to be seething and planning to complain to ds2's teacher tomorrow?

[Greensleeves]

ds2 (aged 5 and just started Y1) has come home today with a library book - the children are taken to the library to choose a book once a week

he has come home with a huge hardbacked tome entitled "The Readers Digest Illustrated History of World War II"

I have flicked through it and it is full of photos of tanks, machine guns, people standing outside their bombed-out houses etc

I am FURIOUS

ds1 had this teacher last year and she is excellent, I think very highly of her and am VERY surprised to find that she has allowed this to happen

I really don't want to antagonise her (not only have I liked and respected her for more than a year, she's a bit scary) but I really feel I have to say something!

I have taken the book away from ds2 and told him that is isn't suitable for a 5yo - he is now crying in the living room

AIBU to be really fucked off?

Echo what others have said really. Next year or the year after when he does Britain Since 1930 and will inevitably learn about WW2, what are you going to do then? He won't see what you see in that book and he'll be learning about it very soon. You are in for a very hard time if you think you can pick and choose what he sees and learns.

If I'd only had access to infant reading material as an infant, I would be nowhere NEAR as > interesting as I am now.

Ask him why he chose it.You may be surprised and reassured by the answer. He may have chosen it because it was a certain colour, or because he was demonstrating to other children how strong he is to pick up such a big book, or to look at the tanks, or because he was looking inside the bombed out houses to see if they had the same carpet as he had.

And really, I think that's probably as 'deep' as he would have gone with it.

I have talked to them about war by the way - we belong to the Woodcraft Folk which has a strong pacifist emphasis and I have taken the children on a couple peaceful demos supporting the Palestinians etc - no gory details, no pictures

they do know pretty much what guns and tanks are for and that people are driven from their homes and become refugees etc

but I'm not comfortable with them reading about it in detail - either of them (ds1 is nearly 7) and particularly not seeing pictures of emaciated concentration camp victims and mountains of bodies and families looking devastated by their bombed-out homes

it is not NECESSARY to fill his head with this stuff at 5yo, surely?

Could you go through it, note the really scary stuff and then sit with him to have a read so he can show you what he found interesting and you can "censor" the other stuff?

My DS would be pretty hurt if I took away a book he had chosen. He would see it as me being angry with him even though that wouldn't be the case.

No not necessary, but he has chosen it so now you have to deal with it in a way that takes into account that choice.

I personally think you are over reacting.

The school library will have all manner of fiction and non fiction books in it, covering a range of subjects and themes. The library needs to include books that are of interest to all children in the school, be they in reception or in Y6.

I am a TA in a Y1 class. I do the weekly library run with the children. I take them in groups of 8. I read the children a story and we have a chat about it, sometimes we talk about how to chose a book, where to find the books, difference between books, etc.

Then the children return their old library book and take out a new one. I do not chose for them and I do not vet their books either. I simply note down the book title they take, the date they take it out and the date it is returned.

We are encouraging our children to select books themselves, to make choices for themselves of which book in the school library they wish to read, etc.

The school library in a primary school is very unlikely to have text or images that are overly graphic. If they are then you need to flag this up with your child's teacher so that the book can be checked for suitability and if necessary removed.

But overall I do not feel that a book about WW2 is unsuitable for an infant school child. Library books are ideally meant for the child to share with their parents. I think it could provide a good discussion point between you.

ohhhh there's pictures of bodies? I see.

Then yes, I'd have removed this book too. But don't be angry with the teacher, she probably didn't realise he had it.

I have asked him colditz

he said he thought it was a book about Star Wars

I STILL think (yes ok, not know) he saw the tanks and was wowed, though.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

You must buy him a book about star wars

he provbably saw the word War then!

Hang on a minute!

"You are in for a very hard time if you think you can pick and choose what he sees and learns"

Not completely, no, but as a parent you have a responsibility to try to filter what they see and learn, especially at junior school level!

It's parents who shrug their shoulders and just say, "why bother, they'll see it all soon enough" who presumably let their children watch '12 / 15/18' rated movies, do not monitor their children's pc use or TV viewing.
Children can be highly vulnerable to distressing images.

Whatever happened to 'protecting' children??

Sure, teach your child about WW2, but don't use adult level unsuitable material.

Would you use a porn magazine to teach about the human body???

