staggered that there are mothers who think it's ok for a 5 year old to look at pictures of immense violence and it's consequences. The worlds gone mad

So the question on my IQ test is:

Sex education is to Star Wars what

Debbie Does Dallas is to World War Two.

I had better give up on the idea of teaching logic to my children then.

GS, How is it that you can abide taking your children to a 'peaceful demo' in support of a group to whom very real and very nasty things are done AND the same group that commits very real and very nasty things to other people? Do you think that by hiding the truth from your children it makes it more acceptable to bring them along?

I think the people claiming Greeny is BU are simply not listening to the description of the book and especially the pictures. This book is in no way suitable for a 5yo, or even for older children primary school.

Don't know what some of you are imagining in terms of pictures of WW2, but stop and think about some of the images of concentration camp victims as the Allies marched in. They are horrifying photographs. No 5yo should be confronted with such cruelty.

This is not a thread about explaining war to small children in a way that is appropriate for their age. This is about a child getting hold of a book containing terrifying images that they will be completely unable to process. This book is no more suitable for primary school than The Bumper Book of Playboy Centrefolds.

I would have taken the book away too.

No of course its not appropriate for a young child to see violence and gory images, learning about wws at that young age is mabey not such a good thing. When i was bout 7 we started learning about WW2 and it was the most fascinating thing ever. My dad then took me to the RAF museum in Hendon and I was enthralled, I still am to this day. At school i recall watching videos of the home front, day to day life during the war, rationing, evacuations which also covered bombings and the Blitz. We did not cover the Holocaust until about 15.

YANBU to think the book is unsuitable, take it back and ask for a different one. Probably the teacher will take more care in future.

I think you ABU to be "seething" tbh, you've said elsewhere that you have always been happy with this teacher "she was excellent" for your dd so to be "seething" over this will make you look pretty unreasonable and its really not worth falling out with a teacher over is it?