Don't understand encouraging 5 y/o boys' interest in tanks and guns is perfectly fine but not telling them about the consequences of what happens when they are used. I KNOW that boys are interested just as they are interested in tractors and cars but perhaps people should be questioning this more...

that's what he says colditz - apparently there is a "war" section and he saw this huge black book with gold lettering and though it was about Star Wars

I have promised to take him to the town library at the weekend and see if they have any children's books about star wars

Hula, this is an adult book which is full of distressing and graphic pitures and descriptions

what the hell it is doing in a 5yo's bookbag I don't know - I do think the adults who are in loco parentis when he is there should be more careful when allowing the hcildren to choose books

My mother gave me a book to read on Auschwitz, which went into detail about Mengele's experiments on children, when I was eight. She wanted me to know these things as one of my great uncles had been in a concentration camp (Thereienstadt; he escaped). I did read it - I remember reading it, and seeing the photos of all of the corpses, but it really, really didn't sink in as to what it was all about. It was much later on, when I was in secondary school and we were doing WW2 in detail that I remembered the book.

However this thread does highlight why parents really do need to be checking school bags and being involved.

Only you as a parent really know your own child.

It would be wrong of teachers to completely deny these books from school libraries and to not allow any young child to bring them home.

However if you as a parent feels your child has brought home any book, whether libary or reading, from school that yiu feel is unsuitable for your child, then of course you should remove it (if necessary discussing why with dsaid child) and return it to school the next day and have a quiet word with the teacher to change it.

I have done jjust that with one of DD's school reading books once as the content, which she could read easily as it was her reading book, was upsetting for her at that time. The teacher had no problem with her changing it.

I watched Escape From Sobibor with a friend of my mother's when I was about 7

it scared the living shit out of me

I KNOW this is in no way the same - in fact it turns out ds2 had no idea what he'd chosen anyway - but if either he or ds1 HAD picked it up and starting looking through it in detail (and they can read) IMO it would have been totally unsuitable and could have upset them

yanbu at all he is only 5 much to young to look at books like that.It is an adult book and has no place in a primary school library at all except in a reference section for older children to look at with teacher in appropriate lesson.There are so many wonderful books appropriate to your child's age.I would put markers in the worst pages and take the book in to school tomorrow.Give it to the techer and ask if your son can choose something else.You are being a loving and responsible parent.

Greensleeves - out school library contains books that have been deemed appropriate and suitable by the LEA school library service and the headteacher. As a member of staff I do not have time to vet every book my children select - that is 30 books to check, alongside everything else. It is not the same as taking your on child to the town library and only having to check what book 2 or 3 of your children are choosing. We have a very time restricted period in which to use the library and get through all 30 children once a week.

Why put markers in teh book? Just talk calmly about the incident.

if you don't have time to notice if a 5yo is taking a huge hard-backed adult reference book, then the library should be organised in such a way that very young children do not have access to adult books which contain graphic and unsuitable material

in any case, the school are responsible for my child's welfare while he is there, and they have let him and me down by allowing him to have this book. IMO.

But why have school let you down? I don't understand that point. The children will get a few minutes to select a book and then it goes in their drawer - or in our school it does. The children don't have time to read the book at school. So it goes home in their bag. presumably parents then check bags on getting home - therefore an unsuitable book could easily be intercepted before the child gets it any further.

I don't know this book. If it is totally unsuitable, then do flag it up at school. I agree this is a must.

But my role is not to vet every book the children take. Lots of our library books are big thick hardbacks, esp in the non fiction side. I simply do not have time to check them all. I have 30 children to watch over. Most of my time is making sure they are being sensible, not distrupting classes near by, making sure books go in the right place, etc.

But yes, if it is inappropriate please go and speak to the teacher. They can then have a look into further.

Sorry, but your last post makes me want to say "get over yourself".

If your son has only looked at the cover, he hasn´t been harmed by the book, IMO, and has been more hurt by your reaction.

Why don´t you offer to go in to help when it´s "library time"?

Everyone was very anti children seeing pictures of 9/11. But it is ok for children to see pictures of bombed out houses and holocaust victims, concentration camps etc.

I'm quite shocked that I've found a thread where I'm agreeing with Greensleeves!

Wearing both teacher (Humanities co-ordinator) and parent hats, I agree that the book was inappropriate, the teacher should have known what her class are choosing and that although introducing and explaining what happened in WW2 is a good thing, it needs to be age appropriate.
In Primary, the emphasis is on the Home Front and Evacuation rather than a detailed examination of Auschwitz and Japanese POW camps. If you go to the Imperial War Museum with 5 Year old, you can wander around the tanks and planes but they won't let you in to the Holocaust section. You need a level of emotional maturity to cope with the full, unedited events. In a 'normal' library, a child can't take out an adult book on their ticket.
Sounds like a School Fair donation to me.

I think you are being unreasonable. You have made a huge deal out of it. He was clearly interested in the book. Children are not stupid and generally self censor. The book is obviously appropriate for children or would not be in school library.
Teaching children about history is difficult because its filled with things we would rather forget.